To Tie or Not to Tie (Tube Tying Question)

Hi Madelon,

You've covered a lot of information so I won't repeat it but I did want to add something that you didn't mention. Women that have their tubes tied have a higher risk for cancers. (Men and vasectomies as well.) Typically childbirth is good for the body as it is truly cancer prevention. If you talk to an old, old doctor that has been practicing before most people discussed birth control, they'll eagerly tell you that childbirth is a great immune booster.

Just another perspective...

M.

Well I had my tubes tied 8 years ago when I had my youngest. I chose to have it done as I get sick when I am on the pill and we did not want anymore kids. I did have a c-section so I was already opened up like you said. I didn't feel any different afterward. I think that if you are thinking about number 4 then I wouldn't do it. But if you decide that 3 is where you will stop go for it. There is no reason to wait and then decide we don't want anymore and have to do something else or go back under as you will already be opened up.

Good luck in what ever you decide!

I had my tubes tied, and it was a very good experience. I wanted it done, and I had no complications. I was sore only for the first two days, but I was up and around. It healed well and I have been active in sports. I was 41 when I had it done. I've never had a problem physically, emotionally, or sexually. I'm very glad I did it! I hope that helps.
Leanne

Congrats on your upcoming 3rd baby. I had twins 8 years ago on 27September. My husband and I decided early in our marriage that we would only have 2 kids. I had great pregnancies and loved being pregnant, but that was our choice. So when I found out that I was having twins, we knew for sure that I would have my tubes tied. We already had a little girl and they made it now 3 kids. We love our bonus child, but did not want a second or third bonus. After they were born, I was still positive that I wanted to have my tubes tied and never regreted it. Unfortunately, I started having more problems about 6 months later. By the time the twins were 18 months old, I was in the hospital having a hystericomy. My doctor said that they had destroyed my uterus so much that it would have never held another pregnancy to term. I still don't regret having my tubes tied and deciding not to have any other children, but there are times that I am sad that I had to have a hysterectomy and that it was made so final. What I am trying to say is that if you are not 100% sure, then do not have your tubes tied. As you said, ya'll are very young.

I was on the pill for 3 years, then quit and got pg with my first the first month (a boy). Then used nothing and it took me 7 years to have my girl, a miracle baby because I was scheduled for a hysterectomy. I had my tubes tied because I didn't think I wanted to have any more children. But, if I had known then what I know now, I would have waited on God and just seen what happened. I might have had another baby which would have been great. You decide what is best for you, but physically, I did fine and emotionally I was very satisfied then.
I know a few woemn who have had sucessful pregnancies after C-section and delivered naturally several times. Your doctor can help you there, but also trust God. He is better informed.

I had my first boy(5 1/2 ) by emergency c-section, second (3 1/2) was scheduled and now we are having our 3rd baby in october. Since it will be almost 4 years since my last c- section, they are going to let me try for vback2c...... hubby does not want me to(it's easier when it's planned and I recovered fast too), so I probably am going to end up with the 3rd one. We did decide that if it's God's plan for us we will try for the 4th, since the baby will be almost 6 and 4 years part from her brothers. I have many friends who had 4-5 c-sections back to back. I know it's not the same for everyone, but I am praying for the best:) And as far as the size of the house and gender goes I do not think it matters. We are in a townhome, boys will be sharing the room with their baby sister and we are not planning on moving if we have the 4th (I come from the country where familes of 4-5 live in a 2 room apartments, so having a 3brs is plenty:)) Sorry I do not really have the answers to your questions.........

If you have ANY doubts at all DO NOT do it. I had mine tied two years ago after I had my fourth and was definitely not thinking about ever wanting more. I would be surprised if your doctor would even do it if you say that you might want more. My doctor quizzed me for 5 minutes before the surgery and even posed the question "if you won a million dollars and money (or house size) wasn't an issue would you want more children?" My answer was absolutely not, but it doesn't sound like yours would be. If you have ANY doubts then do not do it, but if you decide you really want it then recovery is very easy compared to the C-section. Good luck and congratulations on your newest bundle of joy!

You have had a lot of good input from other moms, but I thought I'd add mine, too, for what it is worth. I just had my 4th c-section in mid-June. Even with that one we thought about getting the tubal and went against it. I really, really think we are done, but we are still not 100%. We were not sure going into it and it was almost a joke with the ob/gyn. He would keep asking and said if we were not 100% sure, he wouldn't recommend it. I asked him about the possible complications that could arise and if those possible complications were reason enough to do the tubal. He said that complcations were a possibility, but that should not be the reason to do the tubal. I feel our family is complete, but am not willing (yet) to take that final step. I know I can go back and get the essure in office and it is not a terrible ordeal. Plus it is a lot more definate than a tubal or a vasectomy. Good luck with your decision - it is not an easy one.

I had mine done during a c-section too. It was so fast, so easy I still get concerned ever now and again that they didn't do it....but I'm not preggo and my best friend watched them do it, so I guess it's done.

I suffered none of the odd things people have mentioned with periods.

