So My Daughter Asked Me This Last Night and Got Me Thinking... Kind of Grim...

Updated on January 26, 2012
R.D. asks from Richmond, VA
28 answers

My 8 year old randomly asked me last night if a pregnant woman dies, if the baby is saved.

I told her it depended on how far along pregnant they were (which went into a long explanation of the 9 months of pregnancy and what medicine can and can not do).

Then she asked me: 'Well if a pregnant woman dies and the baby dies with her in her belly, does she have the baby in heaven?"

Good question kid! So I answered her question with a question: 'Well, what do YOU think?'

She thought about it for a minute then said 'I think she has the baby in heaven and the baby grows up like normal kids in heaven with it's mommy'.

I agreed; it was a pretty good answer ;)

So what do you personally think? If a pregnant woman dies, is she forever pregnant, or does she have her baby?

Which kind of leads to a second thought: Do people age once they die? If someone passes away and they're, say, 20 years old, in 10 years, do you think of them as 20 years old, or as 30? It's not like they could age to the point where they'd die of old age, you know? BUT, sometimes you can't help but think 'wow, so and so would have been 45 this month'...

What are YOUR beliefs?

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think that both souls are released to heaven as separate entities.
I think that the "age" we remain in heaven isn't the same as the "age" we understand on earth.
Spiritual age is more determined by capacity for love, understanding and empathy.....so theoretically, a jaded, closed minded 80 year old could be a very "young" or "small" spirit.....

5 moms found this helpful
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B..

answers from Dallas on

Since I don't believe we are physical beings after death, then no I don't think she is pregnant forever, OR gives birth. The baby is a soul, like the mother. I don't believe a soul ages.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Chicago on

I guess I've always imagined loved ones that passed on exactly as they were at that moment. But that's because I remember them best that way. I once heard that medium, Sandra Brown, say that on the "other side" everyone is 30.

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M.B.

answers from Washington DC on

My kids talk about death frequently. Kinda odd, but apparently they are filled with endless ideas and questions about it. Girls: 8, 7, 4 and 3.

What I believe? Our body DIES, our spirit lives. So there's no "growing", "aging", etc... The baby already had a spirit, the mother has a spirit, all separate. You gotta think OUTSIDE of the physical, because our physical bodies are gone.

9 moms found this helpful

T.N.

answers from Albany on

Aaaaw, lovely!

One of the perks of parenthood is being forced to examine, revisit, and adjust your own beliefs!

I can actually remember asking my mom about Heaven, or what happens after you die. Even though I was brought up in a very Catholic household, I wanted to hear HER interpretation of it all. Cuz what MOM says MUST be true, right?

My mother is a deeply faithful woman, and well educated about matters of faith. She said something like

I like to think that when people die, that when we pass over, we are EXACTLY like we were in life. If in our lives we embrace all that's warm and beautiful and loving, if we enjoy the intrinsic (sp) GOODNESS and humor all around us everyday, then THAT'S what we'll have when we get there. If we fail to see the good, if we embrace negativity, if we choose to live in misery and reject the beauty, likewise that's what it will be like for us when we meet St Peter.

/And so, age appropriately, this is what I've bestowed upon my own kids. I like the way that sounds.

I love it that your daughters are thinkers, R., though I'm not surprised!

:)

7 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

if you take away the notion that linear time is an absolute, a lot of these questions naturally resolve.
i believe we go on in some form, but the only 'forever' is change. we just can't fathom what sorts of changes will take place, even within our consciousness. it's probably wildly different from anything we can imagine. religions give us frameworks to comfort us in this terrifying lack of information, but that's really all it is, something to let us contemplate the unfathomable.
the atoms that make up my toenails were once the stuff of stars. bet they didn't expect my feet to be their next incarnation!
:D
khairete
S.

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B.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I don't know. I work real hard to try and live my religion and do good and kind things for my fellow man. I try and emphacize with those that are sad and try and encourage them. I try and rejoice with those that are happy and successful and further encourage them.

I try and not second guess God. When He tells me something is good, I try and do more of it. If He disapproves of something, I try to not do that and try and disapprove of that too in my thoughts and deeds. That's why I say some of the things I say on mam-pedia, inspite of some of those things not being politically correct.

One of the scriptures says something to the effect that everything will be "restored to its proper and perfect form. Not even a hair of the head shall be lost." Think of all of the people that were creamated. Are they to be ash for the rest of eternity? Think of the women that died in child birth. Are they to spend eternity with a baby stuck in the birth canal? And what about the person that was ignorantly evil and fought against good all their lives? Will the baby that was murdered through abortion stay a baby or will they grow and mature in a loving heavenly family?

I don't know. I just try and do the best I can with what I've got. I try and help whenever I can, where ever I can. That's why I'm here on Mamapedia . . . To share my knowledge and experience and try to help as many people as I can.

Good luck to you and yours.

