2 1/2 Yr Old Neice Has Become Afraid of a Lot of Things

It probably is either an emotional problem, or more likely a stage that she will outgrow. My daughter went through something similar with going into my parents' garage. Just one day, all of a sudden, she was afraid. We just changed and entered house by front door. Might have been mistake, but we figured we have so many more years of other battles, that was probably the least of the ones to come. If she was terrified to be around grandparents or go into house at all, I would have questioned that. So, advice: Keep watching, and if you notice other behavior changes like regressed potty behavior, withdrawn attitude, loss of appetite and acting out aggression on toys and sibling, you will have to ring the bells and get the child some help. Meanwhile, if you have opportunity to spend time with her and help give her some stability, then do so. Otherwise, if you are not her guardian, there's little else you can do.

From just what you said, my opinion is that the lack of security at home is a huge factor. It is so very sad that her mother is only focused on a newborn (when they are most needing of the mother) but loses interest as the child grows more independent. I can only imagine what will happen when the child turns 13.

There is probably nothing you can do to prevent this, as long as the child is fed and not injured through neglect or attack, the law cannot intervene. You cannot change how her mother treats her child, and trying to may cause the mother to stop you from seeing your niece. All you can do is to make your home a safe haven, one that shows love and caring. Maybe then she will have some place where she feels secure and can have some normalcy in her life.

my daughter went through this. At 2 she had a long list of fears and many for no reason at all. We had to do quick baths with her screaming, nightimes were rough because of monsters, the wind scared her, dogs terrified her, my favorite was when her preschool called because she was running around on the playground screaming "Bug! Bug!" I know the dog fear was because of an agressive neighbor dog and that experience was passed on to all dogs, even my parent's calm elderly dog. At 5, most of her fears have long been outgrown. We have to drag her out of the tub and she is counting down the days until she can have her very own dog. Give it time and she will outgrow the fears.

First, please take a deep breath and know this: You are a great aunt and an observant and thoughtful one too.

I think the other people posting all have great thoughts-- kids do go through stages of what seem like lots of irrational fears to us and she will likely outgrow them one by one. Maybe you can ask her mom to check with daycare about whether anything has happened there. And it also could perhaps be an issue with her sensory processing and you should look for those signs too. You definitely can help by volunteering to babysit her whenever you can, making your home that safe haven she needs (you'll have to put the dogs outside for a while and honor her fears, which are very real to her now) and giving her extra attention. But one thing is missing here -- you haven't mentioned her father at all, just her mom. Does her dad go along with this nights-away-from-home weekly routine? Or is her mom the only one pushing it? Does her dad also have concerns about her fears or does he agree with her mom that it's a phase she'll get over? Where is he in this whole situation? Would he really prefer his daughter to get more attention, and if so, why isn't he the one giving it? He may be working full-time but he must be around enough to maybe take over the new baby for a while on weekends and suggest that his wife do some "girl stuff" with their daughter. I don't know your relationship with the dad (is he your brother or your sister's husband?) but maybe he could step up to the plate more to give his daughter more attention, or help her get more from her mom.

There are three things that could be causing this. First of course could be the instability at home causing a fear. Less likely, but always possible, is something has occurred at the day care facility. Last possibility is that it could be a sensory integration problem. If this is the problem look at overall reactions to things. Does she seem to not like getting messy, loud noises, bright lights. Then it very well could be a sensory problem. Here are some websites that explain sensory problems a little better www.sinetwork.org & www.insynctherapy.org Feel free to contact me if you have more questions about sensory problems if you feel this is the problem. If it is a sensory processing disorder then she will probably need some help learning to adjust to these things. I am a pediatric occupational therapist and I work with these types of kids all the time.

I like what Martha W has said the best! Sounds like "do all YOU can do" for her. Awww It is true they go thru stages but so much more reason why they need the extra reassurance and attention in that stage to get thru it with out being traumatized. With proper care she will come out of it more stable in my opinion. "Love casts out fear". Love her all you can! Maybe you could babysit? :) Your concern is definitely more than reasonable. She is blessed you are in her life to notice her. With a prayer,
K.