Terrible Twos - Providence,RI

Have patience, be firm and don't go out to eat with her
until this PHASE passes.

best of luck, L.

Hi H.-
Maybe you can try getting her a little backpack of her own to pack with things she would like to play with while out (markers,crayons,paper,figurines). If you let HER pack it, she may be really excited to use the items inside when you are out. I know my son loves going around the playroom deciding what to bring. Also, try to pick up a Water Wow playbook. It is a small book with a few pages and a pen you fill with water. When they color on it, the picture appears and there is no mess except a little water. It keeps my son entertained for a bit while we're waiting for food, etc. I also agree with the other post. If your daughter is misbehaving, tell her to stop and sit down and if she doesn't that you're going to leave. We had to do this with my son once and if you follow through, eventually she'll get it. This stage shall pass and you'll be into the next. Every stage has it's ups and downs. Good luck.

along as she has turned two I would suggest the "1-2-3 magic" method, believe it or not, it works magic! It did for my daughter who was having 9 hour tantrums because she autistic...so it shouls certainly work on five minute ones...lol. You can pick the book up at any local book store, that's what I did. If, you can't, then I would be more than happy to explain the concept.
Give it a try and Good Luck with the little one!

Our son used to be pretty horrible eating out as well - I can't for the life of me figure out why we kept taking him lol. Anyway, first off, I would make it a point to have her in a high chair, especially if they are the wooden ones, you can tell her it's not a baby chair but just a chair to make her as tall as you two at the table. I dont' know if it will work for a two year old but it worked for a 3-4 yr old I used to babysit (she, her three sisters and I would not all fit in one booth unless she sat in a high chair on the end). And I had kids fighting to use this style high chair when I did daycare in my home. It basically boils down to going somewhere kid friendly. Keep trying to bring stuff for her to do. Keep a restaurant activity pack together, so the stuff is new and exciting everytime! Maybe some of those aquadoodle type things? Well hope this helps!

Two year olds can be a force unto themselves! I would make very clear limits and then stick to them. For instance, when dining out: The first time she misbehaves, say, "If you can't sit in your chair and eat with us "(or whatever your expectation is - asking a small child to behave can be confusing, doesn't let them know what is expected, only what isn't)" we're going to have to leave." The next time she misbehaves, leave. No warnings, no negotiations, just, "ok, time to go. You couldn't sit still and eat with us, so we can't stay." She'll get the hint very quickly. My mother always did this and I can remember lots of abandoned grocery store carts (she had four of us under the age of seven!) But it worked fairly quickly. This is also better than delayed punishments, like no tv when you get home, as the result is immediate. Hope that helps!

Hi H., I wish I had a simple answer for you, but I don't. All I can say is this is normal, and especially when they turn 2 they start to find their own voice, and want to start to have control of situations. I have been out and have had my daughter who is 3 tell me that I am being a bad mommy, and I need to say I am sorry for repermanding her. I almost feel like 3 is harder than 2. I am sorry to tell you. My daughter has become too smart, and it is harder to convince her that she she needs to do something or cannot do something. So all I can say is try to stick to your guns, and set ground rules, and if she does not follow through with what you tell her to do than their will be consequences. I have found that this has helped.

My first bit of advice is to be consistent at all times. My second is that patience is key. I care for my nephew while his mom works, and I have two daughters who are teenagers. if they cannot behave, we leave. That is it. Let her throw a fit if she wants, but do not give in. (I am not trying to sound bossy here).

When my daughter was little, she threw a fit in the grocery store. I left the cart where it was and we went home. She did it one other time in a department store, and I did the same thing. She never did it again.

Too many people hollar and swear at their children at these times, and it makes me angry to hear it. I saw an amazing thing a couple of weeks ago at a restaurant. Parents came in with their children. One child was obviously having difficulties and was beginning to cry (he was probably around 8). His mom gently brought him outside, closed the door, and listened and talked with him. She did not get angry. When they came back in, a few minutes later, the boy was calm and smiling. It was a wonderfulu sight, and I believe that this family had been doing this with their children since the children were toddlers.

Hope this helps a little.
S.

