Age Difference Between Kids

Updated on June 22, 2013
A.A. asks from Tulsa, OK
28 answers

Just curious- what's the age difference between your kids? Why do you think it's a good difference or in retrospect do you wish you would've waited longer or have been sooner? My sister and I are 18 mos apart, that boat has long sailed for us, my hubby and his are 4 years apart. They didn't play well together and have only become close as adults, my sister and I always (well, until the teenage years) were great friends. Starting to think about #2...

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So What Happened?

Thank you all for the input, I enjoyed reading your answers! I used to think that 2 years would be perfect, until the time rolled around that I would've needed to have gotten pregnant. Then I knew I was NOT ready for another one. The last few months we've really started thinking we are ready (as ready as possible, I suppose) for a new one. If things progress as planned (I got pregnant the first month we were trying with #1, we'll see what happens this time) then there will be about a 3 year difference.

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answers from Phoenix on

My oldest is 13.We have a 9 yr old,5 yr old and a 19 day old.So there 4 to 5 yrs apart.I think just like the first answer said,i was ready when i was.I am not like other moms who cannot wait to have another kid and has one a year later then the other ones.I like to wait because its just easier for me and my husband.My kids get along well and my kids help me out with there siblings.It is easier to me because my sister has two kids and they are 2 and 1 yrs old.She had me babysit before my kids were even born!!(there about 16 or 17 now)And it was just a lot of work for me to keep track of each of them.Its easier for me to keep the age gap far:)

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Columbia on

My boys are 18 months apart as well, and are the best of friends. I've never seen brothers closer.

My brother and I are 7 years apart. We're not close at all. And fought as kids.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

My oldest and middle child are 3.5 years apart, the middle and youngest are almost 4 years apart. In some respects, I wish I'd had them closer so that they'd be more on the same page as far as activities go. Right now It's hard to find something for all of us to do that pleases both the 11 yr old and the 3 yr old. But on the other hand, it was nice to have each of my older kids be fairly independent and potty trained before the new baby came. They all fight with each other quite a bit, and I don't know if that would have been better or worse with a closer age difference. I originally thought they would fight less with a bigger age gap, but I was wrong!

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Boston on

I find that whatever age you have your kids tends to work out.

Our family is blended so that changes things up a bit - my step-twin oldest children (my son, his daugther) are 4 months apart. They are in the same grade at school and their circles of friends overlap. They are as different as night and day but at age 15, they've known each other for 12 years and have been siblings for almost 10 and still seem to like each other in a funny, antagonistic way.

Our next kids, two boys, came 6 years and 8 years after their older siblings. They are 22 months apart. Our youngest was very much a surprise but I'm glad that it worked out this way because those two are very close and I'm glad my second son has a buddy because I think that trailing 6 years behind a pair of older siblings would have left him in the dust. If it had been just my oldest son and then my second I think that would have been different but to have one trailing many years behind two the same age would have been out of balance.

I will say that the 6 year difference made me able to attend to my oldest son and my second like each was an only child. Because the older kids were in school, my 2nd son had my undivided attention when I was on maternity leave while my youngest had to share my attention. My youngest is the most well-adjusted, easygoing little guy in the bunch so maybe sharing my attention from the get go was a good thing.

I am the 2nd oldest of 5 kids born in a 6.5 year span. My older sister and I are 23 months apart and are practically strangers. My younger sister and I are 4.5 years apart and practically share a brain, proximity in age doesn't really affect how close siblings will be.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on

My kids are 4 years apart.
It is perfect. For them and us.
We didn't plan it that way.
My kids are close.
They adore each other.

I have a sibling in which we are 2 years apart. Oil and water. Couldn't stand each other. Still even. But it is more mature now.
I guess.

