What Would God Want Me to Do ??

S.,

Follow your instincts and what God has put in your heart. Sometimes we try to ignore that little voice inside as if it is our own thoughts, but really that is God answering you and it is not our own thoughts at all. Just keep praying about it and you will come upon the right decision.

I truly believe that God works through us in mysterious ways and we can make a difference in this world for others. There are many ways you can help the father of your child without sacrficing what your grandchildren need.

My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. Just keep God in your heart. He will always get you through.

He made his bed -I wouldn't give him another thought. If your son wants to help him so badly, well, he's a grown man so let him do it. As far as what God wants you to do -you'll get a different answer from everyone you ask. Sounds like God has already spoken (or karma or whatever you want to call it). I would NEVER let him back into my life or around the grandchildren you're raising. Do what YOU want to do and let God sort it out with him when he finally dies.

This man has brought you nothing but heartache, and continues to right now. If he has God in his heart, then God will help him. It is not up to you to enable this man any further (and that is what you would be doing). Chances are, he got Hep C from doing drugs, cirrhosis from drinking... he brought this on himself. It is nothing short of emotional extortion for him to say that he's going to give up and die in the streets if you don't help him. Encourage him to go to whatever church saved him, and let his pastor guide him toward the resources he needs right now. This is not your battle to fight.

S., I think the best thing you could do is help him get in touch with a social worker or someone where he is living now that could help him. You already have enough on your shoulders, caring for 2 grand children and helping a son who is disabled. I don't think you need to be taking on the added burden of an ex husband who obviously has SO many physical and emotional issues to deal with.
Don't let him manipulate you and make you think that you "owe" him anything!!! You owe him nothing....he was abusive and you did the right thing by escaping that. You can be kind and concerned but that doesn't mean you have to let him back into your life. You can set the barriers that you are comfortable with. Explain to your son, in the best way that he can understand, why you are only willing to do so much for his Dad.
Do you have a pastor that you can go to for advice and help with this? Maybe the pastor could be the go between to help your ex find the help that he needs.

Dear S., your son should NEVER gone behind your back and offered your home to his dad.
You can have compassion on him, and help him without having him in your home and bearing finacial responsibility for him.
Have your son look into financial and medical assistance for his dad.
I agree wholeheartely with Dyreka!

My heart goes out to you. You must have a lot of grace in your heart to be willing to do what God wants for a man who abused you to the point that you had to go into hiding. Please remember that having mercy and compassion on someone does NOT require you providing housing and money for them.
I am glad that your son's dad has turned his life around and I hope your son takes responsibility for his care.

I came out of an abusive marriage. I say no. for the reason of he "claims" he is sick. is this just a way to get back into your life and use you for your money and drugs. I am also a christian woman but I couldn't help my ex because he is so devious and decietful and full of lies. I think the "I want to die" is a guilt trip on you so he doesnt have to take responsibility for his own actions. NOw I would help him file for social security or what ever that is helping him but don't allow him in your house I think he is trying to manipulate you. this is from one abused wife to another. they don't change.

what if you got him there and he wasn't as sick as he claims. and he just used you for drug and alcolhol money. what if he wasn't as sick as he claims and started beating you again. I think its a hoax to avoid responsibility for his own actions. and if he is that sick he did it to himself. you didn't make him do it. he should have thought about it before he did it. :) I VOTE NO WAY. YOU will just have to explain to your son it may all just be a lie. and if it is he might start beating your son too who also can't defend himself. and the grandkids can't defend themselves to much at stake to risk. Sorry for his predicament but it is also his predicament not yours.

The hep C isn't contagious unless you share blood or sometimes sex. I know, my sister has it and has had it for 20 years.
As far as helping him, you could help without having this man in your home. Try to help him get some clothes, financial help, take him to dr. appts, etc. Raising 2 young ones in the home isn't a place for a previously abusive man to be housed. Do you have a pastor? Maybe you could get him some help through the church. And pray. Pray hard for him.

I would think there would have to be some kind of social services that are available to help really sick people like that. He needs medical care and I'm not sure you are equipped to deal with him. I think you should make some calls to social services to see what help you can find for him. Surely there must be somewhere they can house him and get him some medical attention. God would want you to do what you're capable of to help, but not at the expense of the small children you are caring for. You need to become educated on the issues he has and find out if he is getting medical attention anywhere. Does he get insulin for the diabetes? He really needs more help than you can give him, but please make some calls on his behalf and see if there is someone who is better equipped to help. Best of luck to you. This is a sad situation and I feel for you and your son.

