Surrogacy and Adoption Advice

Updated on February 07, 2018
A.M. asks from Chicago, IL
5 answers

It seems that my husband and I are having to consider surrogacy and adoption more seriously recently. I am looking for any advice on both...especially surrogacy. I have perfect embryos frozen and waiting...just don't have the uterus to carry. Has anyone worked with gestational carriers? Has anyone been able to do this independently, since agencies are soooo expensive? Any other advice on this would be great. Also looking for advice on adoption (preferbly semi-closed, letter and pics only). What agencies have people used and how long was the average wait time?
Thank you very much in advance for your help and advice!!!

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answers from Los Angeles on

you are right A., agencies are expensive, but there is a security in having a surrogate from a clinic or agency & I think security is a big concern. My sister got surrogate from biotexcom, the treatment is expensive but not that as compared to other clinics, what is the most amazing thing about that clinic is that they refund in case of failure or any complication. But, having surrogate from a clinic or having an independent surrogacy is entirely your choice. I shared my own experience.
Adoption can also be an option, but as I said it's your choice. All you need to take care is all legal formalities & security of you & your child. Hope this helps you. Good Luck A..



answers from Chicago on

My cousin and her husband adopted their son through the Cradle in Evanston and they had a very good experience. Good luck to you and your quest to become a mom!



answers from Chicago on

Hi A.! I am so saddened to hear of your challenges with carrying a child of your own. I seriously would love to help you and your husband realize your dream. I have looked into surrogacy after delivering my 5th child because I loved being pregnant and feel very strongly that all women who desperately want a child and need assistnace should not have to go bankrupt in the process. I have NO idea how one goes about this legally and medically, but if you're interested in meeting me and discussing, I am open. I am considered to be of "advanced maternal age" at 37, but I have had 4 uneventful pregnancies and delivered 5 beautiful healthy full term babies. (Even a twin birth) All pregnancies were carried full term - even the twins and delivered vaginally (no c sections). My youngest child just turned 2, so it's hasn't been years since I've been pregnant and am 100% confident that another pregnancy would have the same result. I am very healthy and have no medical issues (perfect blood pressure, low cholesteral, no history of illness of disease). I would take surrogacy VERY seriously and would provide a healthy loving home for your baby and would welcome your and your husband's involvement with every aspect of the pregnancy. Compensation could be worked out in a reasonable manner. I would be very honored to be able to do this for you, so please contact me if you'd like to meet for coffee sometime to discuss further. I live on the NW side of Chicago and work full time. I am a professional working mother with excellent medical benefits and can meet with you anytime. Trust me - it wold be a strange for me as for you and your husband, but I would be willing to go through any physical or psychiatric evaluations to help resolve any doubts or concerns. Let's talk! Kind Regards, A. V.



answers from Chicago on

Hi A.,

My husband and I adopted our little guy last year using The Cradle in Evanston and we cannot say enough wonderful things about them!! We decided to do an international adoption (Russia) because we did not feel an open adoption was for us.

We started the process in March 2007 when we submitted our "preliminary application to adopt". Our home study was completed in May 2007, our dossier (fancy word for paperwork that goes to the country you will adopt from) went to Russia in July 2007, we were assigned to our region in Russia at the end of August 2007, had our referral in October 2007, made our first trip in November 2007 and were home with our son on December 28, 2007! So, start to finish under a year!!

Let me know if you have any additional questions as I am more than willing to give you plenty more information on our adoption experience and our experience with The Cradle.

Best of luck to you.



answers from Chicago on

A., we used Angel Adoption out of Cary, IL. Google them, they have a website. Most agencies allow the birthparents to choose if the adoption is open, semi, closed, etc. I will say in the beginning when our son's birthmother chose open, we were very nervous, but after bringing our son home and watching all the amazing things he learned and ways he grew, I was so excited to share all the news with her. It was like a super close sister. I mean who else would be as excited about his first goo goo, ga, ga, except mothers, right? And I am his mother, but she will always be his birthmother. It is pretty cool.
Good luck to you and blessings for a wonderful experience in starting a family, no matter what path you now choose.

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