When to Tell Child That Mickey Is Not Real?

Updated on October 17, 2015
N.S. asks from Groveland, FL
19 answers

Walking home with my 5yr old, kindergartner, today and he informed me that Mickey was not real. I asked him how he came to this conclusion and my son told me that his kindergarten teacher told the class that Mickey wasn't real. With the reality that a lot of young children have to face, why blatantly ruin one little fantasy of a mouse that can talk? What do you all think?

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So What Happened?

This posted twice and I don't know why.
Imacat, b, and another post was very helpful. My son knows that they are not 'real per say' but to have the magic called out.
Some said that it didn't compare to Santa but in a sense it does. If a child should not believe in a magical mouse why should they believe in a sleigh drawn by reindeer to give toys to all children?
My main point was that I was seeing it as a big loss of innocence and my son has faced death and abandonment ... I didn't see the rush to destroy all sense of innocence and naïveté.
Thank you all for posting and sharing

Update 2: Elana B thank you for your post. As for all, I understand what you are saying. Oh, and I don't think my son has ever seen Mickey on TV/Movies but only in books and merchandise and then at Disney.
I did over react and I know that. My son and I have discussed all of this and I think that he had already known the truth about Mickey . . . I was just not aware of this.

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R.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I didn't know that kids thought Mickey was real. I think the teacher probably assumed that kids knew Mickey wasn't real. He's not the same as Santa or the Easter bunny. Mickey is typically either a cartoon or a mascot costume at Disneyland.

I think you should give the teacher a break in this case. If she narcs on Santa, that's another matter.

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L.U.

answers from Seattle on

You're "blown away" that your child now knows that a cartoon character is not real?
"blatantly ruin a child's fantasy?" You are "beside yourself?"
I ALWAYS tell my kids that things on tv are not real. Cartoons are not real.
I am actually a bit floored that this is angering you so much.

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S.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

Honestly, it never would have occurred to me that anyone thought Mickey Mouse was real. I'm all for fantasy. We do Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy here, but we have never pretended that TV cartoon characters were real. In fact, we have always made a point to make them understand the things they see on TV aren't real. I didn't know that anyone did the opposite, and I am sure the teacher didn't know either.

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T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Um, seriously I would think that most healthy, normal five year olds know that cartoon characters are in no way, real.
Fantasies are fine, for playtime and story time, but school is for learning and for facts.

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K.W.

answers from Los Angeles on

This reminds me of something funny/stupid I did once. When I was in my first year of teaching (22 and no kids) we were reading an anthology that included the Elves and Shoemaker and one of the response questions was "how can you tell this story is fantasy?" My kids were stumped and I was confused. I was like, "b/c elves aren't real", like 'duh'. My students were shocked. And then I realized why and tried back- peddling. Anyway, just sayin'.

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It's ok to have talking mice as a make believe thing.
That's what's nice about make believe - you can make believe anything - flying elephants, purple cows - you name it.
BUT make believe isn't real - and that's ok for a kid to know that too.

“Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” - Alice

This is nothing to get upset about.
Belief and facts rarely have anything to do with each other.
Laugh about it and chill out a bit.

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E.B.

answers from Austin on

As your child grows older, you will encounter many different beliefs and fantasies and truths. For example, some families do not include Santa in any way in their Christmas observances, and some go to fantastic lengths and expense and time to spare their children from realizing that a jolly old man did not come down their chimney on Christmas eve for as long as possible. Some religions forbid the celebrations of birthdays, and some have elaborate birthday rituals and traditions. Your son will encounter these different, and valid, beliefs and will need to learn how to show respect for those who believe them.

Some children have experienced tremendous loss and neglect in homes that are full of hatred and anger, and others live in luxury without a care in the world. Other children live in a more moderate world, with a family who loves them but perhaps there is a tight budget, the death of an elderly grandparent, a car that isn't always reliable - the cares of this world that are realities.

People will rudely blurt things out that hurt, or innocently spoil a surprise. It just happens.

I encourage you to just focus on your son. If he's seen death and loss up close, then do what is necessary to help strengthen him and give him a solid foundation in his life. Provide security, truthfulness and love.

So what if he knows Mickey Mouse is a cartoon, and a guy dressed in a costume at a carefully orchestrated theme park that costs a ton of money to go to? Plan a fun, simple, magical evening with him. Make mouse ear cupcakes with him (mini Oreos to resemble ears, licorice strings cut to look like whiskers, with chocolate frosting, and eyes from a tube of white gel that they sell in the baking aisle). Watch the most fun Disney movie you can find, or see if they have the old Disney cartoons online. Sing the "Who's the Leader of the Band" song and have your own electric parade around the house with glowsticks and noisemakers (dry beans taped in paper cups or aluminum foil pans taped together make great tambourines and it's a fun craft). Make his life fun and secure and he'll know that his truth and his foundation and his joyful times come from family, and it doesn't matter if a cartoon is real or not, or if the Keebler elves make those cookies or if a sponge can wear pants and live in a pineapple. Show him the balance between realizing what's not true and what is, and how to have fun with the crazy stuff (mutant ninja turtles who like pizza!) and how to depend on the real stuff (his family loves him and his home is secure).

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K.D.

answers from Jacksonville on

I didn't realize kids thought he was real. Now Santa, that's a different story. I'd be livid.

