My stepson is so unruly at our house and his mothers. He is 14 and thinks he runs the world. He gets what he wants when he wants and its starting to upset me. My husband just took the money that was supposed to pay the electric bill and bought him a new name brand fancy pedal bike because he "Wanted" it. When i found out i was P'ed off. He tells me to not worry about it. We had a newborn and I am a stay at home mommy, when i want or need for him my husband gets crabby. But if my step son wants something he gets. From friends here EVERY night of the week, not to mention failing grades. There is no discipline. I have tried talking to my husband and he tells me that I am to strict and i need to relax. He skips school to hang out with older, much older kids up town. Truancy officer has returned him to school many times. He swears worse than a sailor. There are no responsibilities at either house, he is told to do something and throws a tantrum like a 2 year old and dont have to do anything. He sat and told his dad one night that i was a f$&@ing Bi*ch and his dad did nothing. I think they both have a problem. He sits up all night playing Grand Theft Auto and then dont want to go to school because "hes tired". One Sunday he took off out of town, over 3 hours from home w/o telling either parent where he was. Would not answer his cell phone or return calls. He stayed the night out of town with his friend and friends mother and then my stepsons mom called the school and told them he was SICK! She is never home and he stays at her house by himself for days sometimes. The local police were called one night and nothing happened. I am afraid social services is going to step in but my husband wont listen to me. When i have tried to talk to him about all of this he tells me "He is out of control, what do you want me to do about it, i am not a miracle worker and i give up" Am i wrong for thinking this is not reasonable behavior? What am i supposed to do? How do i get my husband to listen? I have thought about turning it in to the police or social services but dont know if i want them on my back either....what would you do?? HELP!! We have one son together, and he has two others a 14 y/o and a 21 y/o, which both live with us. The 21 y/o is also sick of the youngers attitude and tries to talk to his father about him, but my husband will just change the subject. He will not own up to his son being a problem child.
Sorry but I have to speak out on this one. Sounds to me like your husband, the dad needs to grow some between his legs and stand up for what is the right thing to do when raising a child as well as responding to his wife's needs. Do you have one unruly boy in the house or two??????
I think there's not much you can do, except leave. This is your husband's problem. The boy is the result of two people who have waited WAY to long to set any rules or boundaries. Your husband is now seeing the result of years of poor parenting. I hope he can be a better parent to you baby than he has been to his son. Good luck!
Your husband is probably dealing with alot of guilt (like many divorced parents, no matter who was at "fault").
You can't change your husband or your step-son; all you can change is how you handle the whole situation. You may have some decisions to make. I would be empathetic, and always loving, to this child but firm in the stance that I will not permit him to harm my child, me, or my property.
I feel very sorry for this out-of-control young man - he could easily mess up his own life and the life of others. He needs someone (his father?) to seriously intervene on his behalf and fight for him before he is lost completely.
Good luck - will pray for you guys.
I think you could possibly make videotapes of the situation and hand them over to social services. Of course that has its consequences as well. You really need to think and pray about how much to get involved and what is best for everyone - you, your baby, the boy and his parents. Your first responsibility is to your baby of course.
