Surrogacy

H.,
Being a surrogate is the most wonderful and amazing gift you can ever give someone. I know this because I was blessed to have met a wonderful woman who became the gestational surrogate for my twin daughters. After 5 long years, and 6 losses, each one never proceeded past 2 months, none of the medical specialists had any answers for us - all tests and fetal tissue examinations were "normal". My husband and I decided to pursue gestation surrogacy since we simply needed another "oven" to cook our bun(s), since my oven wasn't doing what it was supposed to! Turns out, there was nothing wrong with my "oven" because when our surrogate was 5 months pregnanty with our twins, I became pregnant with what ultimately became lucky number 7th pregnancy - I carried her to term in a textbook perfect pregnancy. My 3 little girls are only 4 1/2 months apart - veritable triplets! Life is crazy, but so so good!
We found our surrogate through word of mouth; she was the sister in law of my husband's co-worker. I had looked briefly into some surrogacy agencies (they work similar to adoption agencies); however, there can be some big fees for the intended parents (in surrogacy language that is the term used for the parents searching for a surrogate), which can be cost prohibitive for folks like me that don't have a ton of money, but want desperately to have a family. The entire surrogacy process is so expensive for the intended parents(paying for the IVF process that is usually not covered by insurance; for attorneys; for the surrogate fee, etc), that saving the cost of some fees is helpful. I would contact a local fertility clinic and see if they have any "boards" for posting a surrogacy "ad". This may cut out the middle man agency and save some money. Also, you can spread the word like you are doing here, and perhaps on other similar posting boards.
You should know that it is a long process, that involves medical, legal and psychological review for all involved, including you and your husband. It is a big commitment. However, the end result, if successful, is simply a true miracle.
I approached my surrogacy arrangement in the beginning as a business arrangement -- she was providing a service -- because I needed to insulate myself emotionally from the idea that another person would have the responsibility for caring for my children in the critical beginning of their lives. However, as we became more involved in the process, the surrogate and I became friends, and I now consider her and her family part of our family.
I would be more than willing to discuss my experience with you, or put you in contact with my surrogate, if you are interested.
Good luck to you, and thank you for considering the most wonderful gift one can give to a couple who is undoubtedly looking for a miracle.
K.

I carried a baby for my Aunt and Uncle. I became pregnant and I wasn't ready for another child and my Aunt and Uncle wanted one. My Aunt is unable to have anymore children after the birth of her daughter when she was 20....because of a doctors mistake she had to have a total hystarectomy (spelling?), and my Uncle never had any children.

I knew what I was doing when I first decided to do this. I went through the entire pregnancy knowing that the baby was not mine.....he was my Aunt and Uncle's baby. You have to be able to separate yourself from the miricle growing inside of you. I did this because I wanted to give the gift of a child to someone who deserved the chance to be a wonderful father.

I can't sit here and tell you that it's easy, that it was no trouble at all.....but it wasn't the hardest thing to do either. Zachary (the baby) will be 4 this November and has the best parents. He is well taken care of and cute as can be. I think the hardest part for me was around the time he turned a year old. My daughter who is now 8 and I moved to Pa from Or. We flew home after being gone 2 years. The hardest thing for me to see him again was the fear that he would reject me......but he didn't.....he warmed up to my daughter and I real quick.

I don't regret what I have done, not one bit. We have but one life to live....and I am very glad that I was able to give this gift to someone.

You know how to get ahold of me if you have any further questions. If you plan to do this.....know why it is you are doing it. Look at your own 2 kids and see the gift of love in their eyes, a gift that you may be able to give someone else.

H., I have never been a surrogate, but am a big proponent of Life...good for you, what a beautiful gift! :)

H.,

I am not a surrogate, but had thought about using one. The best information is available at www.surromomsonline.com/support. Read through the message boards. Those women are amazing and have a ton of information. Good luck!

What a wonderful gift you could give to someone! However, I think, for me, this would be very hard to do emotionally. It's not just a matter of getting to the birth and giving of the baby--this is surely a life-long decision. Good luck to you!

My advice is to contact fertility clinics in your area. you can look them up online or in your phone book. Give them a call to see if they are looking for a surrogate and then find out their procedures. Here is a link to one I just googled.

http://www.rsiinfertility.com/surrogac.htm

best of luck, I plan to be a surrogate after my 2nd baby as well!!

Hi H.

I didn't do this personally. But one of my family friends is surrogate at biotexcom. It's such a good deed & for this I always appreciate her & I appreciate you too if you have decided about being surrogate. Doing something for others gives you an eternal happiness. H., you can contact any clinic or agency for this, there are many clinics who hire surrogate mothers. you can also contact biotexcom, its in Ukraine. Or you can do this within your family or for your friend & anyone in your know who want surrogate. Good luck dear. go for it!!!