Age difference does not matter.
Because, you cannot predict nor plan.... HOW your kids will get along or even whether they will like each other or not.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

Mine are 3 1/2 years. Part is because I was single when I had my oldest and by the time I met my husband and got married he was almost 2 1/2. We waited a few months and then tired for another one. I woudl not want the any further apart. Me and my brothers are all three years and some months apart. I got along some with them when young but not real well. My husband and his siblings are 22 months apart exept the youngest and I think she's three years from the one above her. They get alone will for the most part now and I think growing up as well.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

My children are 3 years apart. They get along well. I am 1 1/2 years younger than my eldest sibling but am 11 years older than my youngest. I was closer to my older sister growing up but now we are no longer close. I am still close with a brother 7 years my junior.

I honestly feel that you will know when it is right to have another child and no matter the age gap they will decide whether or not they will be close in the end.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Milwaukee on

My two boys are 16 months apart. It's great that they always have each other but they can really dislike the other at times. It wasn't really a planned thing though :)

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Boise on

It will be easier to give their ages 22, 21, 20, 19, 11, 9, 6, 3.

It was crazy hectic with the older, a little slower paced with the younger, or litter one and litter 2 as the husband calls them.

Mine all get along great for the most part. I mean they're kids, but if they had to choose they would play together over other people.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Tampa on

Mine are two years apart exactly. It has worked well for us. It was REALLY hard at first having 2 in diapers at the same time. They do fight some, but they also love each other a lot and play together. It works well because we can usually find an activity that everyone can do now that they are 5 and 7.

We ended up having ours close together because I was in my 30's when the first one came along. We didn't want to wait too long to try again. I would do it the same way again though...

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

My two are 6 weeks shy of 3 years apart. I don't think that I could have had sanity with them closer, but that is also the personality of my kids. They are 2 and almost 5 they play together some and love each other dearly.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Houston on

My kids are 4 years apart. Perfect. My brother and I are 4 years apart. We get along ok. I think the fact that we are opposite sex and live 1000 miles apart is part of the lack of closeness. I really don't think age has anything to do with it.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

I had three under three. The first two were 14 months apart, and the second two were 19 months apart. They share clothes, play continually together and are generally fantastic friends. When they get a game going, nothing can stop them!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Diego on

Mine are 7.5 years apart. They are 9 and almost 2. They are already very close.

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answers from Washington DC on

Mine are 2 years 6 months and 6 days apart. It is perfect!
They are close. They are friends.
They are protective of one another.
They call, text, chat, and actually enjoy each others company.


answers from San Diego on

First and second are a couple months shy of 3 years apart. When my third was born they were 8 & 5.
My brother and I are 3 years apart.
I am grateful I didn't have them super close together. I got time with each one. The older ones were more independent so I could take care of everyone without stressing about not being able to take care of basically 2 infants.
Everyone plays well together. My older 2 boys really look out for their sister. We have typical sibling rivalry that you would get with closer together just as much as you get with some separation.
Whatever works for you is what is perfect though. I wanted some space between them and it worked perfect for my family. Others do like having them close together.



answers from Chicago on

I had 3 in just under 3 years. My older and middle are 15 months apart and the middle and younger are 20 months apart. They are 9 (boy) 7(girl) 6(girl). They are the best of friends, overall. I hated being pregnant and just wanted to get it over with. I wouldn't want it any other way.


answers from Tampa on

Mine are just shy if 6 years apart and it couldn't have worked out better! My son was old enough to understand what was going on, I didn't have jealousy issues and he ADORES his baby sister! He plays with her all the time and is so protective over her. I have 4 brothers the oldest being 13 years older and then one only a year older. And growing up I was and still am closer to my oldest brother and the one who's a year older.



answers from Salt Lake City on

There is 3 years between the first and second and 4 years between the second and the last. The first and the youngest get along well. None of them get along with the middle child. Middle child syndrome?


answers from Grand Forks on

My boys are three years and one week apart. It was a perfect age difference. I still had all of my baby gear and it was all still good (not expired). When my baby was born my older son was three and able to start pre-school three afternoons a week, which allowed him play time away from baby, and allowed bonding time for baby and I. My older son also potty trained and moved from the crib right before the baby was born, so I never had two in diapers or a crib. Because my older son is 5th percentile for size and my younger son is 95th percentile, they have been the same size for a long time, so they can share clothes. They are close enough in age that they play together and like many of the same things (the younger son grew up a little faster because he wanted to do what his older brother did). We'll see what happens when my older son heads off to middle school in the fall. I hope they remain close.


answers from Minneapolis on

Mine are 23 months apart and it was perfect for me. They could play together and even as teenagers do things together - golf, hunting, fishing, jet skis, etc.