Hi H.,
My son is almost three and I have a ton of sympathy for you! I don't even take my son out anytime around his nap time because of the ramifications! What I have been doing since he decided that he was the boss of the household is remind him that I am actually the boss and remind him before we go into a store or whatever, that he is to be nice. (He really, really despised shopping and would throw major tantrums thru the whole store!) Then I let him choose which carriage he would like to ride in. I would put him in the carriage and the second he started his tantrum, I would give him his warning. If he continued I would put on my 'frowny face', take him out of the carriage and have a discussion with him outside - I would not say a word to him until we were outside. This also worked when we would go out to eat and worked remarkably well when my husband was there with us because he would continue to shop or whatever and Jr. would feel like he was missing out. It has taken a whole lot of time for him to learn that when he misbehaves (and embarrasses mommy in public) we leave. It was very h*** o* me because of course I don't want my son to be miserable and there are things that I just have to do with him in tow! We are finally at the stage where a warning will typically work.

Good luck!
M.

Welcome to the wonderful world of two year olds! Stand your ground , follow thru on "threats" and be consistant.. 2's like to push their limits to see how far they can go.. Time outs, taking things away, leaving places - all things I've done and sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.. good luck... 3's aren't much more fun either - they get opinions by then! LOL

Hello,
i think what the others have said hits the nail on the head. You need to be upfront with her and tell her what is expected of her and if she acts up after that first warning take her out of the resteraunt. What we found that works best though is if one of you can stay in the resteraunt and continue to eat and have a good time while the other takes the child out to the car. Not quite fair to the other parent or friend who has to take her out but it will work quickly. Also not as easy for a single parent. But leaving all together and going home without eating works just as well. I would aslo follow through at home too. Either no tv or a special toy being taken for a short period. Just as a reminder. The biggest thing that works at this age though is following through. You cant say ok if you act up we will leave and just keep saying it. When she acts up the first time you need to follow through.. It is hard. Harder on you than her cause you would like to stay and eat and enjoy the time out. But it wont take more than a couple times for her to get the picture. Then when you finally get through a whole meal with her being a good girl make sure you praise the dickens out of her. It will work.. Good luck and best wishes..

Keep a poker face tell her plainly if you can not sit down we are going to leave and follow thru (and keep talking even though she is yelling at the top of her lungs SHE CAN HERE YOU) just keep your tone even and even whisper she will follow your lead and just keep your word EVERY TIME on if she is not good we will leave I know that is going to be very crappy for you but It will help she'll understand Mommy means no when she says it and you can't get your way by yelling and huffing and puffing. I hope this helps it sounds easier than it is but you will be feeling like a pro before long. Because you all ready are breath deep we've all been there and when people look at your family at the store it's mostly sympathy so don't worry when people look over at a screaming two year old they feel for ya

Goodmorning H.,
I totally agree with what the others were saying about sticking to your grounds, especially this early. I am a mother of three and believe me this approch works best (well in all fairness I should say for our family hehe). Also, like Elisabeth said, give the consequences when the behavior happens, it's much easier for children to link the unwanted behavior to a consequence. Good luck in however you find that works for you and your little one. Keep us posted.

Hi H.,

I don't know if this is the right thing to do.. Super Nanny would probably say no but it works for us. My daughter is turning 2 June 24th and lately she seems to think she can tell US what to do. I always tell her if she keeps it up she is going in for a nap. If she keeps it up.. in the crib she goes and she is very unhappy about it. I let her cry while she thinks about it for like 10-15 minutes (Thats all my heart can take) and then I take her out and ask her if she thought about it. For instance, if she left her toys in the middle of the room and i want her to clean them up and she wont do it... I will tell her she is going in for a nap and she skips right to the cleaning up. If not .. in she goes for 10-15 minutes then I take her out.. talk to her about it and then ask her again to clean up and she does the best she can. Like I said Super Nanny might say the crib is no place for punishment but for the meantime it has been working. This weekend she was a monster in the restaurant as well. I told her once we got home she was taking a nap (she obviously needed it) and she flipped. I still put her in so that she knows she misbehaved and if she does it again she will take another nap. Hopefully she will get the idea.

Good luck!