What Should I Do When All I Hear Is "NO" from a Two Yr Old? I Am Lost!

One thing i believe helps is to reduce the use of the word No around the house for other things. "do you want pasta dor dinner?" "I think i'd rather have..." instead of the word NO.

Like when you get "i want chips", and responding with "no", instead try to say "i'd rather you had some fruit, oh it's so yummy, mmm.. maybe so yummy that mommy will eat them all, but if you like, i'll share with you!" then he thinks if he doesn't try what i'm raving about, he'll miss out on something good.

And when you get "no" to pick up your toys, or let's get undressed. instead of NO, don't take more toys out, or No don't make more of a mess, or NO we're getting a bath NOW. I say, Ok then, daddy and i are gonna be the GOOD kids and pick up because GOOD kids pick up their toys and get a reward! so we'll start and i'll say "daddy you're so NICE to help pick up, you should get a popsicle for helping..." and my son will JOIN RIGHT IN! so we cheer "YAY - THANKS BUDDY!" the proud smile on his face ROCKS!

With the bath, it's, "Oh if you aren't going to get a bath, then i'll have to have all the fun splashing and playing with the cups and bubbles all alone then.." maybe even hubby will chime in "Ohhh can i have a bath, that sounds fun!" and my son will be headed up the stairs in a heartbeat to start the water in the tub.

It's hard to cease all use of the word no, but we really try to reserve it for the bigs things like, NO HOT! and danger situations.

HONESTLY don't get me wrong, we use the word, just less lately. and we also try to say Uh Uh... or Please don't...instead.

BEST OF LUCK!! and know that it's the AGE... NOT YOU!

C.,
It's not you...it's typical 2 year old behavior! It's a tough time. Try a few good books--I've heard that 1-2-3 Magic is a good O.. Time outs never worked for my son at 2. Instead, try taking away a favorite toy for an hour or two. It definitely made a point with our son and put the power back on our side. We used to put our toy up on the fridge! Hang in there!

C. - You sound like me a few years back. I'm sure she is sensing your stress, but that there is no excuse for her talking back to you. When my children said no to me, I let them know they are allowed to have opinions and we aren't always going to agree but I am the mom and when I ask them to do something they need to do it. I used time outs and if that didn't work I would wait until they wanted something really bad and I would tell them NO and let them know that the way they were feeling was how mommy feels when they tell me NO. To help with some of your financial stress, I just read a book the "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey. WOW!!!! I highly recommend it. It is a great tool for getting out of debt. If you are looking for a business to start while you stay at home with your children, I would love to help you with that too. It has been a God-send for me and my family. You can email me at ____@____.com luck with your little one. I hope my experience helps you.

I would say this is typical 2 year old behavior. My daughter is the same age as yours. She is usually pretty cooperative but when she talks back to me, I remind her that she will be sent to timeout. She hates timeout so she is usually quick to comply.

My son is 3 1/2. The last several months have been pretty difficult. As I read the description of your daughter I honestly thought you were describing my son - tantrums, bossy behavior, talking back, junk food, etc. He has been getting a lot of timeouts and loss of privileges such as playing a cd at naptime/bedtime, watching a video in the car, playing his favorite games, etc. Most recently, playtime outside has been a big motivator as he loves to go outside. We discuss the reasons for the punishments and talk about how he could have donet things differently. We also talk about feelings. We do a lot of praising for appropriate behavior and special rewards like extra time outside when he behaves.

I hope this helps. I don't think you are doing anything wrong. I'm sure stress adds to her behavior, but from my experience she is at an age where the battle of the wills becomes more intense anyway. Hang in there. Be consistent with setting limits and consequences. Try to find what she really responds to. For examle, does taking certain privileges away improve her behavior or does she react better to accumulating smiley faces on a chart and receiving a reward? Good luck.

Hi,
I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you, I'm in the same boat you are. Except my daughter who just turned 2 doesn't say much yet, but knows the word "NO." I don't know what to do either. I hope you get some good advice, let me know how you make out, and Good Luck to you!!!!
C.