Strangers

The Berenstain Bears Learn About Strangers was a really good book. I bought it for a friend's son, and I've seen it at the library too. It was really, really good and explained it better than I would have thought to. Sister Bear gets a little sad, too, and the world seems scary for a minute when she hears she's not supposed to talk to strangers, but her mother makes it all better and explains it really well for very young children with apples. I thought it was great because I don't want my son to lose his innocence and childish happiness, but I want him to understand "the rules" and why, in a way that is fine for a toddler.

I HIGHLY recommend you order a video called The Safe Side. It is a video teaching about strangers and is geared for young children. It was created by John Walsh (America's most wanted) and the creator of Baby Einstein. My husband ordered it for our son when he was 4 and my son really took to it. He's 6 now and still likes the video. It is very imformative and speaks on a childs's level. Here is a link to the website.
http://www.thesafeside.com/

I have a grandaughter who is very friendly too. She stays with me frequently. When she was 3 or 4, she initiated the conversation with total strangers and it worried me. Her brother will also talk if his little sister started it. We had a long discussion on strangers and the dangers and I will admit, I was trying to scare them into not being so eager to talk to just anyone. Now, 2 years later, they still want to visit, but look at me and ask " Is that a stranger?" I reply, "do you know their name?" If they say no, then I say, " Then they are strangers." It is better for me now.

I started talking to my kids about strangers when they were two. the three older ones were always very shy anyway, they would hide behind my legs when someone came up to talk with me, but my youngest- now 3- talks to everyone! I have been teaching him that it's okay when me or his daddy are right there with him, but I think the most important thing is to teach them never to go with ANYONE -even if they know who they are, unless me or their dad said they could go with them. Unfortunatly, it isn't just strangers you have to be aware of- it is also the people you do know.
We have "safe" people that our children are allowed to go with- these are people that my husband and I trust completely with the care of our children. There are two that my kids can go with without hearing from me and thier dad first- anyone else, even if it's a police officer or another relitive- they have to wait until they have asked us or the person knows our "code".
I go over this with all of them before school starts and before we go on any big vacation or when I feel they need a little refresher course.
I like my children being friendly, but I don't want them to be ignorant of the dangers out there- so I make sure they are aware.
Good luck~
~C.

I think this is a hard topic to explain to our children because we (moms) talk to strangers (other moms) at parks and places. We were at a park recently (visiting grandparents out of town) and my son told some strangers that we were from Texas and that he was in Kindergarten. Then, I called my son over and I asked him if he knew those people. He said, "No." I said, "So, they are strangers to you." He said, "Yes." I said, "Then you do not tell them personal information. Do not tell them we are from Texas and that you are in Kindergarten. If they ask you about this park and if you are having fun, you can answer yes, but don't tell them personal information." So, he started to play again and the man said, "So what is your name?" My son said, "I can't tell you that, it's personal." So, then I got involved in the conversation and told them that I had told him not to tell personal information to strangers. But, I honestly think it is really hard to tell them not to talk to strangers when we ourselves do talk to them. It's just as adults that we know how to monitor ourselves and also look out for our safely (don't accept food and drink from strangers, etc.).

-L.

We started teaching ours a little before he turned 3. He also learned about it at the school he was going to. We tell him that anyone he doesn't know is a stranger. Some strangers are good and some are bad (which he's just starting to comprehend). We tell him not to tell any stranger his name since that's what he likes to do. He also sees that if we are talking to someone that's a stranger, then it's okay for him to talk to them although we're still trying to get him to not tell his name so openly.

We started teaching our daughter about stranger danger, good and bad touches or the no touch areas. Since my husband and MIL are both couclers, I left most of that up to them, but now that my daughter is almost finished Kindergarten, she is more guarded with her info. When she was with me, I would explain to her why I said or not said something to someone. I also told her to ask my permission before talking to a stranger. It was weird at first, but now she knows the difference. Some of the suggestions you've received are very good and I'm thinking about doing them with our next child. It's a fine line we walk these days.

My daughter is 14 now but when she was little...I "color coded" EVERYONE into categories of
Red----STRANGER---We do not know at all
Yellow----We know somewhat----Ex: some neighbors, teachers, Green-----SAFE----mom and dad, grandparents, etc.

Then I would follow up with questions. I got some odd looks but sometimes she would say...he that person is red. LOL

This system helped identify strangers for us.