This is definitely more than you can handle. His being in another state is a real problem. I think the only way you can help is to find services for him, either in Fl. or Tn. As an ex, you really can't apply for them on his behalf. Call your pastor if you have one, Adult Protective Services, Medicaid, and Social Security and ask how you can help. Be prepared for a long haul-- there are so many people in need right now. Any help you can give him will be appreciated. He's just a man who needs someone to care about him now. PS. Hepatitis C isn't contagious except blood to blood.

I'm not understanding why your son can't take him in... Is your son homeless? Does he have two small children living in his home? Is he barely making it financially with two children to support? If it's important enough to your son, then he can MAKE it happen. If he's got a roomate that won't allow it, then he can get his own place. If he's got a landlord that won't allow it, then he can get a different place. If he's got a wife that won't allow it, then he needs to ask her to go to counseling if she thinks she can make the rules without his input...etc....

I can feel compassion for your ex if he has truly accepted God into his heart and turned his life around, but you have to be practical too. Your first obligation is to your grandbabies. Their needs and safety have to come first. It may sound insular or freaked-out, but I wouldn't host anyone in my home with a communicable disease like that while I still had children living at home. I don't know enough about it, I'm not a trained medical professional and I wouldn't know for sure how to keep the babies safe from contracting the disease.

To answer your question directly, I personally believe that God would want your SON to assume responsibility for this. It's not your responsibility in His eyes unless your ex has NO other options because you are already burdened with small children. God would want your SON to refuse to add to your burden with this if he is essentially unburdened himself.

S.,
Stay strong! Keep praying! I'm glad you have forgave him in your heart, you are at peace with your marriage. However, this man did this to himself. I'm sure he's changed somewhat,, 28 years is a long time, probably is too old to beat like he use too, but if he changed his life and made GOD first he wouldn't be on the streets. You say he has cirrosis of the liver, is he an alcoholic? You've just been in contact with him the past 3 months when he's at rock bottom. I just feel like there is a bigger picture that you don't know about. You need to be honest with your son and let him know that you do love his dad in a way he cannot understand but you can take responsibility for him. And if you are talking to your ex, let him know you never said he could live with you. Be honest with everyone including yourself. I'm praying for you,
God Bless!

I think this is a very tough situation, but you need to really try and listen to God.
I don't think the mess he is in is your fault or your responsibility. Maybe your son can get online and try and pray to find him the right help. I had a family member with all of the health issues your ex has. My parents took care of him until he died. He had 3 ex wives and I don't believe any of them owed him anything.
Pray to find a facility to take care of him.
Good Luck!

I don't think he should live with you. Why bring up all the negative and emotional turmoil you have managed to get past. Your concern now is YOUR safety and the safety of your grandchildren you are raising.

I'm a believer of 'you make your bed, you lie in it"

That said, if you feel compelled to help. contact social services. Why won't your son take him in? Does he know something you don't?

I can't speak for God, so I'll offer my opinion instead. Take it for what it's worth.

He may certainly have God in his heart, but I really believe that God wants us to use our brains and hearts and resources to make good choices and decisions for ourselves. After all, I wouldn't turn away an ambulance if I were having a heart attack because I was already praying.

It is not your personal responsibility to care for this man. He is an adult who has made poor choices resulting in his current situation. He needs to now make some good choices so he does not have to live on the street and die alone.

There are a lot of services out there if people look for them.

How are you communicating with him, anyway, since he is homeless and you are 900 miles away?

If he has applied for disability, then he must have some sort of mailing address so you can mail him information/contacts points for help in his area. Be his "ambulance" by helping to hook him up with the right people/agencies/etc. "Helping" in this instance does not have to mean taking him in and feeding and clothing him.
Good luck!

If it were me, I would have to help him. I don't think I would have him in my house though.

My first thought is to see how you can help him without him living with you. Maybe see if you can find him a a case worker to see what he qualifies for.

I would be extremely concerned about allowing a stranger (since you have not known him twice as long as you were married to him) )into your home with young children.

It is good to help others and he is your sons father, but your priority right now are your grandchildren. Instead help your son and his father figure out how he can get help.

Follow your mommy heart and brain, it is a powerful safety alarm.
I am sending you strength.

Call human services and ask what sort of public assistance is available for him. I would ask specifically about MEDICAID, FOOD STAMPS, and TANF. I would also ask the human services people about applying for your ex-husband to get disability because it sounds like he would be medically unable to retain proper employment. It may be a lot of work, but it could allow you to help get him set up in a studio apartment and make sure his basic needs are at least being met.

God would likely want you to act compassionately, and responsibly where your ex-husband is concerned. Ask your son to help carry the burden of bringing his father a blessing.

I don't know about god, but I think you can find a way to help him withouit putting yourself or your grandchildren at risk.
Speak to your priest or pastor and let them help you help him.
Good luck!