My step-sons are 5 years apart and don't interact. It's the older one watching the younger.

My brother and I are almost 5 years apart and he always tried to parent me. We're close now as adults, but I really was an only child from 8th grade up.



answers from Los Angeles on

My stepson is almost four years older than my oldest. My first two are just under 13 mos apart, second two are 21 mos apart and last two are almost four years apart. I think it highly depends on the personality of the kids as to whether or not they will get along- regardless of the age difference. However, I love how my first three are so close in age- once I got past having three in diapers! They are built in playmates and can do everything together. I really wish that I would have had another right after my third instead of waiting almost four years.
I am five years older than my sister and we've never been close. Now, as adults, we like each other, but we're always at different stages in our lives and have very little in common. It was almost like we were two only children.



answers from Chicago on

21 months between first two, 3 years between second two. My first two are best friends. They love playing together. Both now love their new baby sister. I like the 3 year gap for sanity reasons.



answers from San Diego on

My girls are 5 1/2 years apart. Not sure if it's a good age difference (lil late now lol) because they fight ALL THE TIME!!


answers from Los Angeles on

All 3 of my kids are each 2 years apart & I think it's perfect! My 2 stepsons are 3 years apart & they fought a bit between the ages of 10-14. Both me & my only sister & my husband & his only brother are each 2 years apart and we are the best of friends, that is why we chose to go 2 years apart with our kids!

My 2 nephews are 4 years apart and they have never had anything in common and it's sad, they are not "friends" and never just hang out together!



answers from Washington DC on

No age difference is any sort of guarantee. My BIL could have swapped places with my SIL in the family order and he and DH would still be oil and water. My sister and I were 3.5 yrs apart, and my sks are 4.5 years apart. Sometimes I think a little space means less fighting over the same things.


answers from Washington DC on

I am 7 years younger than my sister and 5 years younger than my brother. My sister and I had problems growing up - what sibling doesn't??? :) All three of us are close - we talk weekly on the phone...we'd see each other more if I wasn't on the other side of the country!! :)

My husband is 364 days older than his sister. Theirs has been a turbulent relationship all their lives...their youngest sister is 5 years younger than my husband....and their relationship? it was great for a while...but only when they were older...

My daughter is 13 years older than my oldest son and my boys are 2 years 3 months apart. They have their moments - but really- all children do. I know they have each other's backs when things get "rough".

"only" children miss out on a lot in my book. My daughter was an only for 13 years....and the age gap was hard on her and she had wanted siblings when her dad and I were married....nothing will ever be perfect. Sorry. Kids, no matter how great - will fight with their siblings AND YOU... :) it happens.

don't let other relationships factor in your choice of having more children. If you and your husband are on the same page and want and can afford another child - by all means! HAVE FUN!!! :)



answers from Los Angeles on

My kids are exactly 3 years and 5 months apart. I'm happy with the age difference. By the time my second one came along, my first was 100% potty trained, in school two mornings a week, and able to play by himself while I nursed, even if I was in a different room. I think if he had been younger, he'd have been a lot less self sufficient and it would have been much harder for me to nurse and care for a newborn.

They are close enough in age that they play together and enjoy a lot of the same things. They are far enough apart that I can count on my older one to keep an eye on the younger one for a few minutes while I take care of things in another part of the house (they are now 6 and 2.5 years old).

I wish my daughter had been born a couple of months earlier, as she then would have made the school cutoff, but that's a whole other story. I really don't think I could have managed having them less then three years apart.

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