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M.P.

answers from Raleigh on

I think that once we die, we die and that's it. We return to the state of non-existence that we had before we were born. Some people think it's depressing that I feel this way, but I am not sure why that is depressing at all. Ironically, I grew up in a religious household, and heaven is a place where there is no sin, no unhappiness, no flaws, streets of gold, where you will be reunited with loved ones. With that knowledge, the traditional "Heaven" doesn't seem like that great of a place to me. Everyone goes around in this utopia in a zombie-like happiness. It's the warts and all that make people interesting and individual. We love people on this earth flaws, sins, and all. It makes them who they are, and without that, I am not sure they would be the same people. Anyway, that is my personal view and belief.
We really have no way of knowing what happens when we die. I think these people that have "seen the light" are just hallucinating. I have seen this with loved ones as I have been by their bedsides as they pass away. They see people and places that give comfort, or happy times in their lives. I think it's the body's way of moving toward death in a peaceful way.
With my son, we are open to him trying many different beliefs if he chooses. Right now, he thinks our recently passed cat will come back as a different cat. We just go with it. Whose to say he's wrong? It makes just as much sense as the cat going to some kind of cat heaven. I just try to be open-minded as much as I can for his sake.

5 moms found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Great answer she gave!

No one knows what happens after we die.
So.
Either both physical bodies-fetus and mother are dead in their tracks and that's the end of the story
OR
The sky is the limit on what happens in an afterlife. I'd like to think mother and child grow together in heaven with all their lost loved ones and pets in their ultimate paradise setting and no one ever ages past their healthiest age or gets sick or has any problems for all of eternity. :) Of course. That's what I'd like to think. Anyone can fill in the blanks.

I also sort of believe that whatever people believe becomes real for them when they die-it's my own philosophy :)

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A.S.

answers from Iowa City on

I don't believe in the heaven/hell concept but I do believe in the laws of thermodynamics (so a dead person's energy returns to the universe). I don't add years to dead people. If Cousin John died at 22, I think of him as 22. I might think John would have been 27 this year but I don't think he *is* 27. He ceases to age and is released from human form upon death.

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M.M.

answers from Detroit on

Wow, what an amazing little girl!

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

I believe we're reincarnated until we achieve as much knowledge and experience as a human can, and then we reach heaven -or nirvana or whatever you want to call it. I think there are "resting" periods between lives in a heaven-like setting. No matter what anyone believes or doesn't believe, it's a scientific fact that we are made of a certain amount of energy, and energy never dies -so it goes somewhere! I haven't made up my mind yet about whether or not we "wait" for those we were in this life with before moving to the next. Some schools of thought say we are reincarnated within the same soul group, but I'm not sure. It's one of those eternal mysteries to me!

I do not think anyone ages after death. Aging is a physical process, and once the physical body dies -it's done. I do think our entities/souls are "of a certain age" depending on how long we've been around -in any number of lives -but that's not part of our current physical age.

4 moms found this helpful

J.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

She's so smart to ask and think out such a deep question! I think that our energy and souls live on but not in the physical form. So there would be no age of either the mother or child.
I;d love to think of heaven as a magical place where all is perfect and a continuation of life but thats because thats all I know and I cant picture it J. ending or being completely diferent and J. my energy living on

3 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

My dad always said in heaven you are without sin and all the scars that come with that. Dad is a bit of a kook. :p

Still I guess my idea of heaven is earth without limitations. So if you wanted to be thirty then you are.

Of course when my mom died and dad remarried I had great fun with dad reminding him there is going to be great confusion in heaven when he dies and I am putting my money on mom winning. Started making me wonder if there can be multiple versions of us in heaven...I know I don't want to be there when that plays out.

3 moms found this helpful

J.P.

answers from Lakeland on

I don't believe the woman would still be pregnant since it is just the physical part. Maybe the two souls will stay together in heaven or here on earth as spirits. I guess depending on exactly where our souls end up could determine if they still age, not in a physical sense but maybe they still mature if they chose too.
All of this really depends on your own individual beliefs. I think that most people have a hard time separating the physical being from the spirit beings and this causes fear of death or fear of the unknown. I truly believe our souls still go on to somewhere else.

3 moms found this helpful

L._.

answers from San Diego on

That's exactly what Jesse Duplantis said after his miracle heaven visitation. He didn't almost die. God gave him a vision or may have actually taken him there. He said it felt real, smelled real, etc. He said that because time does not exist in heaven like it does here, babies are babies for a very long time and that if the woman dies sometime after losing a baby, her babies will still be little when she goes to heaven and she will be with them and finish raising them up. Well, obviously we all die. But he seemed to indicate that if a person doesn't live a long, long time and die at a very old age, she'll be with them as babies.

He met a family that died in a car crash. While he was walking towards the throne of God, they were on the way to have a picnic.

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R.A.

answers from Providence on

Kids are amazing.

I think that when someone dies, they stay that same age in appearance. However, their spirit will grow, as well as their insights and understandings. As far as a pregnant women and her unborn child, that is a really good question. I have no idea. I would believe that their spirits will be present, however, the age of the unborn child, who knows? Their image might be aged . I've never read or heard someone talk about this in particular, either. I would be curious to know what their insight is as well. Good question!

