Hair Problems with My 7 Y/o

Updated on February 22, 2011
J.M. asks from Harrisburg, PA
14 answers

Ok so my 7 y/o daughters hair is about shoulder length. She screams like she is being killed (i am talking blood curteling screams) whenever i have to brush her hair. First she does it herself and whines and yells even then then i brush it again to make sure the tangles are out. I refuse to cut her hair short as when i was young had my hair cut short all of the time and looked like a boy and was constantly teased. we always condition her hair in the shower and use a leave in conditioner but still she screams. Her hair is thick and prone to frizz like mine but not curly or anything. Anyone else have a child like this and what do you do? any suggestions would be appriciated.

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So What Happened?

I would like to thank you all for your suggestions, I will definatly be trying some of them. As for cutting her hair chin length, I tried that before and her hair is so thick when she would wake up in the morning it would be standing in all different directions, I would wet it to try and get it down but it would still stick out, the only thing that helped was a straightening iron(which was just as bad as brushing her hair).

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answers from Honolulu on

I have a daughter like that.
The way I solved it is:

1) Got a detangling hair brush. THIS one: It is WORTH the price, believe me.
It does work.... and even if there are tangles... the brush makes it easier to get it out... without all that harsh pulling/tugging at the child's head.

2) Got her satin pillow case. It prevents tangles

3) Use a leave-in hair cream/conditioner. I like the brand "Garnier Fructis." Works real well. Or the brand TIGI "After Party." These are BOTH GREAT GREAT hair products.... for conditioning AND getting tangles out and preventing it. I used it too.

THIS, has really improved her hair, lessened tangles, AND lessened her screaming as I brush her hair. IN fact, she can NOW brush her hair herself... AND the tangles too, which is now less.
AND I always trim her hair regularly, to get rid of split-ends... which also contributes to tangles.

ALSO, brush her hair before bed, and she puts her hair in a low pony tail, before bed.
My daughter's hair is a below the shoulder length.

all the best,

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Houston on

I'm a stylist, so I can help. Skip the leave in conditioner, use a good wash out conditioner. Instead, get a good detangler like no more tears, or I love Sebastion's Laminates Detangling Milk.

Comb her hair in small sections and comb softly. Start from the ends of the hair and comb in small 2 inch increments all the way up to the scalp. The knots detangle better that way, there is less pain and her it will reduce frizz and breakage. Also, hold each section of hair you are currently working on so that the force of combing won't put any pressure on her scalp.

Do not brush tangles out... use a large tooth comb or pick if her hair is very thick and curly ,or a special brush made for detangling. Comb tangles out before bed and before washing her hair. Brushing tangles will only rip the hair and cause pain. Use the brush when styling and smoothing dry, tangle free hair. Towel dry hair softly, if done too vigorously or tousled around, it creates more tangles.

Also, give her a nice haircut. It doesn't have to be boyishly short. If she has dry ends, it can make her frizz worse and make combing the hair worse and more damaging as those split ends travel up the hair shaft. There are plenty of adorable shoulder length or even shorter styles that look adorable on girls, especially if they wear cute, trendy little headbands or clips.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Reno on

I had very long hair as a kid and when I pulled that stunt, my hair got cut short. I never complained about my hair again! If it worked for you, and me, and probably many others, it might work for your daughter, too. Even cutting it to a short bob will reduce the drama and still look girlish.

Aside from that, you may consider loosely braiding her hair at night. It will give her hair a nice wave, cut back on the frizz and reduce tangles in the morning.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Philadelphia on

I suggest using Paul Mitchell Detangler. It works magic and she will not have any tangles at all.

I would not cut her hair. I was like you when I was little. My hair was cut short and I was always mistaken for a boy. I will not put my own daughter through that either.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Pittsburgh on

You may think I am nuts but after fighting the same issues I took my daughter, also 7, in to have a keratin treatment. It is completely natural and you cannot wash her hair for 48 hours but NOW her hair is perfectly straight with no tangles!! It will only last 6 months but then we plan to do it again. We went ot greg jockle salon in wexford only because they has a coupon! Hope this helps?!

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answers from Jacksonville on

My daughter has a sensitive scalp and long fine hair. We don't use any leave in's, but I do use a good quality rinse out conditioner (like what I use for myself, not a kids variety) EVERY time. The, I use a towel to gently squeeze out as much water as I can, then using a WIDE toothed comb, gently (starting at the bottom) comb out the hair. I do it in sections. I don't measure or anything, but just pick a place along the bottom and comb, when the comb slips through easily all across the bottom, then I move up the length of hair. When I finally get up to her scalp, then, and only then, is when I comb from the front of her scalp towards the back.

