My 9 yr. old step daughter lives with her mom who lives with her parents and brother, mom dosn't smoke but the other 3 adults do. Everytime she comes over her clothes reek of smoke and she's always coughing, like a smokers cough. When I met her pediatrician last year I mentioned this and she told mom they need to smoke outside, but they won't. We did find out she has allergeries, so won't the smoking affect that too? I want her out of there! This innocent child is being exposed to poison everyday and I can't sit back and watch her be sick anymore! My husband (her father) who is a smoker, but not inside, dosn't seem to want to do anything about it. Being the step mom I'm in a tough spot. What can I do????
Your husband needs to get on board! I'm assuming they already have court orders pertaining to custody & visitation...this can be revised to include a provision of no smoking around their daughter. I have this with my ex...if he smokes around my girls he is considered in contempt. I don't know how much it would cost (ours was drawn up in the original agreement), but since she has allergies & such it would be well worth it.
unfortunately, being a step parent, there isn't much you can do without your husband's support. He needs to get on the ball and protect his child!! My husband and I are smokers and we WILL NOT smoke in our house or in our car or anywhere else our children live and breath. He needs to step up and be a parent!
I am a smoker and I WILL NOT smoke in the house or car or any where my children are. You need to ask your husband why he doesn't want to keep his child safe. Look at all the studies done on second hand smoke it is worse then the smoking first hand. Ask him how he would feel if she started smoking. He probably would not like it so why is he going to let her live in it. With her allergies all the smoke is going to do is make her allergies worse. He needs to step up and be a parent.
C.
There is not much you can do. You are not the parent. Talk to your husband. If that doesnt work then what can you do?
You know that sometimes it takes a person to actually read what they are doing are wrong. Or it may take someone to get sick for them to realize that they need to change their habits. While you are only the stepmother, you still have a right to voice your concerns to husband. You may want to vist this website Kidshealth.Org. You can print out some handouts on what second hand smokes does to others and especially children. Hope this helps.
As hard as it is, there really isn't anything you can do. This really makes me mad because I grew up around it, with my dad, which was bad enough, but I couldn't imagine 3 people doing it. That is like she is inhaling 3 + packs a day! I feel for you because I'd be livid. It's one thing to be a smoker, but to do it around a child who can't get away from it and who is already having problems breathing is disgusting That's just plain selfish and wrong. The only option would be to have your husband have full physical custody, or get a letter from the DR saying her health is suffering and give it to her mom, in the hopes these relatives wise up (highly doubtful though). I am sure the poor kid is miserable because smoking would make her allergies worse. Who knows? She may be having these issues because of the smoking and may be fine once she is away from it all. Since her mom is living with her relatives, it's their house and their choice, as awful as it may be. She could move, but other than that, there is nothing that can be done.