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M.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

I think you are your soul a spirit and there is no concept of age. I also think there is no single love just a love of all. Meaning you are not with anyone in particular. I feel you would stick closer to the souls you knew on earth.

2 moms found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

The answer depends upon what you believe, especially if you are religious. As a Christian, I believe that life begins at conception (and there are actually beliefs that conception isn't JUST the physical conception, but that God created everything that was created "in the beginning"... sort of now and not yet--like Christ was and yet was not conceived in Mary "in the beginning"). As a Christian I also believe that there is life after death, and that not everyone will go to "the happy place".
The two (mom and baby) are separate people, so there are two persons, not mom still being pregnant in heaven (assuming she goes to heaven). And then you hit the big question: What happens with the baby? As a Christian, the belief is that faith gives you your salvation. So, does the baby have faith? It hasn't been baptised. Which in my faith (Lutheranism) is a way the Bible says God bestows the gift of faith. So it does look grim for the baby. But then God is gracious, and there is much talk in the Bible also about families being blessed by believing parents, etc... so maybe there is hope for the baby after all. Perhaps this may shed some light on why people of faith are SO vehemently against abortion (aside from the obvious "right to life")... it may not be JUST THIS life that is affected...
I know this is probably not what you were looking for... but it is a very real aspect to the question posed. And those who have had miscarriages and have faith often struggle with this question.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

A preacher could answer this question much better. I personaly think we all have our own souls. I think we are all youthful and healthy. I do not think the pregnant woman would still be pregnant in Heaven. Can you imagine eternity being pregnant? I feel were more of a spirit like being in Heaven not so flesh and bone. " I am not my body". You must read this blog. I am not Mormon but this blogger is. She, husband and piolet were in a plane crash. She is now pregnant. Burned over 80% but she is the one that says " I am not my body" Its so insperational http://nieniedialogues.com/

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C.P.

answers from Columbia on

It sounds to me like you both believe in Heaven and life after death.

I do too.

When a pregnant woman and her child die, two people have died. Two separate spirits who are family cross over together, at the same time, and join God and everyone else. They are ALL together, as a part of God.

Once you die, you do not age...but you aren't the same age as when you died in this physical life either. Really, it's difficult to describe...because we aren't physically "us" when we die. We have no physical bodies to speak of.

I have a unique perspective on this as a clairsentient (which is a type of psychic medium). I will say this...the truth is that there IS something after we die. There is a Heaven and there is God. But they're not as far away as we think.

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Y.C.

answers from New York on

Gasp!
I think you were a very smart cookie and turn the question, some times we think we know what they are asking and end up in very tangled.
I think that we have no body, just a soul, we do however can recognize people we love for some kind of love connection, or at least I hope so.
Therefor she wouldn't be pregnant.
Now, here is when I enter in conflict, and always have.
I know that you need to be baptized to enter heaven, but I want to believe that it must be an expect-ion for this cases.
I honesty can't think on heaven being heaven if you must be separated from your baby just because he/she was baptized.
Well, seems that you daughter got me thinking too, lol.

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T.H.

answers from Norfolk on

i believe we will all be of the same age when we get there. we will take on the bodies that God has designed for us the way they should be. not young, old, crippled or defected. if we had dwarfism for example when we get to heaven we wouldn't and in that case would be just as tall as everyone else. in heaven it says we will know who everyone is even if they on't look as they did here. i also believe that as soon as the baby in mommies belly forms it is going to heaven when it dies. weither still in utero or not. just my belief. not saying im right. what baffles me about that is woman have more misscarriages than they know about.

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H.H.

answers from Washington DC on

A friend of mine just lost her baby in childbirth and this just made me cry. I believe that heaven is everything we love most in our life and if that includes our baby then he/she will be there with us in whatever state we prefer. I have to believe that one day when my friend goes to heaven her baby will be waiting there for her.

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C.C.

answers from Houston on

Concerning believing in heaven....why do you have to believe...isn't there proof? You mean all these religions and no one knows for sure. Wish I knew...but have always been confused. Do you believe in Santa? Is it the same thing....believe is believe. I just live the best way I know how and the cleanest.

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D.S.

answers from Washington DC on

no, you do not age once you die. aging is a condition just for this earth. the soul is eternal and the body is just a vessel.

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B.A.

answers from Norfolk on

Read "Heaven Is For Real" by Todd Burpo. If she's a good reader, she could read it also. My grandson read it when he was 9 yrs. old.

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A.L.

answers from Washington DC on

I second Randbashe. Interestingly, the book "Heaven is for Real" answers all those questions. It's an easy read and really gets you thinking. It's about a 3 year old boy who had a life-after-death experience. Knew things that he shouldn't have known (where his parents were when he was in surgery, the fact that his mother had a miscarriage before he was born because he SAW her on the other side, etc.). There's also an interesting bit wherein he knew his already deceased Great Grandpa as a young man but couldn't recognize him as an old man. Really great book. Or...maybe I'm just biased because it nailed what I already believe anyway ;)

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