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I am with Katie d, I never knew a kid who thought he was real so I would not think twice about saying he was not. I have always taught my children that the characters they see on tv are not real, especially in cartoons, and that is why they can do the things they can without getting hurt or in trouble.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

Eta after your SWH. You said your son knows he's not real. You can continue the magic with him. You chose Mickey to lighten your child's way of viewing life. Other parent's choose other ways to do it.

My 4 grandchildren have never thought Mickey mouse was real. Kids only see him as a cartoon character while Santa often appears in a real body. We further the myth of Santa and make him a part of children's lives. When we present Santa as a person we're participating in a tradition started a couple of centuries ago. Thinking of Santa as a real person is part of our culture.

Mickey is part of our culture as a cartoon character. He is not a real person nor has he been portrayed as real person in meddia. Mickey.is not a part of our everyday lives or part of tradition. I've not heard that children believe he's real. I suggest Mickey being real is your choice. Why would the teacher know your tradition? We cannot expect other people to know and keep up a fantasy that is not a part of their lives.

Why is discovering Mickey as not a real person a problem?

Kids play with fantasy at this age. You can continue the fantasy in play. You can support your son by talking with him about what is real and what we wish to be real. Keep Mickey alive, as you wish to think of him with your son. If you want your son to continue thinking Mickey is magical, you can discuss how there are different believes.

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V.S.

answers from Reading on

You're "beside yourself"? Really? If this is rocking your world, I'm a little worried for what's coming in the next few years for your kid. Why did you never have the conversation with your kid that cartoon characters aren't real? That when one has something bad happen to them, it's just pretend? I kind of think she did your job for you, a job you should have done in the first place. I mean, how is she supposed to discuss literature if your kid believes all these characters are real? Sorry, but you set your kid up for disappointment and embarrassment, in my opinion.

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

What does your son say? Is he upset?

I know your situation began with Mickey Mouse, but it's really about your concern for your very young son has had to face some very real issue that most adults don't want to face.

So often we, as parents, are blindsided by the things that our kids say and do and the things that happen. I'm sure this really caught you off guard. I think asking him those questions was definitely the right way to approach it. I've found that when I'm caught off guard and don't know what to do, asking my kids questions really helps. It gives me a chance to hear more so I understand the situation a little better. It gives them a chance to talk a bit more and maybe even understand it better. It also buys me some time.

It's not easy when our little ones are hurting or feeling a loss. And that's really what we're talking about here. This hurt your son, and now you're hurting, too. Just keep listening to him and listening to your heart. Your heart will show you the way.

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T.D.

answers from Springfield on

my children have known that he is just a character. if you want him to have magic in his life then continur the santa, easter bunny and tooth fairy traditions. the movie "Rise of the Guardians" is a great one to watch and will spark the magic

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Is it possible a child said Mickey wasn't real, and the teacher was just dealing with it at school? I can't imagine why a teacher would just bring this up out of the blue. I know they are often dealing with discussions like this that come up between kids.

I get that Mickey and magic was something special in your household. Unfortunately once they're in school, this stuff happens - kids start saying so and so isn't real ... it's how you deal with it. I often say it's real for the kids who believe in magic. Otherwise their parents have to do the job (tooth fairy, etc.). Mine only gave up their beliefs when they were good and ready. Even after kids suggested Santa etc. weren't real.

I'm sure the teacher didn't intend harm so yes, maybe overreacting a bit - but we don't know your son's recent events or why this was so special for him.

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Wow at some point your kid actually thought Mickey was real? I mean he walks on two feet, wears clothes and kind of talks. The magic has nothing to do with whether Mickey is real or not.

Per your what happened, get a grip! He would believe for the same reason why you stop believing in the Easter Bunny long before Santa and the Tooth Fairy can outlive Santa.

If your son has been through so much do not cling to lies as support, cling to things that are real that he can believe in, things like you will never leave him. Even if you die you will not leave. My grandpa died when I was only 2 but even now I know he is around protecting me. This is something no one can take away. A stupid cartoon? Give me a break, that shouldn't have been mystical in the first place.

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K.A.

answers from San Diego on

From the very beginning we always told characters in cartoons aren't real and that characters are played by actors in costumes on TV shows. The kids have known forever that the characters at Disneyland are people in costumes. We do costuming ourselves. It is healthy that a kid is able to tell what is real and what is pretend.
With all of that said and with my kids knowing exactly what is going on, they see Mickey Mouse at Disneyland and that *IS* Mickey Mouse all the same. They haven't lost that wonder of childhood even though they know the truth. Heck, I'm almost 45 years old and I still see the actual Mickey Mouse standing there at Disneyland, standing in front of me and I for certain know the truth.

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

I don't think any child of this age really thinks that a giant mouse with 4 fingers and a voice is real. So I think this is really not a problem. This made sense to your child because he already really knew or suspected it anyway.

That doesn't mean there's no value to the fantasy. Kids this age are learning about dragons and tooth fairies and Santa and Easter bunnies. It's all a process, and they come to the realization little by little. I think it's very different if a teacher talks about Santa - that's somehow a little more realistic or at least possible to kids. But they know, on some level, that cartoon characters are just that - cartoons.

I'd let this go.

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T.P.

answers from Indianapolis on

I think this is different than Santa Claus. I don't think my daughter ever believed Mickey was real. Tell him he's right, Mickey is not real. He's a cartoon character and he is here for our entertainment. That shows kids don't freak out about learning what's real and what isn't like we think they will.

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I wouldn't have thought that a cartoon was real. Sorry he learned a sad thing.

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