Time Management - Cincinnati,OH

Hi C., I am a single dad who raises my 2 kids alone.
Mother went wacky a few years ago.
What we do is we go camping every weekend at a campground we have been at for 32 years now.
The kids and I both love to get away and we camp there permanently so between May 1st and October 15th we camp all weekends.
There is much to do.,swimming,kids activities,karaoke,bingo,dinners and friends who they have known for a few years also that they enjoy playing with.

My daughter 8 and son 10 and when not camping we went to Cedar Point amusement park and stayed at the Breakers hotel for 2 nights. We have gone to both movie theatres drive in and indoor theatres.
We go to a buffet around 1x a month to eat all you can eat.
We have not gone to the playground this summer as we usually did in past summers.
I do everything from laundry to cooking and all the cleaning.
They are pretty neat so there is not much I really need to do.
I am going to start chores and pay them for the good work they do, and if done without asking them.
They both have playstation 2 games and occupy about 2 hours a day on it when theres not much to do.
We have a swimming pool in the yard we all enjoyed a lot this summer.
We have gone to the Lorain County Fair last weekend.
Also I bought my son a 15'x8' high wrestling ring thats a large inflatable for his birthday and hope to do inflatable rentals with it and use that money for his bank account that he already has started.
I stay at home and am starting internet marketing with a software business and also starting the inflatable rental domain for next spring, and another domain for installing phone jacks in my county.
Other than that, it is pretty easy doing it all, I was used to doing that even when my ex wife was here.
She didn't do anything, so after work when i worked, I came home and made dinner and did laundry even when married.
Just have to fit the time in for it all.
R.

I can�t wait to read the rest of the feedback you get. My house is a wreck, I used a house cleaner for a while, but she quit and I haven�t found another. But that worked great. It may hurt the budget, but what you save in time and stress is well worth it.

Hi hope this finds you well. I know how you feel I had 5 kids all with in 9 years, my youngest is 10 now, I own my own company, have a house to take care of, I awake at 5:30 everymorning to have my time after my husband goes to work. Then it's off and running.. You sound like a great mom and a multi taskler like myself.. When my kids were little, we woould take short trips to the park, ice cream and one day a month- Sunday's spend the whole day together at the park or whatever they chose.. We had bucket with ideas in it that each of the kids wrote down on the paper, we pulled it Saturday night and Sunday we were out the door by 9;00 house soemwhat cleaned and did not look back..My houses is lived in also but not a mess, If you feel stressed about the house have someone come in and get you organized in 1 day somethimes that helps. I am a Professional organizer and Interior decorator get calls all day from people who's lives are very busy. I learned one thing dont fee guilty family comes first.. Have a Great weekend.. L.

Dear C., Balancing a family, work & school activities & homework is quite a challenge. My son comes home from school and begins homework on his own right away. I get home, begin dinner & help with homework. While cooking, I may drop a load or two of laundry in the washer/dryer. Most times, if homework is finished, he helps me clean up the kitchen & carries up the laundry. By 8:30 we usually are able to sit down together & talk or play a game (spending time together). Bedtime is 10-11 for us as we are night people mostly. When my son was smaller, I would show him how to help vacuum, cut up soft vegetables & fruit, set the table & pick up his things. We made a chart that if he helped, we would be able to have more time together & with friends instead of cleaning. One thing I decided was that my home did not need to be spotless. It is clean, but it's not perfect & that's OK. Your children will be on their own one day & you'll never get that chance again to spend time with them when they are so young. My son & I have wonderful memories that we talk about & look back on. He's only 13 now, but so very helpful & we manage our time wisely. Good Luck.
K.

I am a SAHM of 3 and my house looks like a tornado hit it. I put all the time with my kids first and cleaning last. Also while at practices try to get in some quality time with the other kids like reading or just goofing off. My mother=in-law had a great old saying that is perfect for your situation.

Cleaning and dusting can wait til tomorrow
For babies grow up
As we have learned to our sorrow
So settle down cobwebs
Dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby
And babies don't keep

From that point on my house has been a disaster. Even when I do clean everything, it is a mess again the next day and needs to be done again.I hope some of this will help you out.

