Seeking Moms Who Can Help

Updated on January 19, 2009
S.G. asks from Pocatello, ID
29 answers

My 9 year old son has suicidal tendencies please help me?

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So What Happened?

Went to docs appt today.Explained about what is going on showed him the pics that he drew.Teachers note about how things go at school. Doc said "Take him off meds also see a phycologist and physchiatrist" Starts his first consuling session on Monday see phyciatrsist on Tues. Keep you posted

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J.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I have heard that young onset of BiPolar can have similar symptoms to ADHD. Or, his frustration in not being able to control himself with the AHDH could cause depression. Either way, he needs some professional help. Talk to his pediatrician and get a referral for a counselor who is very experienced in dealing with children in these situations. Don't delay .... do it right away.

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C.H.

answers from Denver on

Psychiatrist. Not "therapist" or "psychologist". Today.

Good luck to you. This is serious. Don't waste a bunch of time asking non-professionals for advice.

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J.L.

answers from Denver on

Get him off any medicine with your doctor's help. Often times the side effects can and do include suicidal thoughts. There are natural ways to cope with ADHD and other situations. Go to mercola.com and get with a nutritionist ASAP. Chiropractic adjustments also help balance hormone levels which ultimately have influence over the way we think and feel. Do something quickly... this is a VERY serious matter. It would be tragic if your child hurt himself or another human. Be brave and do everything you can to help him.

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J.P.

answers from Las Vegas on

If he is on Ritalin, get him off now. There are other ways to deal with ADHD. Remember the murders of Columbine, Thoses boys were all on Ritalin. It makes them crazy. Start giving him more vegies, the greener the better. He needs to drink a lot of purified water to flush out the toxins. He also needs to talk to a professional today! I understand your concern, I have a daughter very depressed as a young girl. I waited because I didn't know what to do, she developed an eating disorder, and starving herself was the plan. DOn't let this happen, there is help.

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A.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Get him in for help NOW! Find your local Behavioral Health center. They should have someone on call 24/7. I have been working for a Behavioral Health center for 8 years (clerical work). They take this stuff very serious. If you think anyone, especially your son, is at risk for harm to self or others you get them in right away. Even if you don't think he'll "act" on these tendencies, you don't want to joke around with stuff like this. Good luck! Hang in there! If you can't find a local behavioral health center you can take him to any hospital emergency room.

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D.S.

answers from Denver on

You need to take your son to a Doctor ASAP!!! This is serious and should not be taken lightly. Please get your son professional help first before you ask friends. The rate of suicide in this country is getting younger all the time. Take care of yourself and your son. May G-d watch over you both

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J.K.

answers from Denver on

I agree with the other moms who have stated that your son needs professional help immediately! If he is suicidal, you need to take him to the ER right away. He should be evaluated by a child psychiatrist to determine the cause of this symptoms and appropriate treatments which may include medications and/or therapy. Please do no hesitate. This is a very serious situation and you clearly do not want to put your son in danger.

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

Unless anyone on here has a medical degree, I really strongly suggest you get him in to talk to someone ASAP.

Get on board school administrators and counselors, your Pedatrician and get recommendations to see therapists. Changing his diet isn't going to help a child in serious depression especially with suicidal thoughts. Please seek help, go to your county or city govt offices if you need assistance but don't wait a minute and it isn't for anyone on here to guide you how to help unless they are doctors.
Sorry but this is serious and not a random mom question!
Good luck And God Bless.

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K.B.

answers from Denver on

I agree with some of the other comments about getting him off his medications and changing his diet. Remove all white flour/processed food/high sugar foods from his diet. Obviously, do not take him off meds without medical supervision. I am going to give you the website of an alternative dr that may be able to help your son. Please call him and talk to him. It is worth it! www.acuallergy.com

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R.S.

answers from Denver on

S., You need to help your son find a professional psychologist--that he feels comfortable talking to! He must feel comfortable with the psychologist, that is one of the most important factors in contributing to successful therapy (according to research as of 2000--I worked as a college professor in psychology).

If you can find a psychiatrist he likes that would be good, because psychiatrists have a medical degree and understand some of the intricities of the medicine better. However a psychologist will work with a psychiatrist to figure out his medicine situation, so a psychiatrist is not necessary. Don't do anything drastic besides finding him help! Call you pediatrician today and make an appt for today to get a referral....Talk to the nurse and explain what is happening.

Hang in there!
R.

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S.R.

answers from Provo on

Get him in to see a therapist. And then possibly even medication for a short time. There are child therapists that deal with this sort of thing and they can help!