Sex is *great* since there is no worrying about contraception.

I won't lie: I did go though a couple month funk when I realized that 'this part of my life is over' even though I knew for absolute certainty I did NOT want any more kids whatsoever. It's the same feeling when you start getting wrinkles and going grey....you just realize there are something you won't ever do again. Not that you want to, but still. Anyhoo, if you're still on the fence, it might not be the best option. For me, it was the best thing ever :)

Unless you are 1000% sure, DON'T DO IT!! Just get a Mirena, or something.
We had a vasectomy, and many years later, changed our minds. We had always wanted 3, but were overwhelmed with 2 close together, at the time we made the decision to have it done.
A reversal is painful, expensive, and doesn't always work. We had a reversal, and after a miscarriage, had a healthy baby boy. But, it is not that easy for everyone.

I'm not to a point in my life where getting my tubes tied has become a serious question, but as I've thought about it as something that may come up in the future, I just don't feel comfortable with it. I'm the kind of person who will make a decision and then stick with it even if I change my mind just because I don't want to go back on my word. Because of this I don't think I could ever say that I'm absolutely, positively, done having children. Things change and my life could change where I really wanted more and I would regret not being able to change my mind.

It sounds like you are not entirely at peace with only having three children, so I'd say not to get your tubes tied. Maybe it would be unsafe to have more now, but after your body has healed and maybe with new medical advances in several years it could become safe again and you could have the fourth child you've wanted.

It sounds like you are still open to having another child. A good friend of mine just had her 6th baby - 5th c-section. She heals great and the doctor told her she could have more if she chooses to. She also lives in a 3 bedroom house which is just a little bigger than yours. It is like the Brady Bunch - 3 boys is a room (new baby boy is currently in their room) and 3 girls in a room. The kids love it. I have had 4 babies (#3 died at birth - a girl) which created a 5 year age difference between #2 - #4 (he appears like the 3rd). I have all boys and the 2 oldest are really close. I think about the same thing about my youngest having a buddy. I am comfortable with 3 right now but I remain open to the possibility of having another some day. Just as a side note - it was much harder to go from 1 to 2 than it was to 3. It seems like we are much more relaxed about him and enjoy him so much and not worry about every little thing. Congratulations on your new baby!

sounds to me like you should wait for such a big decision. I am also having my third in september and have considered doing something permanant but i think we will wait a few years till we are very, very sure. What about having an iud put in and then in 5 years you can look at the possibilities again.

Unless you are 100% certain that you do not want any more children don't do it! I had my tubes tied about 5 years ago, but I was 36 and my kids are older. I was simply tired of doing the whole birth control thing and knew we wouldn't be having any more kids. You are still very young so think long and hard before making the decision.

As for the procedure, I recovered quickly...it was a laser type surgery. The only draw back for me is that I have longer, heavier periods now and have a lot more cramping.

Ivanna is incorrect about being able to have only 3 c-sections. I personally have only had 3, but when I had my last one and asked my doctor if it would be risky to have another, she said I should be fine if we wanted a fourth. Plus, I know at least 2 people who have had 4 c-sections. Maybe it just depends on how you heal.

All that said, I was where you're at just a few months ago - our kids are even the same ages! But mine are all boys. I think we're done and I'd already told the doctor I wanted the tubal, but the day before I was scheduled to go to the hospital for my third c-section, I read an article about the high percentage of women who have to take birth control pills after tubals because their periods are so heavy, long, and painful. I asked my doctor about it and she confirmed that that does happen. I don't want to go back on the pill! I took it for 15 years! So we decided against it.

My husband is going to get a vasectomy instead ...but #3 is already 16 weeks old and DH has been "forgetting" to make the appointment. I'm not sure if that's because he secretly wants a fourth, or because he doesn't want someone messing with his man-parts. :-)

I haven't read all your responses yet but here is my take on it. I had my third child at the age of 40 and I had a c sec. a VBAC and on my third I had placenta previa complete an had to have a c sec. my boys are ages 10, 8 1/2, and 5. the first two are very close, the third is a great child but would love to have a bother close to his age. I was told medically that I should not have another pregnancy, my Previa was pretty bad and I spent a month in the hospital on complete bed rest, and still had a premie. so I had my tube tied, I think I would have had a fourth had they not been tied or if the Dr had not recommended against it. TALK to your DR, and see how your DR feels about you getting pregnant again, what will the risks be for YOU, not all woman, for YOU! then make your decision, if he feels you will not have a problem with another pregnancy then go for it. but overall I wish I didn't have to get them tied, but getting pregnant again was not an option, at least I know I can foster or adopt! based on what you have said above I wouldn't do it if the Dr thinks you can have a safe pregnancy in the future, I know my third would love another brother (or sister but with all boys in this family it would be another boy)

I had my tubes tied last year after my second child. I did not notice any difference in the recovery between my 1st son (emergency c) and my 2nd (scheduled c and tubal). We spent a lot of time discussing the decision and are happy with our decision.