Good Luck finding that out. I'll be watching for answeres myself. I am a SAHM and can't figure that out. Good Luck.

Hi C.! I don't have any solve-it-all advice to give really. However, I have been where you are - with two children in school (at the time, 16, 13 and 2) and one in daycare. I tried to do it all - which included working downtown Cincinnati for 60 hours a week. I do not miss those days!

I was stressed and upset and well, there were other things going on too (lost mom and dad within 1.5 years). I thought I should head out and find that funny farm.

The one thing that helped me (without REALLY solving anything but my peace of mind) was realizing that I tried to do too much. I wasn't supermom. I couldn't do it all, no matter what. So I had to learn to prioritize. Here is what I did.

a. I put the littlest one with a relative that I trusted...this helped alleviate some of the agony of leaving her. It sounds like you HAVE this....and you should take comfort from that. ALOT of comfort.

b. I assigned tasks to my older children (my son was only with me part time). In your case, the older child could conceivably load the dishwasher, sort laundry, pick up clutter - if you give him specific instructions. Your daughter as well. Even if it's just having them put the dishes in the sink for you - it's one little detail you don't have to worry about. Have them clean the bathroom. So it won't be pristine....it will give them something to do (and probably complain about...which is NORMAL) and help them feel useful.
c. I think that the time you take the children to their respective sports and games is a very strong and lasting time for them. Maybe they don't realize what it means that you take that time...at least they might not NOW...but in the future, they will remember this hard time and recall how much you sacrificed to get them places that mean so much to them. This is a very good thing.

d. time with them specifically: my older daughter was the one that needed individual mom time the most. and it was so hard between taking care of mom, driving 100 miles a day, etc. So we did little things. I would call her and tell her to get out the girly things (nail polish, makeup, etc.). When I got home, we'd have dinner, put the little one to bed and throw a movie in while we did each other's nails and makeup. An hour or two a week of focused attention did so much to ease that burden on both of us.
--the little one was easy...she was at the self-focused playing stage anyway and loved to sit by me and play...occasionally coming over for a hug or a lapsit snuggle - then off to play again. With her I took 10 minutes or so every evening to play letter games with her. Then bath and story and she was set.

I think too many moms think that we MUST spend so much time each day or week with our children individually. A little focused time here and there is what they need (not to say neglecting them....I'm just saying that being together as a family - doing things with each other....eating, cleaning, playing, shopping. It all works).

if the house has to go occasionally - oh well. if it's at the point that everything needs done, there are no clean clothes, no clean dishes...(I was there toward the end with mom), then ask for help. I had a friend come in and help me get things in order...take all the laundry to a laundromat to get it ALL done...and clean the kitchen. In return, I made dinner.

I hope something in here helps you.

R.

You may want to look at the website www.flylady.net. It is free to sign up and give some time saving ideas. How to do minimal to keep the house in order and how to take care of yourself with minimal time. I don't follow everything yet, but it has given me some time saving (and stress lowering) ideas. It may be helpful.

I am currently a SAHM (looking for a job) of a 4 y/o girl and almost 3 y/o boy. What I did was take one complete day and clean my entire house. Quite literally top to bottom. Luckily my inlaws took the children overnight. Then I made a schedule. An actual on paper schedule. We majorly clean one room a day. I dont get overwhelmed with having to get it all done when I really want to spend time with them. I started this schedule while I was working full time and it has stuck. The children help clean up and get pennies for their effort. (They are still young enough to think pennies are BIG money). We clean up the toys and do dishes daily but with their help and multiple containers it really only takes a few minutes! While your doing dishes and picking up toys you can talk about the day. I also make dinners one week at a time *except side dishes* and freeze them. When I get up in the morning I put what we are going to eat for dinner in the fridge to thaw and mic is or warm it in the oven when its time to eat. It only take 5-15 min to make a veggie and rice or something and they dont freeze very well anyway, I think. Try it and see if it works for you. Put the smaller rooms on the days you have pratices for the children. You may be surprised if you keep up on it daily how easy it does become. If you have someone else besides your caregiver that can watch the children for a day you may be able to enlist her help in cleaning, since she is a friend. Good luck!