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H.R.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Speaking from the perspective of someone who has been exactly where your son is, I have to say that you need to get him some help immediatly. His school can counciler can recommend people in your area that specialize in kids with ADHD. I know it can be hard to see the world through his eyes, especially if he is the only one in your family who has ADHD. Out of the myself and my three siblings, I was the only one with the hyperactivity. Two of my siblings had ADD. It really feels like you are stupid and lazy, and even crazy because you cant (especially as a kid) control yourself. Kids around you who realize that your behavior is out of the norm avoid and ridicule you for being different. Teachers who dont understand the problem give you a hard time because you arent doing or behaving the way you are expected to. Even parents can add to the problem. I know all of this from experience. One thing that you can do is tell him several times that you love him just the way he is. That will go a long way to helping him see his selfworth. I am now almost 30, so there is hope that he can have a good life. Talk to his doctor as well. I dont know if you give him medication, but he may need it for a while, if only to allow him the opportunity to know what it feels like to be on a more even keel. If he is on meds, he may need a different dose. Good luck, and if you believe in a higher power, pray for your son and with your son.

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N.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

HI S.,
if your son has ADHD and is taking meds. the meds that he is on might be making him have these suicide tendanceies. I would talk to your doctor and tell him that the meds that he is on might be making him have suicide tendancies. the meds might be making depressed. get him some antidepressant meds it might help. but I wish I could help you out more. hope this helps you out. Good luck.

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

Dear S.,

I read about someone using a Miracle Belt (I think it was something like that) for their son who had ADHD and they had very positive results with it. I would Google it to get more info. I wish now I had cut out the article but it did stick in my mind. My heart goes out to you and your children. There is help out there so keep looking.

Sincerely,
Dee

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M.C.

answers from Denver on

You have got to get your child help. There's nothing that anyone on mamasource that can tell you other than that. He needs professional therapy, and all you can do in the mean time is make sure he gets that and give him as much love as you can in the process.

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J.R.

answers from Salt Lake City on

What medications or natural remedies do you give him to help with his ADHD? Sometimes the medication can be contributing. You need to talk to your DR and a mental health professional. CHADD (http://www.chadd.org/) is a good resource for more info on dealing with children who have ADD & ADHD. Check their resources for support groups and possibly even names of providers who specialize in what you need help with.

Prayers to you!

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P.D.

answers from Missoula on

If he attends school have you tried his school counselor? Teacher? Principal? Clergy? The may be able to find you assistance. Please get him some help and try to find a way to get yourself some support as soon as you can. My thoughts are with you.

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J.B.

answers from Provo on

Speaking from a personal perspective....I've been suicidal since I was about 8. I am now 25 and I still have suicidal thoughts. My parents thought I was just acting out. They took me to a nature path doctor to see if I was lacking vitamins. They took me to a normal doctor to get on depression pills and they sent me to a counselor whom I didn't even want to talk to so that didn't help.

Not to make you worry anymore than you already are, but I was sexually molested by my older half-brother from 6 years to about 12 years old. My biological mother left my dad and abandoned me when I was 3...I saw her off and on until I was 10. My dad remarried when I was 6 to a huge b****. I couldn't talk to her about anything. She was always mad at me for something. I had to walk on eggshells around her. She made my biological mom stop seeing me when I was 10. She kept phone calls and birthday cards sent to me by my biological mom from me. When I started my period, she made me ride my bike to the store to buy my own pads/tampons. She wouldn't even pay for them, so I used my $$ from babysitting. So maybe something traumatic has happened in your son's life that he won't talk about...

I didn't want to see a counselor, so when they took me to counselor, I didn't really say anything. I wanted to say something about being sexually molested, but it was a guy counselor and how ebarrassing for a young girl...right?

I finally told one of my neighbor's who was my young women's leader at the time. Her husband was a counselor and her husband told my parents that I was lying about the whole thing since my body language suggested I was not traumatized. So then they sent me to live with my Aunt for the summer, but the summer turned into the rest of high school.

I have periods of depression where I feel that I'm not good enough to be a mom/wife/supervisor at work. Recently a rumor went around my workplace that I was having an affair with my boss. I went ballistic as I am already for sensitive to anything that has to do with sex from being molested. My boss had been training me to be a supervisor so we were spending a lot of time together, but not like that. He is like 60...totally gross as I am 25. So then I went into a deep depression as I felt that none of my coworkers believed me about not having an affair (repeat of what happened with my parents) and so I have quit supervising all together because I was having suicidal thoughts, horrible depression, anxiety attacks over nothing, etc. (Now I just work as a mail carrier for a local post office).

Suicidal thoughts have never gone away for me. One my step-mom told me that "if you haven't done it by now, you're too much of a coward to do it"...referring to suicide.

I think you and your husband need to be the most loving, supportive, parents there are to your child. You need to see if he will open up and talk to you about what is going on. Is he being bullied, molested, humiliated on a daily basis?

Don't force your son into counseling if he isn't ready. It will just make him feel different from everyone else. But if and when you do do counseling, make sure the counselor is the same gender as your child.

I have been married to the most wonderful, supportive man for 5 years and we have a 3 1/2 year old daughter.

My biological mom is Schizophrenic/Bipolar...I am sure I am bipolar but not sure if I want to go on medication as I learned from by judgemental stepmom that being fat people are horrible, lazy people...so I am basically afraid of any medication in fear that it will make me fat. It is a stupid fear, but a very real fear.