That being said, I would NOT get a tubal unless you are 100% certain that you do not want any more kids. You are very young and it really sounds like you could decide you want more kids in the future. Tubals are very difficulty (sometimes impossible) to reverse. There are many other easy forms of birth control that you can use until you are 100% certain that you are done having children. The, you can always do a tubal later or they even have new permanent birth control methods that I believe don't require surgery.

It's your decision, but from what you've said it sounds like you might regret it.

It sounds to me that if your health is okay you want one more, so I wouldn't advise having a permanant procedure....

I had mine tied after the 2nd, however, until I met my husband I didn't want any so two was plenty for me. When I made the decision I was defiantly ready. The doctor made me wait because my husband wasn't sure 2 was enough for him, but I fianlly told him (the doctor) I didn't care, that I was done and if he truley needed to have another one then he could divorce me and marry someone who would give him another.

I would do it again, and after I was relieved.

I personally have never been in that situation. I'm 24 and pregnant with my 2nd child.

I would say, you are still really young and from what I've heard can be considered a serious surgery. I do know that it can be reversed *happend to my mom* she thought she was done then changed her mind.

I think its cool that your hubby wasn't all GO FOR IT. It's a big decision.
When me & my hubby talk about having more kids, he actually has told me on several occasions that if it came time to where we DID NOT want any more kids that he would NOT let me get my tubes tied. He said he would get snipped because it is a lot easier of a process for him than it would be for me.

All in all...just make sure you get all the info and make sure it is REALLY something you want to do.

Boy, I could have written most of this myself :) I have a 9 y/o girl, a 6 y/o girl, a 2 y/o girl, and a 9 m/o boy. We debated for a couple of years over whether we would have our 3rd or not...moreso of when instead of if. When we were pregnant with her, we were uncertain if we wanted anymore in the future. I knew in my heart that my family was not complete, so I decided to not have my tubes tied at that time. My husband and I talked at lenght about where our family was and where we were going around the time my 3rd daughter was 10 months old. Exactly one week after that conversation, I discovered I was pregnant with our son (though we didn't know his sex until birth...waiting to know was the best decision ever). I was devistated because they would be so close in age. I knew that this pregnancy would be my last. I felt in my heart...boy or girl...this baby was what would round out our family unit. I (we) decided to have my tubes tied at the time of delivery (decision was obviously made before) because we were POSITIVE we were done. If I had had my tubes tied after my third daughter, we would never have had our only son. Even if he had been another girl, it would have been ok really. I am 100% confident in my decision to have my tubes tied when I did because I knew before having it done that it was what was right for our family. If you're not ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE that you are complete as a famiy, then well, I think you have your answer :)

**EDIT**
Wanted to add that my first was an emergency section, and all the rest were scheduled sections that were completely uncomplicated...so it can be done.

My decision to not have my tube tied after baby no. 3 was made because I was so thankful to God that I was able to have a third that I could not see purposely taking my fertility away. Also, I have had problems with my first two c-sections so I was concerned about more being 'done' in that general area.

With that said, should I have a fourth? Probably not. I am 41 and my pregnancies are considered high risk at this point for many medical reasons.

My husband and I have talked about having him have his operation but his doctor actually talked him out of it. So...something needs to be done.

Looking back, I should have had the operation, but again, I was so grateful for the fertility that caused my wonderful baby that at the time I could not go through with it.

Good luck. I think that the decision should be made to do it if you really think you are done having children, you are concerned about other birth control (for whatever reason), and your husband has no intention of getting himself fixed.

I thought about it with my third. I have one at 20, my second at 22, and my last 10 days after I turned 24. That was ENOUGH for me!! And my husband is older than me so he was good too. But when my doctor asked if I wanted it done and I hesitated for 2 seconds, she refused to do it. She said if I was 100% sure I would have answered, and I LOVE this lady. So I said she was right...I was not ready to be 100% done. We decided a year later that we were done, so my husband went and had a vasectomy. We decided together it was easier for him to do an outpatient procedure at that point than it would have been for me to go back into surgery. He was in pain for a couple of weeks, but now he's good and we don't have to worry about it. I am the second oldest of 5, and a large family would be great...so I'm all for big families. If you guys are even doubting it at all, I would NOT do it...you never know what you may want. I found with 3 so close, it was a lot. And I'm still working on my masters (I'm 27) and working full-time, plus my kids are active little people!! Good luck!!

My husband and I each have a daughter from a previous marriage and have a son and daughter together (they are 15,12,7,5). His daughter has lived with us since we've been married (over 8 years), most people don't even know she's not mine. None were cesarean, however I did suffer 4 early misscarriages-2 before my oldest daughter and one each before my other children. Anyway, I'm 36 and I still have a desire to try for another sometime in the future. Fertility decreases as we age, so it might not even happen; but I am thankful the possibility is still there.

Google the Essure Procedure, It is nearly painless and is testable, my BF just went for her final test and it is fully sealed and she only had mild cramps the day of the procedure, like a mild period.

Actually woman can have ONLY 3 cesarean sections. That's all. After those the tubes should be tie for HER health.