Am I Hurting or Helping?

You don't have a choice,

But perhaps he needs a home enviornment instead, Daycare might be just too much of a change,

Try a family home daycare, as its much more relaxed and less regiment.

Its a difficult transition for him, to go from Gpa who lets him relax and play at will, and then to be told what to do every second of the day with no recourse.

http://national.unitedway.org/211/
Call 211 for local family daycares

Here is what the Yahoo search turned up.

Family Home Daycare near Westbury - Local Results

Home Sweet Home Family Daycare - ###-###-#### -
19107 120th Rd, New York, NY - 8.89mi

My Home Spa - ###-###-#### - Melville, NY - 8.39mi - map

A Second Home Family Day Care - ###-###-#### -
151-99 85th Ave, Jamaica, NY - 10.57mi - map

I have a feeling this would work out better for him,

Good Luck

M

A.,
As you said you really don't have a choice. Is there a window where you can see into the classroom? One where he will not see you? If so I would LET THE TEACHER/DAYCARE PERSON KNOW that you would like to observe without your son knowing. In other words, make sure they know it is you and not some stranger looking in. You wouldn't want them to call the police on you. That way you can see how long it takes him to settle down.

I think he is used to being home with you and Grandpa and just wants to keep it that way. The reason it MAY be getting worse is now he knows where he is going and that he will be there for awhile.

If it is a good school, the people there are more then likely telling the truth about him calming down after you leave. They are experienced at handling this situation all the time. No child really wants to leave what they are used to, unless they are very outgoing children.

My feeling is if it was real bad after you leave, that the school personal would let you know because it would be a problem for them. If you have the problem with something at work wouldn't you go to the best person to help? In this case you would be that person or the owner of the daycare. Either way I think that you would hear about it.

Hope this helps and I agree with what the first mom to reply said about making sure that the daycare has a good reputation. Maybe you could talk to one or two of the other parents?

I work in childcare, and social interaction with other children is very beneficial to your childs development. If the teachers say that he is fine after you leave I would trust it and let hime be, aslo he misses grandpa, does heget to see him regularly, I know that if he doesnt seem him then this could be his way of telling you he misses grandpa. be brave all children are differnt and it may take him longer to adjust. stay strong.. Could you stay at daycare longer with him, liek to read a story or play for a few extra minutes??

UH..This brings back painful memories. My son now 27 months also started day-care at 21 months. We did the same exact thing as you, 3 half days with intentions to extend to full time. Up until then, I had a nanny that came to the house to watch him everyday. For the first 2 or 3 weeks, he would cry as soon as we'd get close to the school. I started talking about his friends at school, and naming them and the teachers. I did this every night at home, and when I'd drop him off at school I would yell in excitement YAY SCHOOL!!! This helped a bit, but what really helped was at Halloween they had a little party, and I attended the party later that day and spent a few hours there. He started to really get comfortable and played and talked (teachers told me he didn't really talk while at school till then). I think somehow he finally let his guards down. He had started in September, but by end of October is when he was at a point of excitement for school. Now, I can't even tell you... He talks about his friends and teachers and school all the time. He really enjoys the interaction and all the activities. Once a very shy little boy, he is almost the leader of the pack now and initiates a lot of the dancing and sing along activities. With all of this said, I think the school has a lot to do with the transition. Make sure the school you've chosen is right for you and your son, and classes are smaller so he doesn't feel lost in there. If he is having a good time once you leave, then it's just the transition. Oh by the way, we enrolled him full time as of November. Good luck, and hang in there.

I am sorry that you are experiences the oh so common separation anxiety, It is harder on the parents then the kids. This is normal and he will keep turning up the intensity until he realizes nothing will work. Mommy, Daddy and Grandpa cannot be there 24/7 it is not possible. You are doing the right thing. Do not worry he will adjust. The suggestion previously mentioned about a private observation area so you can watch for yourself would be great but not all daycares have them. If yours does take advantage to put your heart at ease; however, if not the daycare would let you know if there were issues.

A.,

I am going through a similair situation and I feel for you. As long as you know he is safe and being treated properly then you should continue to take him. I believe most of what you are feeling is 'mommy guilt' We never want to see our children cry. He will eventually come to except the new routine and will stop the tear factory drama! No Harm will come to him, He will not be damamged for life. He will come around. Good Luck

Hi A.

I can feel your heart hurting when you have to go through this. My first question, since I do not know anything about the daycare, is are you secure enough with the place. Has it come with references, do you know it is a good safe place for your son?

If so, then you just have to be consistent with what your doing and your son will eventually adapt.
If your not secure with the place then you need to find another.

I was a single parent for most of my daughters young years and had to leave her with babysitters and child care places alot. They do get adjusted as you stay consistent. But if they see you wavering they will take advantage.

I hope this helps.

God Bless You!