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C.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

If your child is on meds I would talk to a doctor and find out if there are natural remedies and how to safely get your kid off drugs. If he is on meds then that is probably why he is suicidal. His mind is altered daily by these drugs. Everyone is unique, some people are more hyper than others and learn things in different ways. Just because your child has difficulty focusing in school doesn't mean they have to be given medication, there are other solutions. I think society thinks there is a pill for everything. How about we are all different and unique in our own ways, and we need to adapt our schools to accomodate all children. Educating our kids isn't one size fits all, we need to recognize peoples differences. My husband has "ADHD", he was a handful and a child, and adult!! Doctors and teachers all said he needed to be on medication, he refused, thank goodness...and he has learned to channel his energy into hobbies and activities. He is so smart but he doesn't learn things in a traditional way, he is very hands on. Anyway embrace your son, help him live a natural and healthy life with lots of love and get him involved in some extra curricular activities to keep his mind busy.

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T.R.

answers from Colorado Springs on

Hello.. Its very serious situation with ur son.. Its depend on where u live.. If u live in Colorado Springs.. Then u can call Cedar Springs and They can help and deal with him.. Or call the doctor and tell them about your sons threaten life.. Its very important... I'm praying for him...

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S.H.

answers from Denver on

Oh, S., my heart is with you. I'm sorry you are facing this and I can imagine it must be so painful and frightening for you. Know that we are always here to listen.
I think I would find some couseling help for your son. There is a great resource called HeartBeat, which is a support group for suicide survivors; however, they also have resources to help you and your son. Here is their number ###-###-####. Please call them--I know they can help!
Big hugs and a full heart,
S.

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K.D.

answers from Denver on

Get help right away. If you call 1-800-New-Life, they can put you in touch with someone right away. We'll be praying for you. You might also check out www.interactivemetronome.com at a quiet moment. It can do wonders for taking away ADHD.

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D.G.

answers from Cheyenne on

Contact a professional ASAP. If finances are a factor, look in your phone book for a hotline number, they can refer you to a free or reduced fee service and will be able to counsel you on how to proceed. Good luck, godspeed.

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J.M.

answers from Provo on

I agree with taking him off any medications, but very, very slowly and with a doctors help. These kinds of medications are extremely dangerous, never stop them cold turkey! They work by blocking signals in the brain that are trying to tell you something is wrong. Those signals only get stronger and stronger which is why the meds are always needing to be adjusted and why there is a greater risk of suicide the longer a person is using them. If you miss a dose you risk having the brain being flooded with an overload of negative signals, which can be a suicidal amount. I also agree with changing his diet to more of a plant based one, preferably 90% fresh plant based foods. If you are able to stay at home with him I would suggest taking him out of school immediately. Begin to homeschool him. He needs love and positive attention all day long, not only for a few hours in the evening and on weekends. Any negative socializing he gets at school will only exacerbate this situation, and his life is not worth that risk. If his father is around he needs to spend more quality time with him, too. If he isn't, try to get a close, adult male family member to fill in that time. Building quality family relationships is a key factor in helping him through this. Also, surround him with positive influences. Monitor any TV/computer/game consul/music time so that you know what he is being influenced by. We will certainly keep you in our thoughts and hearts.

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C.W.

answers from Provo on

Is he on medication for his ADD? Sometimes this can cause suicidal tendencies. I believe this child would benefit greatly from some good therapy. Suicide is nothing to play around with. I know an excellent therapist if you live in the Utah valley. Send me a personal email if you would like her name. She is the most compassionate, yet knowledgable person I have ever known.

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S.L.

answers from Pueblo on

S.,

Have your son evaluated by a doctor asap. What are some of his tendencies? Hang in there because I know how scary that can be.

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J.H.

answers from Fort Collins on

S., I am so sorry you and your family is going through this.
You have had a lot of support here.
I just wanted to say I agree with the first person and I mentor at risk youth. Alot of the times the child needs someone they can talk to, trust, and feel comfortable with other then parents. Then the right help can be saught. There are alot of community resources out there.
I also struggled with traumatic depression as a child. Now I am very happy with life after years of self exploration into my past.
Good luck
Jenn

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K.E.

answers from Denver on

I am so sorry to hear about your family. Get help immediately. If you cant get him into physiatrist and he has attempted anything to hurt himself take him to the ER. If he is the boy with ADHD also know that ADHD can be misdiagnose when he could be bipolar. If this is the case he may be on the wrong meds. Also the best thing you can do is take him seriously ( every emotion is intense and very real) and remind him how much he is loved. (which I am sure you do) I come from a family of bipolar people. I feel for you and your family. Just know you are not alone and you are a good mom and he is a wonderful child. With help and most likely meds he can live a healthy fulfilling life.

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M.B.

answers from Denver on

Wow mom, that is scary! Your son's school might be a good resource for guidance, referals to counseling. If finances are tight you may qualify for need based services. Also your local library for books on child behavior. Do you think this is serious or is he trying to get something? What's happening at home, is something different? Is he on meds for the ADHD? Maybe that is affecting his moods, have you looked in to that? Hang in there mom!

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