Keeping the ends trimmed makes a HUGE difference too. Split ends make for lots more tangles it seems. If I ever have a real problem, then I add the use of a spray in de-tangler (again, not a kiddie one- a grown up one).

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Just want to say you are not alone. :)
My daughter is the same. It doesn't matter how I brush her hair, bottom to top or top to bottom, fast or slow, slightly tangled or very tangled, she still yells and cries. I think it's an extra sensitive scalp.

I've told her she has to chose--bear with the tangles and brushing, or cut her hair. She doesn't want to cut her hair, so....

I'm looking forward to reading what the other moms suggest (especially things I haven't tried yet).



answers from Philadelphia on

My daughter is 7 also and has just been getting better with the hair brushing this past year. Her hair is thick and used to be curly, but now it's more wavy.

Getting your daughter's hair trimmed (about an inch or so) will greatly help with the tangles. Otherwise, we constantly wet the hairbrush while brushing or use a spray in detangler (or even water). I have used conditioner on her hair since she was a baby.

Whenever the battles begin, I know it's time to take her for another trim, and she has started to look forward to it, knowing that it will make brushing so much easier, and knowing that I'm not going to make her cut her hair all off.

Good luck



answers from Seattle on

Hair that is prone to frizz is usually not actually straight.... but curls (or waves) that have been brushed out.

To try (an experiment):

Brush her hair in the shower while the conditioner is still in it (just like people with curly hair do). Then... get out, don't brush it, don't rub it, don't dry it just squeeze out the extra water... & put about a navel orange sized ball of Garnier Fructis Curls mousse in it (scrunched through, not combed) and let it air dry.

HOW does it dry? Does it dry in curls, waves, or staight?

The mousse will not create curls in straight hair... it's just designed to be strong enough to hold curls together IF it's curly hair.

My strong suspicion is that your daughter has either natural curl or natural wave... neither of which can usually be treated like straight hair.

((For myself: I have ringlet curly hair. I relax it to varying degrees: totally straight, waves, big loopy curls. I've used the mousse on every length type of my own hair. It's not ideal for waves... for waves Bumble & Bumble Get Straight Gel - for shoulder length hair about a palmful... and THEN about 1/2 a palmful of Bumble & Bumble Grooming Cream is the best I've found... but Garnier Fructis Mousse is $4, versus $20 each for bumble & bumble... hence why I would experiment with the mousse before investing in B&B.))



answers from New York on

I just had daughter waist length hair cut very short like a boy



answers from Pittsburgh on

I'd get it cut to chin length--a cute bob will NOT be mistaken for a boy!



answers from Boise on

That was me when I was little. I sooo wanted my hair in a french braid, so my mom would do it. I'd cry the entire time, but I stuck it out. She'd keep asking me if I wanted to keep going, and she felt so bad doing it. After a while, she refused to braid my hair anymore, 'cause she couldn't stand to see me in pain.

Anywho, try getting a Scrunchie (can you even buy those anymore?) and put her hair in a ponytail, then comb it, starting at the bottom, working your way up. Or have her grab a section in her hand a few inches from her scalp, then move her hand toward her scalp. Then you comb it out gently. That will keep the hair from pulling on her scalp.

There are a lot of cute short styles out there that are anything but boyish. Short doesn't mean you have to go with a Pixie cut. I know boys' hair is getting longer, but a chin-length cut is soooo much easier on a sensitive head! I remember when I got my hair cut from just past my shoulders to my chin. I was eight, and I loved how easy it was. And it didn't hurt! Here are some photos I found of cute shorter hair styles that are definitely not boyish.


answers from Los Angeles on

We had this question just 3-4 weeks ago.
Same mom?
Hold the hair near the ends and brush out to the ends.
Then hold the hair an inch or two away from the ends
and brush out to the ends.
Then hold the hair 3-4 inches away from the ends and etc.
When you get all the way to the scalp, don't brush.
Use your fingers if there are any snarls left.
The brush hurts her scalp.
Also, consider putting in pony tails or braids at night
so that it is less tangled in the morning.
Good luck.



answers from Dallas on

You don't have to cut it drastically short, but could cut it shoulder or chin length. When my hair gets long, it's painful. I have really thick hair and my parents always kept it chin to shoulder length. I never got teased.

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