What Should a Grandma Wear to Her Grandson's Wedding?

Updated on October 02, 2017
B.J. asks from Thermal, CA
9 answers

My grandson is marrying the nicest girl and they are having a fancy wedding. Everything I have looked at so far , is either too young , too old or looks absolutely ridiculous on me. Any suggestions would be appreciative. I apologize if this question is not allowed.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Thank You to everyone ! I found a long black dress with roses all over it and a black boa!

Featured Answers


answers from Norfolk on

A nice pantsuit works well.
A little flashier for evening or a little under stated for afternoon - it's not difficult to look elegant and still be comfortable.


3 moms found this helpful

More Answers


answers from Dallas on

I'm sure there is something out there that you will feel comfortable in and will work for the event. It's HARD to find the right thing right away. Don't give up!

Have you talked with the bride about colors, if she might like you to coordinate, etc? Most of the time I think a grandparent does their own thing but it can't hurt to bounce ideas off with her if you have that type of relationship.

Figure out what styles make you feel better, there are long flowing pants that often look like a long dress.

My suggestion would be to meet with a personal stylist. It's amazing what they can see when you can't! When I need "the" dress, Neiman Marcus has never failed me. I have a friend at Whit House Black Market.. she calls me when she gets something in she thinks is "me". I go try it on.., sometimes I never would have looked twice at the item on a hangar.

Try on what is suggested. You may be surprised.

Good luck to you and I hope you find something that makes you feel amazing and proud!! Have fun!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from Boston on

I think you should consider going to a really good department store like Lord & Taylor or Neiman Marcus, and asking for help. They have staff to help you - and don't be afraid to say which things they suggest are too old or too young for you as a way to guide them. I like using a store like that - the personal shopped know what's in stock, and once you get in the dressing room, they're great at taking away what you don't want or grabbing something you like but in a better size. That saves a lot of time and aggravation since you don't have to get dressed, take your first bunch of things back out, and start over. It's such a great benefit.

It's hard to suggest anything to you without knowing your height, general style preferences (like what exactly looked "ridiculous" on you?) and also the specifics on the wedding. You don't want to show up the bride of course, but you might check to see if this is a family that's really determined to manage colors for family members. Usually that stops with the mothers of the bride & groom and doesn't extend to grandparents, but you seem concerned about your situation, so I think it might makes sense to talk to your child who is the parent of the groom.

You can also go with something very simple and tailored - a long black skirt if you can find one, and a very dressy top. You can also go with a more classic top and then accent it with dressy jewelry (costume jewelry is fine unless you have something more that's important to you). You could also go for long pants in a nice fabric, again with a dressy top. It doesn't have to be a pantsuit with both pieces matching, unless you like that and find one that can be dressed up rather than looking like business attire. Those separates can serve you well for future uses too. You have to think beyond the fluorescent lights of the fitting room and look at what will look very different in the evening in a hotel or function room. Ask the staff if it's okay to go out into the main part of the store to use a better mirror. And, if necessary, it's okay to buy 2 things to take home and try on, returning the one you don't want after you see them in different light. It's expensive in the short run and it means a 2nd trip out to make the return, but it might help you think on your selections and not feel pressured to decide in the store.

Have you gone to bridal shops and looked at grandmother/mother of bride/groom selections? Sometimes they mark up the prices, but sometimes you can get a really good deal and find the perfect thing too!

Good luck. Hope it's a great wedding!

4 moms found this helpful


answers from San Antonio on

A lot depends on if it is a day or evening wedding and the location...country club, art museum or inside vs outside location and the month of the year. And the biggest would be your height and body type.

I Googled "grandmother of the groom dresses" and it linked me to pintrest and there were hundreds of ideas. Go on and look through some of them...if you give us a bit more information I might be able to help more.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Springfield on

You should wear a nice dress or pant suit that makes you feel good!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

We just ran into this as well - my daughter got married in August, and both my mom and I struggled to find something that was "appropriate." I got lucky and two of my daughters (one being the bride) picked my dress for me since we found one at the same bridal shop that she purchased her dress. My mom (grandma of the bride) was a little more difficult.

