3 Yr Old Twirling Hair into Knots.

Updated on January 08, 2011
S.S. asks from Hartsdale, NY
12 answers

Hi Everyone,

My little girl has the most beautiful wavy/curly hair but she has a habit of twirling it so much that it winds up in some major knots and I have to sit with a fine comb to get them out at night. I try not to upset her while I work on getting them out but I can't always manage to do that. We have tried a lot of things to get her to try and stop doing it but I think at this point she might be doing it unconsciously. I have tried putting it up in a ponytail but by the end of the day the ponytail has been pulled down. I have tried hats and rewards too. I know a lot of you are going to tell me to cut it off, but I would have to cut down to a pixie short hairstyle so she has nothing to grab on too at all. I know it's only hair and it will grow back but that would really break my heart.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

S.

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M.P.

answers from Spartanburg on

My daughter did this too, and I think you're right that they don't really know they're doing it. I put her hair in braids as much as possible, not only to keep her from twisting but also to keep me from having to unravel the knots. I did keep her hair short- not pixie short, just short enough that it was easier for me to get out the knots. She asked if she could have long hair like a princess, and I told her only if she stopped twisting, and by golly she did! But I don't know what I would have done otherwise. Do try the braids, though- my daughter looked really cute with her little braided pig-tails.

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L.C.

answers from Washington DC on

Just use conditioner when you wash her hair. The knots will loosen and fall right out.
YMMV
LBC

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E.C.

answers from New York on

As with most things in parenting, there is no magic wand. I'd agree with your intuition - cut it off or let it be knotted.

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N.B.

answers from Toledo on

Shine sprays have silicone in them, which makes the hair silky smooth and easy to comb. Braids are the best defense against twirling, though. Trying not to upset her while combing is working against you. Every time she complains about you combing out her snarls, remind her that she put them there, and you'll be SO happy when she stops doing it and you don't have to fight with them anymore. Also, maybe she should be taught to comb her own hair.You don't say how old she is, but if she's 4 or more, maybe it's time for her to deal with the consequences of twirling her hair. If she has to get the snarls out herself, maybe she'll try harder to stop.

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C.O.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter used to do this. I would just braid her hair as much as I could. I also told her that if she kept doing it I would have to cut her hair really short. She eventually stopped. Now she's almost four and her hair is down to her shoulders. She wants to grow it out as long as Rapunzel's.

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S.H.

answers from New York on

First I ignore it hoping she will stop on her own. And I try distraction. (You know "look here" etc... get her mind on something new..) Sometimes that works. When that doesn't work, I ask her what is wrong that is making her nervous that she needs to do it. I tell her to chant "om" with me and let out a big long ooooooooooooooooooooooooom - as in a yoga om. It usually makes her laugh and if I'm lucky she stops twirling for awhile. It seems to be quite common with little girls - but my goodness, so frustrating to watch! Good luck!

'
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R.Y.

answers from New York on

I've had long hear for decades. I braid it or put in in a bun to sleep or if I am doing something where loose hair will tangle (camping, heavy cleaning, etc). Try putting your daughter's hair in braids--a french braid for special occasions. Klutz makes a really nice book of braided hairstyles. Also if detangler isn't working combing with the conditioner in helps for bad knots.

I know I like to have my hands busy when I am watching tv or relaxing. Now I crochet and as a teenager I made countless friendship bracelets. Maybe you can find something easy that keeps your daughter's hands busy.
If she is at least 5 or so maybe teaching her to braid, make pot holders on a loom or doing sewing cards might interest her and help keep her hands out of her hair.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

My hair is so curly that it starts to dreadlock after 24 hours (unless I blow it out straight I have 1/2 inch ringlets). And that's if I don't actively try and tangle it. Here's what I do :

- "wash" it every morning (aka load it up with conditioner so that I can comb it while in the shower with conditioner in it)

- Put product in it to define the curl, which ALSO keeps it from tangling.

I have to use some pretty heavy hitting stuff to maintain ringlets, but when I had it relaxed out to waves the BEST product in the world is Bumble & Bumble Get Straight Gel. Soooooo doesn't make hair straight. What it makes it is slippery as all get out. It's a "holy grail" of hair products, meaning it does
- glossy
- soft to touch (not sticky, crunchy, or crisp)
- you can run your fingers through it wet or dry

It's expensive at $25 a bottle, and for every 12 inches of hair you need to use about 3-4 tablespoons (aka generous palmful), so even though it lasts some time it's about 5x more expensive than no more tangles. But I highly, highly recommend it.

Hairstyle trick: Lara Croft braid

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Even if you cut it, she will find a piece to twirl. Just try to distract her.
She probably does it when she is bored or tired. Hopefully she will tire of
you having to brush out the knots at night.

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A.G.

answers from New York on

DO NOT CUT OFF HER HAIR!!!!! This too shall pass! My daughter did the same thing and she too has beautiful, curly hair! She only does it now when she is really upset. I used the spray in detangler and a small comb and fingernail scissors. I would have to pick it out VERY CAREFULLY! and it wasn't always great looking but she grew out of it! NO HAIR CUT!!!!!!!!

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S.D.

answers from Dothan on

Use leave in conditioner. Paul Mitchell's, although tad pricy is amazing slicker for her hair. Use it everyday to keep her from knotting it too bad. And use it to help detangle the knots. There really isnt much you can do, my little sister did that for years. My mom eventually just cut he her hair really short to stop it lol

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