I know exactly what your going thru, Ive been a single mom for almost 7 years now. When my Katie was a baby it was easy. Its a different story now. My house is usually a mess but I try to keep the main/living area straightened out so when people come over they dont get scared off from the mess. My daughter and I argue over the state of her room but I have learned to just close the door. Everyone now and again when she goes with her grandma, Ill clean her room. I give her a few opportunities before I go in there, I let her know whatever is on the floor when I go in there gets taken away/thrown out. Usually there isnt much on the floor(Ive learned she crams it all in her closet). At least its not on the floor.

My kitchen is the area I have a really hard time with. Im always apologizing to people when they come over. My mom told me, the mess isnt going anywhere and your friends understand. Their houses are pretty much the same. She also said our children are only young for a little while, enjoy them now, the housework will always be there. I keep reminding myself of that when I feel overwhelmed. And you know what, it helps. I dont feel so guilty anymore, and now that Katie is getting older, she occasionally helps me out. She even does the dishes sometimes.

My house isnt immaculate but its not a total pig stye either. Its lived in. And Im okay with that. I try to set time aside on sunday mornings, turn the music on, send the kids outside and clean to the music, and if the kids come in, because the music is on they thinks its fun and help out.

Soon enough they'll be grown and on their own and Ill have time to clean and probably wish there was a mess to clean.

I dont know if this will help you, I hope it does. Im here for you.

Good Luck

I suggest looking in to your older kids car pooling with other families to soccer and football practices and maybe even a game now and then. Offer to alternate weeks or just days. Whatever will work for both of you. What about dad helping with that? You don't have to be there for every practice and game. Talk to your kids, see how they feel about that. Let them know with out lots of details that you need a little time for mom to do mom things. You can then use that time to clean or just sit and do what you enjoy. Remember there is a difference between dirty and clutter. So don't put all your time into a perfect house. When your kids are grown would you rather them remember you playing with them or that your house was perfect but you never played with them? Give the kids jobs around the house. Even my 15 month old has little things I have her do. She's in charge of the wood blocks and she loves it! It makes her feel really proud when I cheer her on. They all help out with clean up the best they can. Also, so the laundry is easier have seperate areas to put dark, white and light dirties. Then you can just grab and toss in the washer, that alone saves me 20 minutes of sorting.
About your 2 year old, day care is a fact of life for most families. You're very lucky to have a close family friend to watch him. As long as he's happy I wouldn't worry about it. Also, try to give each child at least 5 minutes with you just before bed. Use it to tuck them in and read a short book or a poem. Tell the other kids when thier turn is and that they need to play alone until then. Make the weekends fun with a craft project or a trip to the park or the play area in a mall. The library is a fun trip we do for videos and DVDs. Just do the best you can and don't be afraid to ask family and friends for a little help. Being a mom is never easy, but the reward is so great. Good luck and keep smiling!

C.,

I have a 2 1/2 year old and work full time- about 50+ hours a week. When I went back to work I got a cleaning lady, which if you can afford the luxury has helped a bunch.

As far as time management goes, I try to make every minute quality time. I play games and sing songs with Brendan at the grocery store. He helps unload the dishwasher and with the laundry (which of course makes it take longer), etc. When I do need to clean, he "helps" and we make a game of it. We make parachutes when I change the sheets, etc.

It is probably harder to do this with older kids... we also do family movie night once a week- usually Sunday nights. I also try to get up early on the weekend's to get stuff done so we can enjoy the rest of the weekend. Sometimes that extra hour before everyone is up (or even after Brendan goes to sleep on Friday nights) can make a world of difference. I.e I get dinner prepped for 2 nights, make soup or something we can eat all weekend for lunch, get the laundry started, pick up the house.

Good luck--

C.,

You can't do it all. Prioritize. The house cleaning always came last for me. My house was always a mess, but my kids turned out great. They are in college now, and they never got into drugs, alcohol, or sex. They stayed active in their church.

Try to carpool with the other parents, so that you don't have to take each one to their event. Limit each one to one sport/activity. Don't try to do it all!