My mom and I decided that she could either get the same style dress as the rest of the wedding party (we all had long dresses), a sheath dress with a jacket, or a pantsuit. My mom wanted to have the long dress like the rest of us. We then went online to Nordstrom Rack to start looking. We did find something that worked well with the colors and style of the wedding for a very reasonable price. Our back up option was to go to a bridal shop and look at some dresses there.

I think that first determining the style of dress that will work well for the wedding pictures is important. Second, find out what color you need to find it in - we looked for a not too busy pattern that incorporated the bridesmaids color and my color of dress. Third, I asked my mom to pick one thing about the dress that was most important to her - for her, she doesn't like bare arms. Once I had the basic color scheme, the dress style, and one thing she needed the dress to have to feel comfortable, I was able to run some filters on my computer to locate a really great dress under $75 (the price was a luck out, though, since it was getting to be end of wedding season and summer by the time we got my mom's dress).

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi B., what you wear is completely and finally determined by the venue, style, formalness, casualness, etc....of the wedding itself.

I know you said it's fancy but I'm going to answer this like I don't know that. So you can look at it from a different perspective.

For instance, if it's in a church that is conservative and stoic and you wear a bright green halter dress with a huge poufy skirt, you'd stand out like a gangrene thumb and look a fool. If you wore a pair of jean shorts and an old worn out tee shirt you'd be just as out of place too.

If the wedding was on a beach and they both wore white street clothing then you showed up in a formal floor length suit with high heels you'd look out of place.

So please step back and look at the details of the service and any follow up receptions or parties.

How formal is it? Are you wearing a floor length dress? Beading? Not that formal?

Has the bride suggested a color or style to you? Ask her, ask the groom, he's your family, he can ask for you. What about the mother of the bride? Or even the groom's parents. There should be people you can ask that is not the bride. She's probably swamped at this point.

If the female parents of the bride and groom are wearing formals then you could wear an understated formal. If they are wearing church clothes then you'd be okay wearing similar clothing but think about fading into the background. It's their day and you really don't want to be noticed and take away their attention.

If the bridal party is wearing casual or themed clothing then you might try to dress in that same style of the other attendees are also doing that. I went to a country themed wedding one time and everyone had on jeans and shirts and boots, I had on a jean skirt, a cute top, and heels. I fit in because I also had on denim and a top but I wasn't all the way in the theme. I love to dance country and western style, I have a few trophies from back in the day... If I had worn a fancy dress or a suit or even church clothes I'd have felt like I was standing out and drawing attention. I don't own a pair of jeans so my denim skirt was the thing I wore.

I fit in without being too different.

My cousin's daughter had a destination wedding. In Italy. They had about 20 family members and friends join them. The ladies wore...garden style dresses? You know, floral, floaty/flowy, and lightweight fabrics and they all wore lovely, simple, bigger hats. The kind with wider brims and low domes on top.

The photographs are just darling!

You need to look at many things before you can decide which way to go. If it were me, a formal wedding, I would probably make sure it's okay first but I'd wear something in the darkest color from the wedding colors or a blending color that didn't clash, in a softer fabric, that didn't cling or show off my shape very much, and I'd probably buy something that had 3/4 sleeves or a light jacket with it, and probably not floor length, maybe tea length, but likely just below the knee.



answers from Portland on

Typically, I've seen dresses or pant suits - either flowy or dressy or structured - depending on what you are most comfortable with and how fancy an affair it is. If you Google grandmother wedding attire you will see examples and you could go from there.

If it's a dress, a lot of them come with little matching jackets - that's what I am used to seeing.

Also depends on the locale - recently saw pics from a destination wedding and the grandmothers in attendance wore simple flowing dresses because of the heat.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions