This Wouldn't Be Safe, Would It?

Updated on May 03, 2012
N.G. asks from Arlington, TX
26 answers

Kind of a long story, so I'll keep it brief. A very good friend of mine (M) got a very severe, resistant staph infection. She has been in the hospital for over a week. During that time, she developed a stomach ulcer that had to be treated, among other things. Anyway, during this time, I've been caring for her 8-year-old daughter. She has a large open wound that they had to pack with sponges attached to vacuum-sunctioned tubes that are draining the wound.

She is getting out of the hospital today (yay!) but I'm concerned about her apartment that she will be going home to. During her hospital stay, one of her friends let her dogs out of their kennels and left them out all day & overnight (without M's permission) without supervision or potty breaks. Obviously, they have trashed the apartment. M's friend fessed up that when she went back to the apartment, the smell was horrible, they have soaked her only couch with pee, there is poop everywhere, etc.

There was already a need to clean the apartment because she had such a severe staph infection and still has an open wound, but I'm very concerned about her going back to the apartment. I am so angry with this other friend of hers that I could punch her in the face, but that's another story. She won't offer to clean it (even though she obviously should, she made the mess), and I've asked around her small circle of friends to see if anybody would be willing to volunteer, and so far nobody.

I would do it myself, but I'm concerned about being in the apartment because I'm pregnant. There is staph there, as well as animal excrement all over the place (she also has a cat & a rabbit). I can't afford to hire a cleaning person to come over & clean it for her, but she should NOT be doing that with the open wound that she has!

So... am I right? Is it safe for me to go clean it? I'm thinking no... but maybe with a mask on? What do you think? No one else will do it and I just hate leaving her hanging like that when she nearly died from the infection.

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So What Happened?

Sorry, I forgot to add that she's a single Mom with no immediate family close by, so it's her small circle of friends, including me, and that's it.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Wow N. you are a great friend.

How about all the friends chip in to hire someone, maybe $10 a piece?

7 moms found this helpful

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

why not ask if everyone can put a small amt towards a cleaning person. One person may not be able to pay all of it but maybe 25 each?

4 moms found this helpful

P.W.

answers from Dallas on

Ask all those other friends to chip in with you and get a professional cleaning service out there, preferably one that uses non-toxic cleaners and enzymes.

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

Call the hospital where M is at and ask to speak with the social work department. Part of their job is making sure that the hospital's patients have a clean and safe living situation to return home to. Returning home with open wounds to a place with excrement all over is just ASKING for a secondary infection. Make sure they know it's not M's fault (or CPS will be brought in), but a 'friend' who left the dogs out and untended... and that the home is not safe for M to return to. Let the social worker know that you're pregnant, or you would clean it up but are at risk for both staph infections and paracite/e.coli infections from the dog's excrement.

They should be able to help & liase with you/ M/ friend at fault/ cleaning services to make sure the home is habitable for M and her young child, and will keep her iN the hospital until arrangments are made and completed.

7 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

N.:

While I believe that if you wore a mask and gloves you would be safe, I would talk with my OB FIRST before doing it.

Talk to your church and ask for help. Explain to them (without the wanting to punch someone in the face (although I understand) what you have told us) - there might be a person who owns a cleaning company who might be able to help and might be able to do it for free or the church can help. If your friend goes to church - go to HER church and tell them what happened.

The furniture? I would personally throw it out and look on freecycle and craigslist for cheap furniture to replace it.

And for her to come home to all that? She would be right back in the hospital if not dead with infections (that's my worst case scenario)...obviously the people you "thought" were friends - are not. I can't imagine not helping a friend out in that situation. I'll clean the kitchen and the bathrooms!!! :) I know that doesn't help from VA...

6 moms found this helpful
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J.D.

answers from New York on

Personally, I would call this other "friend" who caused this mess and insist she either clean it or pay for a cleaning service.

p.s. Nice answer, Rachel D., I'm sure N. appreciates your sarcasm...very helpful....

6 moms found this helpful

R.B.

answers from La Crosse on

Im not sure about your options for getting it cleaned up... but DO NOT do it yourself!!

I was pregnant with my son and my grandma got a staph infection and was in the hospital with it. She was pretty sick and I drove 6 hours to go see her. The rest of the family had to wear clothes protection head to foot and a mask. They wouldn't even let me wave to her from outside the door! I couldn't be anywhere near her. They had her on a wing that had communicable diseases/ infections only and it had a sign on the doors to it that said no pregnant women, elderly or immune compromised people allowed. A nurse had to let you into the wing.

The hospital is a clean place ( sometimes too clean) and I still couldn't go near her. Your going into a messy place where the staph infection is contained and hasn't been disinfected. I would not suggest you being the one doing it!

I don't have any other suggestions for you other than making M step up and fix what she did.

5 moms found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from New York on

It's NOT safe for you. It's wonderful that you want to help a friend, but your safety and your family need to come first. Unless something has changed over the years, one of the first things my OB told me about when I was pregnant is hubby needs to change the cat box.

I can see why no one in your circle of friends would volunteer to take on such a large project. Maybe you can organize a work day, you can help by offering to watch kids or make snacks. Any chance of everyone making a monetary contribution and having a service come in and clean?

3 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

Oh, dear...I don't think you should risk it. Could M, or you and your friends pay someone to do this? With staph, I REALLY think the place needs to be professionally cleaned.

Rachel: Most pregnant people aren't cleaning after someone who had near deadly staph, and animal feces everywhere, and soaked into couches and floors!! Of course, we don't stop cleaning when pregnant! This is not normal cleaning, though...obviously. (I'm not being condescending with that.)

3 moms found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from New York on

I think that the freind who let the dogs out should step up and pay, but if she is not willing to foot the bill then maybe then maybe you an her other freinds could all chip in.

This clenaing will require major chemicals and that is not safe fo ryou to breathe.

If money is truly an issue, you might want to contact your parish outreach (a lot of churches will help regardelss of affiliation). They may be able to offer assistance, fincancial or otherwise.

Good luck / God bless

3 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Not sure how even a healthy person in full hazmat gear would clean a urine "soaked" couch. ???

I think you need to find a man or two with strong backs & get that couch OUT of there. It will never be OK if it is truly soaked with urine. And now it's days, weeks later.

Better no couch that a pee stained O..

If you are really concerned about infection while you;re pregnant..hire a service. Ask your other friends if they will contribute.

And, no, she shouldn't even be coming home with it in that state!

2 moms found this helpful
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D..

answers from Charlotte on

Since no one wants to do the cleaning, and I really think that you shouldn't, N., call around for a cleaning service that specializes in this kind of cleaning. Get a quote, and then go back to your friends with your hat in hand. Ask for x amount of dollars, split up between everyone. And make sure and tell the woman who caused this that you will tell EVERYONE that she refused to help if she doesn't pay her fair share.

Make sure to get references on the company too, to make sure that they can do what they say they can do.

I hope your friend will be okay, N..

Dawn

2 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hello! Bless your heart for being such a good friend...you should ask the hospital for social services and see if there is a program, or a suggestion that could help in this situation....

and that is just plain rude about your other friend..

good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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K.B.

answers from Cincinnati on

I'm pregnant and there is no way I would do that cleaning. There is a reason that our doctors tell us not to clean litter boxes (I don't have a cat- I think they're disgusting).
From the CDC on toxoplasmosis: http://www.cdc.gov/healthypets/pregnant.htm
If you can't get the idiot friend that made the mess to clean/pay to have it cleaned, see if you can go back to the circle of friends and get $20 from each person and pay a cleaning service. Even though her family isn't in town, could you call her mom/relatives and see if they would pay or chip in to have it professionally cleaned?
Good luck, you're a great friend!

2 moms found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Columbia on

YOU have staph on your skin. RIGHT NOW.

And it's ok.

Wear gloves, protect any open cuts (actually I'd wait until any open wounds are healed) and don't lick the dirt. You'll be fine.

try googling staph infection to see more info of how it's transmitted.

And kudo's to you for helping out! :)

2 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

Safe up to a point. The staph won't effect you so long as you have no open wounds. You can clean but not the animal feces or anything it may have touched.

I would still call your doctor just to make sure but you could do some light cleaning, better than nothing.

Oh what is the life span of staph on surfaces, that might be a good thing to know.

Could her eight year old do the nasty bits and wash up when she is done?

2 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Kalamazoo on

Start with the social workers at the hospital, let the know the situation while your friend is still a patient there. Hopefully they can direct you to a service or help out. If they dont help Id call the health department or CPS since theres a minor child involved might be able to help, even adult protective services might be able to help. Theres tons of assistance out there, Im sure you could find an agency willing to send someone or pay someone to make your friends apartment safe for her and her daughter.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.F.

answers from Boston on

No do not clean it yourself. Do not even go near it. Tell the person who let the dog out to go clean it. Be stern. I would tell your friend that what happen and see if a person can go clean it for her, she will have to hire a person. But not you!!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.D.

answers from Philadelphia on

i wouldnt clean it as it could cause u to get sick but maybe hiring someone to come in and clean would be a nice gesture.

1 mom found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

Staph is everywhere. Regardless of the cleanliness factor. It is a germ. Some are more resistant to antibiotic treatment than others (over-use of antibiotics anybody?). The problem comes in when there is a cut in the skin that allows the germs to enter the body. Skin is the largest organ of the body, and one of its most important jobs is to keep bacteria out of the body.

Unless you have open wounds or cuts somewhere on your person, then you should probably be fine, medically speaking. Now, if your pregnancies consist of constant nausea (like mine did) there is no way you could clean her apartment. But if you are ok in that regard, and you have no open cuts or sores, then you should be fine. I'd wear gloves and a mask as a precaution if it makes you feel better (or filters the smell to keep things more palatable).
If you want to be doubly sure, call your OB's office and ask what your risk of exposure to staph is, after explaining what you want to do. They will reassure you that it will be fine, or tell you to stay away. Then you don't have to "wonder" and feel guilty.

1 mom found this helpful

D.S.

answers from Columbus on

I’m no expert, but I don’t think you should do the cleaning while being pregnant; not only because of all the unsanitary conditions there, but also because to really clean that level of a mess you will need to use products that you shouldn’t be using while pregnant.
If her other non-pregnant friends can’t help clean, is it possible for her to stay with you or with other close friend for a few days until she’s well enough to take care of things? You may even want to ask the friend that made the mess in the first place if she can have her stay with her for a few days, due to the seriousness of her health problem with an open wound; maybe that will make her THINK on what she did and the consequences of it if it doesn’t get cleaned.
And NO, under no circumstances she should go home to that level bacteria from feces and such, it can be DEADLY for her, but you shouldn’t be the one cleaning it in your condition.
I will be praying for your friend, her daughter needs her and she needs to get well to raise her.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

i would just do it. the couch needs to be tossed. that so called friend needs to help. shes no friend if she doesnt.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.H.

answers from Louisville on

Think this might be a job for a company like ServPro - or some other property restoration service. If that mess has been down on the floors long, some might need replacing! ugh! Said "friend" best hope the apt mgmt doesn't get wind of this - they might toss your friend right out! Then I'd hope you'd all expect that person to figure out how to get her a new place!

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

Please don't go..............you can't risk this.....can your friend afford a cleaner? it is her apartment..................I can't believe none of her other friends have it in their heart to do this...they obviouisly can't still be called friends......instead of asking friends to clean, I would ask them to give some contribution towards the cleaning lady's fees...............

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K.M.

answers from Kansas City on

It is not safe for you! Do you have the money to get it cleaned for her?

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

I think you need to talk to your frined and let her know how you feel. She needs to be the one to tell her friend that did that she needs to pay for it. I don't know it its safe for you to be in there. If you end up doing it I would check with your OB to make sure it's ok.

Good luck and God Bless!

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