Was Planning on SAHM, Now Company Wants to Offer Me Options

I am a SAHM of a 5 and 2 yr old and would not change a thing!! I got to see all of their "firsts" and I feel as though a parent should be home with their children. Yes it is hard and we never get a "vacation" but I would not have it any other way! I do not believe all the talk about how if you take time off that you can not get back into the force when ready. I plan on staying home until the younger one is in school and then go back as a full time sub or something and still do my cake business from home. I will say that staying home allowed me to realize my passion for baking and open my own business from home. Maybe look into something like that, or see how much they would be willing to work with you to stay home as much as possible. Just remember it is possible to stay at home, you just have to get creative! BUT IT IS WORTH IT!!

Well, you can always quit if they start to expect full time work. If you accept the position, make it clear to them you are willing to stay on those terms only.

Can I tell you how jealous I am? I would love to get back to work.

I think the previous advice of thinking about your long-term goals (do you eventually want to get back into the workforce) is important. When I had a newborn and a 1.5 yr. old, I freelanced -- had the newborn at home with me and the 1.5 went to daycare. By 6 months, this no longer worked, and both now go to daycare (2+4). We basically need almost full-time care to cover my part-time hours, so my salary has just a little leftover after daycare costs, but we're looking at it as a long-term proposition -- they won't need daycare forever, and I keep my foot in the workforce. I run errands, cook & grocery shop in my off hours, so I feel like the time with the kids is pretty quality. I also really do like my job and interacting with people, going to an office, etc., so that makes a big difference as well. Good luck in any decision you make!

A., at the very least let them offer you something. Don't feel like being at home so many days a week means you should make half of what you did. You are still a worthwhile employee, even if your work days at home are not make as productive. Let them offer you something and see if it's going to work for you..Dont concede to less money off the bat. Depending on what type of job you do, you can be even more productive at home, no travel, etc..At least you can try it for a while, maybe a few months and then decide you really do want to stay home. Just take your time, if you want the income/like your job, give it some time, at least you can earn a good living and maybe really have both! Good luck!

A.,

My first company accomodated me with 2 mornings from home (8-12) and the rest of the week, regular days in the office. I was on the phone a lot and it was getting very tough, plus after 5 months, my boss started to pressure me to come back full time and be in the office those 5 days. This was a small company, my ex-boss knew me for years, but for him it was hard to accept the fact that I was actually working, as he needed that day to day contact with me. I became very overwhelmed with the set-up and eventually quit. I was dissapointed as I felt like he didn't trust me enough to honor me with that set-up long-term, plus it was a small firm and my presence was critical.
Now, I work for a company that tolerates the same arrangement: 2 days from home for 4 hours and 3 days out of the office. They rarely call me at home, but we do communicate via Instant Messenger. It really depends on your line of work and if you could have the flexibility of getting things done when your baby goes down for a nap? My son is a wonderful napper, or I can always work on some things after he goes down at night. I say, it definitely is worth a try! Good luck!

You are fortunate to have this choice!

Like another mom said, what are your long-term goals? If you see yourself returning to work eventually, you should give this arrangement your best effort. Unless you have a low-skill, entry level job, it is difficult to walk completely away and come back 5-10 years later. Plus, you never know what surprises life will throw you. Your husband could lose his job, something god forbid could happen to him, you just never know.

I assume you are not under contract? If that is the case, there is nothing stopping you from quitting if it doesn't work out. Wouldn't it be better to try it out and know for sure you are making the right choice? I think it would be better than living with the "what if" if you never gave it a shot...

I know a lot of mothers work from home and it works for them. Unfortunately, it didn't work for me. I tried working from home half of my week but most of my work consisted of talking on the phone with employees/companies. I found it impossible to have effective coversations while my son was wining or with Elmo playing in the background (which was a very high percentage of the time). Inevitably, my mother had to come over those days so in fact, I wasn't really with my son anyway. Plus as babies get older they require/demand more attention which only complicates the situation. I would walk away from him and although he was with my mom, he'd cry and scream because I left. Even though I was in the house, he wanted to be with me because he knew I was there.

I would say it would greatly depend on the type of work you're doing. If you can actually get work done and be with your baby, then do it. It can never hurt to try. However, if you can run your household on 1 income and be home with your child FT then I think that's the best option. Our children are only small once and you can always go back to work when they're not anymore.

Good luck with your decision! I know it's tough but I'm sure the one you make will be the best.

S.

My company did the same thing - I asked for what I wanted and they gave it to me. It doesn't hurt to put it out there on the table. What is worse thing that will happen? They say no -and then you consider what they counter offer and if you can make it work great. I just decided to "go for it" and be totally honest with them about that I needed/wanted and it worked out. Good Luck,

I think it's wonderful that your company is giving you this opportunity. Why not ask for what you want, but let them bring up salary. Will you be doing the same job? What duties will you have, or give up? Will they call you on your days off or expect you to check voice and email? You might need to be flexible on those off days if there is a big project or deadline you have to meet.

Your cow-orkers will have to deal with whatever your boss decides. The complainers will complain and some people will be jealous, but you just ignore them all.

Give it a trial run and see. Let us know how it works out.

