What Is Happening to Me?.....

Please find a support group. Lupus is bad, but my aunt lives with that for 20 years more and she is the most vibrant talkative person I've ever met. She still take some vacations and enjoy her life with her children, and grandchildren. So,don't let lupus make you down!! Fighting!!

Call 1800 ###-###-#### now. Breathe, and put off suicide right now. You do not have to do this now. Call the number and talk to someone now.

Please update us here ASAP and tell us that you called the hotline number a person gave below. You need professional help right NOW.

Please, please update us so we know you are OK for tonight at least.

Your husband needs a serious talk with your doctor. Your doctor must tell him that you ARE "normal" and that your husband is utterly wrong to be angry with you for having a condition you cannot help. Your sister also is ignorant and not aware that lupus is not contagious and not on your deathbed either. The level of willful, cruel ignorance of both of them is shattering, but YOU know better and can get past this, but please -- do not wait, call someone now, and tomorrow call your doctor for a referral to a therapist who specializes in helping people with chronic conditions like lupus.

You are in our thoughts!

Please get help. Call a hotline or your doctor and get things off your chest. Your medication could be making you feel depressed, some have that side affect. You need immediate assistance with the feelings of desperation you are having right now.

You also, in my opinion, should be seeing a therapist to help you deal with your diagnosis and how to deal with your family's dynamic.

I'd also like to tell you that I know many people with Lupus and it is not a death sentence, by any means. It is possible to manage symptoms and continue to have a happy, active, and productive life.

Get help. Really. Don't put it off.

Best wishes.

S.-

HUGE cyber hugs to you!

More and more strides are being made...and folks 'challenges' are being dealt with as ongoing issues...

A change in medicine here...a therapist there...better eating...more exercise...etc....

I was glad to read your 'update' immediately after your question...

Please know I am sending healing thoughts and prayers your way....

Wish I were closer!

Best Luck!
michele/cat

What's happening to you is you've been diagnosed with a serious disease and your family is being insensitive, to say the least.
Please call your doctor as well as the hotline someone listed below, they will have resourses for you and will know just what to do.
Is there a chance your husband doesn't understand the depth of your despair? If that may be the case a heart to heart is in order. Tell him just what you said here. OCD and lack of sex (I mean REALLY??!!) are not on the same level as being diagnosed with Lupus.
That being said I understand they have made a lot pf progress in treating that disease the last few years. Getting your symptoms under control should be you whole family's priority right now.
Make those two calls right now. Then put the kids in front of a movie and have a sit down with hubby.
Please remember that you have every right to feel low but there is help within your reach. Hang in there!

I am so sorry. **MASSIVE HUGS** Your feelings are probably a combination of all the things you listed piling up on each other and it's probably not letting you have the room you need to adjust to this new situation.

Your condition should be overshadowing your husband's OCD and his lack of sex along with whatever is going on with your sister at least until you are all figure out how this diagnosis fits into your lives. IMO, they are being a bit selfish and you have every right to feel angry. Your husband is probably a bit scared too, so that may play a part in his feelings of anger.

Wishing you the best.

Can you just leave the house and check into a hotel for a few days and nights? I wish you could. Your sister is an alien from another planet - I swear. Does she think lupus is contagious? What a stupid thing for her to say. The best thing you can do is ignore her.

Your husband is not handling the reality of his wife having a chronic condition. I am so sorry. Look, your health is more important than pursing sex with him. And ANY husband who would yell at his wife and his kids is not only going to not have her pursing him for sex - he's not going to GET any! Don't put up with this. Tell him if he wants to have ANY intimacy with you, he will stop acting like this.

S., call your doctor and tell him what is going on in your house. I think that he would be happy to have a conversation with your husband.

I'll be saying prayers for you, S..

Dawn

I wish i could come right over and fix every thing. keep holding on!!

(((((HUGS))))

Hold on, sweetie. You can do it.

Please update us - we are so concerned about you right now...

Lupus is by no means a death sentence! OCD gets worse when you feel out of control. He probably wishes he could fix your problems and he can't, which makes one feel frustrated, especially men. Maybe counseling would help both of you learn how to deal with it and your emotions? Hugs and happy mother's day. Things will be fine one way or another, it will just take some work and time.

Take many deep breaths. Then make a list of everything that's causing these feelings. Then make two separate lists. One of the thing(s) you can have control over and one of everything else. Then pick one thing that you can affect and write a list of what you can do. THen pick on thing that you can do and do that.

This will break down these seemingly unmanageable conditions to something you can do and this will help you feel less paniced.

I agree that you need to find counseling. Your doctor can point you in the direction of a support group and therapist. Because it's related to lupus your health insurance should pay for it.

Not knowing your support system I suggest that you leave home for a few days and stay with a warm and supportive friend or family member.

Also do call the suicide prevention hotline or a crisis hotline for support. They can also refer you to others who will be helpful.

Lupus is not a death sentence. It may shorten your life but you can have many years of living left to you. Ask your doctor for literature talking about lupus that you can read and pass around to family.

You need to telephone your doctor's on-call staff, as well as a suicide prevention hotline and/or 911.

Stupid a@@ men...get rid of him and to hell what your sister thinks or says....call social services and let them help you gain your peace of mind..maybe by getting emergency Section 8. I feel for you and I can't imagine what you are going thru.

HI S.,

I just saw your update and then I went back to see your original post. I want you to know that, in addition to all the kind words of support you have received, there is nutritional help with lupus (and depression, and your husband's OCD!). I have done so incredibly well and am almost off my anti-depressants. I have colleagues who have had great results with anxiety (I assume that's what your Xanax is for), and I've worked with a woman who has lupus, IBS, arthritis, Reynaud's Syndrome and osteoporosis. She's doing great. You're not on your deathbed and there is hope - you can't get rid of the lupus but you can keep it from getting worse and minimize the symptoms. I'd be happy to help when/if you are able to focus. I know you are in the throes of a recent diagnosis and some family nonsense, and that stress is really doing a job on you. Please know that there is help available that will work with, not against, your doctors and your meds. Hang in there and reach out whenever you are ready!

S. you need to take a walk around the block a few times. Take a breath of fresh air. Get an ipod listen to your favorite music. You need to realize how important you are. As soon as you get positive then the energy will flow.. It sounds crazy but it is true. Also, See if you can get into Yoga. It will relax u and take your mind off of the stress at home.
Don't let people get to you. You created your beautiful kids and everyone is just stressing around you. If you step back and take a breather everything will work out. I would call your doctor and explain how you are feeling maybe meds are not for you. This is just advice try it.
Think of your kids.. They need you and believe it or not your entire family needs you. Family is a pain in the neck but, we have to deal with it.
Keep telling yourself you are a good person.
see if a neighbor is home and maybe she could walk with you.

It's not ur fault u have lupus I have it of the skin and my partner n I are going through a no sex time because of a yeast blister reaction from meds. There's other things u can do to ease your self into having sex with hubbie too which is using ky n things like that. But if ex going to be yelling n not asking u feel good than I would bother. He needs to get a grip it's not s sexually transmitted debases your not contagious it's actually hereditary so someone else in ur family carries the gene. So ur mom n sister are divots n so is ur husband once they realize there asinine behavior there gonna regret it. Just think positive they just learned about it breath give t time to snk n do ur research past dr. Feel better it really s not the end of the world n I feel for ur kids n u that ur husbands an in considerate Jekyll. Have a tester day!