How Do You Teach a Three Year Old About STRANGER DANGER?

there is a video from the makers of baby Einstien and John walsh from americas most wanted. I can not remember the name of it but it had a good concept they did not talk about stranger dangers the called them dont knows and kinda knows. as in you dont know them or you kinda know them. Its a cute movie and we played it for our son about a month ago. He is turning 4 soon and I dont think its too early to at least teach your son some rules about strangers.

I have not read the other replies, but I do not like the idea of stranger danger until about 6-7. I think promoting this at such a young age is inherently wrong. Our goal should be to teach our children that the world is a loving and safe place. That people are around to help you and take care of you. Teaching a 3 year old stranger danger implies he is capable of avoiding being stolen, which is completely false. A 3 year old can do nothing to prevent it -- it is our job to keep our kids in safe areas and keep an eye out for them. The stranger danger thing is out of whack. A person cannot even have a conversation with a kid these days without being suspect. Gees! IT is crazy! Of course kids should be told to be careful and aware of their surroundings but a 3 year old is totally incapable of discerning a safe or unsafe situation, and we do great harm to children to imply they could prevent it.

I personally don't like the idea of "stranger danger" because most kids don't think someone is a stranger if they've seen them before and/or know their name. I'm trying to teach my 4 yr old that she is never to go with anyone anywhere - whether we know the person or not. If someone wants her to help look for a puppy, or come and see something, she cannot go without asking a parent or teacher. You should also teach a password that only you guys know. Your child should say "what's my password" and if the person doesn't know it, the child should run away and shout "NO"! This helps if someone in a car says "your mother told me to pick you up."

I'm also trying to teach her what to do if she's lost. I think that's very important. That's when a child is very vulnerable and would go off with someone. I remember getting lost at the beach at the age of 5... I was gone for hours, wandered for miles, and was scared! Luckily an older lady said "little girl, are you lost?" and I started crying and she helped me. But I didn't talk to anyone for hours because I was scared to ask for help.

Now I tell my daughter "what do you do if you get lost and can't find me?" at a shop, a mall, a carnival, whatever. She knows to go to the checkout people if in a store or "find a mommy, a lady with a stroller and/or kids and say I'm Lost." It hasn't happened, but I want her to learn who she should approach if she's in trouble and not panic or be so afraid of "strangers" that she won't find help, like I did.

G.,
I have been teaching stranger danger in pieces with my 7yr old. For instance when he was younger it was just the "secret word" and "you're not my mommy/daddy". Then the don't look for a lost puppy and sorts when he was old enough to go across the street to the park. Now it's what to do if approached on your bike, hitting and screaming.

I am very honest with him and let him know that the most important thing to do is get away. Most kidnapped children are not returned. They should know they are allowed to fight back if needed. I wouldn't say I scare him (maybe I do) but I know he would NEVER just walk away with a stranger, because he knows the reality of it.

I think if you don't explain why they can't go with a stranger then it won't be effective. Just like if you don't tell your child that if they go swimming or reach into a pool alone they could drown, then they don't understand the magnitude.

Someone I know just tells their children NO but doesn't explain why. The children sometimes think they can't do something for a different reason.

You can communicate this softly with a 3 yr old. I'm not saying you should tell him he's going to be hurt or killed, just that they are bad people and will want to keep them since they are so cute (or whatever) and Mommoy and Daddy will miss him.

G.,
My preschool allows the police department to come in and teach the kids about Stranger Danger. In Arizona, it's called Charlie Check First. They developed a new program since a large percentage of kidnapping are now by people you know, not just strangers. Ask your school if they do this. Its a great way to get it started. They give the kids all the paperwork, go over it with them in a "kid" manner and then it all comes home to you to continue to read to him.

Good luck!
M.

I don't think it's too early at all! I think the sooner you can teach Stranger Danger, the better. I am hoping you get some great responses because I'd love to hear how to teach my nearly 4-year-old son about it. Good luck! :)
~M.

Hi G.,

You might try contacting your local school or police department and ask to speak to the Resource Officer. I'm sure they would be able to give you good information about how to teach your little one with out scareing him.