Since my first child was born nearly five years ago, I have worked 20 hours a week. Many coworkers are jealous, but I remind them that I only get paid for a half-day, so I'm not really getting by with anything. I really enjoy being able to get out and interact and make money. The biggest consideration, i think, is if you take the part-time position and are forced to now pay for childcare, will the new cost balance the income that you will be bringing in? Some people's salary barely covers childcare and I don't think that makes sense. Why work to pay someone else to take care of your child? My husband works evenings so we don't have any childcare costs, its all extra money for us. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I agree with getting the terms laid out in advance. And if it doesn't work out you can quit. If you can go into the office for 2 days a week, I would recommend that. The interaction is important and sometimes I find that companies are not as understanding about working from home. Or you could try one day a week at home and one in the office.

I would also clarify what happens if you end up working more than the hours agreed to. The last thing you want is to have your salary cut and then work the same hours.

Also, you might want to suggest a trial period - say three months and then discuss if the arrangement is working out for both of you. That will also let you get a handle on how many hours you really are working and correct anything before it goes on too long.

Good luck.

It does sound like the best of both worlds:) I am a SAHM of 28 month boy/girl twins and I love being home with them. I would work two days a week in a heartbeat just to get some adult interaction and a sense of accomplishment. It is very difficult staying home all the time . Your life revolves around them .I wouldn't trade it but I know it is better for you and the child if you have a balance. Too much of anything can be difficult. So I say work at home part time which will keep your sanity and your place in the workforce. Your child will be going to school before you know it!Good luck!

I just read your request, I believe you will be very happy with your decision. I love being home with my little one! I have seen so many 1st that when I miss something I get upset. I can't be greedy though and I have to share the moments... Anyway if you every want to chat let me know! Have a Great Day! Tiff

there is no harm in trying to get a parttime arrangement like that and seeing how it goes. that is similar to what i worked out upon returning to work after my son was born, and we said we'd try it for a few months and then reevaluate. it worked mostly well and so i was allowed to continue the arrangement for longer. unfortunately, it does sometimes put you in a tough spot when meetings are planned when you're not available, so prepare for some juggling and make sure you have backup care if you need to switch days around some weeks. also, in my case i knew i'd be getting the less desirable work/projects, but i was okay with that. you also need to be firm about what is work time and what is not, and might have to remind people of that a lot. good luck!

It sounds like the best of both worlds to me... I alwasy thought, ever since going back to work after having my son, that working 10-20 hours/week would really be ideal. Staying at home is great, but it's HARD WORK and it's all the time. Sometimes it's good to get out and interact with some other adults and feel like you're using your brain in a different way. Sounds like this could be a great solution for you to do so. What you'll have to do is put your foot down about when you're available, how much yhou can get done working part time, etc. Make sure you and your employer have reasonable expectations and that you are very clear about what you will and will not do. As long as you're all on the same page, I think this sounds like a perfect balance. Good luck!!

I was in this same situation when my now toddler was four months old. All that glittered wasn't gold, however. It started turning into a lot less understanding of days I was supposed to be off and more "well we really need it done" and I ended up leaving anyhow. Furthermore, the salary wasn't up to par. I finally ended up getting a different job that's a lot more flexible. I can work from home, I only work four days a week (which is a big difference always having a 3-day weekend) and I get to come in/work late on Mondays. I would suggest getting all the details you want down to specifics and at least giving it a try... and since being an SAHM would work for you financially (if you were considering it before) no muss, no fuss -- if they breach your contract in anyway -- quit. HopeThisHelps!

This sounds like a great opportunity for you. I would suggest not even considering what coworkers will say - who cares? This is your life and family and they are just your coworkers. It is up to you and your boss, and they will just have to adjust. You are in a good position to negotiate because clearly they want to keep you, which makes it easier for you to get what you want. No decision is set in stone, so why not put your best offer out there, try it, and see how it goes? If your job is not particularly demanding, then it may work out perfectly for you. Also consider taking enough time completely off in the beginning to get settled a bit with the new baby. You will be tired and preoccupied with the baby only, so you do need some time just for that. If, on the other hand, you have a job that is always with you, then you may get overwhelmed. I loved being a stay at home mom when mine were little, but I still took them to my mom's twice a week so I could do my own thing, so if this works out it will give you great balance in your life.

Another angle to look at - are you planning on being a SAHM forever or do you want to eventually get back on the career track? If you see your role as a SAHM as short-term, then take the deal! Just talk to people you know who take 5+ years off of work and try to get back in the game...depending on what you do, it might be tougher than you think.

Wow....it's great to be given this offer and it's wonderful that your company thinks so much of you! If you like your company then, it's definitely something to consider. Unfortunately, you won't know how other employees respond to you until the offer is accepted. You may get some snide comments about "only being available certain times because you "get" to work at home - there may be a little jealousy and thats going to happen. Don't let them make you feel guilty because of it - the company made this offer because, you are obviously good at what you do. If you want to work part time - set clear parameters with the company (i.e. "I can work this day and this day" or let them pick the best days if it doesn't matter to you. Talk about whether you will ever carry a beeper or hours that you are willing to keep on/answer your work phone, e-mails...will you be expected to answer them 24/7, especially if it's a day off? Discuss what can happen if your daughter gets sick - can you switch working one day for another? Asking these questions on e-mail gives you good answers in writing. You can always quit, down the road, if this doesn't work out for you but I'm sure you would like to have a lot of this resolved before you enter the agreement. Best of luck to you.