Single Mom Seeking Help

T., sometimes things can seem completely overwhelming. And there are times that you can get frustrated and take it out on the kids (attitude wise, angry words etc)... The key is to give yourself time to defuse and relax.
Do you have any family or friends that can help you have some you time. Even to just take the kids for an hour or so, so that you can decompress?
I see you live in Lacey. I live north of you in Sedro-Woolley (about 2 hours away). If you need someone to talk to or something, maybe I can help? I mean I don't have alot of time either with a 15yr old and then 3 kids I watch all week, but hey you never know!
Feel free to call me if you want ###-###-####... I'm usually home off and on throughout the day, so if you don't catch me, leave me a message and I'll call you back (I have free long distance)...

Keep your head up and breath!

Dear T. - That is what this group is all about we are here to help you. Even if you just need to vent. I don't know how much you know about baby blues but it is a serious medical condition. After my second child was born 7 years after my first I went through alot everything from a stressful job to a baby that would not breastfeed. After quiting my job and almost going completely insane my docter put me on some antideprassants. Contrary to what you might here there are alot of good meds that the docter could give you that does not interfere with you being a good mother or being a normal person. They just take the edge off of the feeling that you are going to lose it as well as give you patience for your 2 year old. Believe me I understand, I have a 2 year old myself and they are always into something. Talk to your Docter and if you do not feel that He/She is helping you then find someone else. Another thing about antideppresants they are not something you have to take all the time. I take them when I need them usually during the Holiday months and then I don't take them the rest of the year. I am not a docter I am just telling you what helped me. T.- we are all here for you and sometimes just talking to another mother can help. I know that the things I have gone through the mothers on this website have given me great advise. If you need someone to talk to one on one please feel free to email me at ____@____.com. I hope this helps in someway. Remember we have all been there.
Hugs and Prayers,
Beky

T.,

What an incredible mother and woman you must be to be going through all of these horrible things all at once! It takes an incredible amount of strength and courage to ask for help and we are all here to support you. I am in Sammamish, just east of Seattle - a bit of a ways from you. I have have a 6year old daughter and total baby envy! If you are ever free and want to meet up somewhere between our two cities - or if you ever need a friend, I am always around. Feel free to email me at ____@____.com and maybe we can exchange phone numbers. I am always looking for new mom friends!

Remember - you are a fantastic mother and an incredible person. You are doing the best that you can. The only thing that you can control is your choices and actions and it sounds as though you have a very good grasp on what are the best choices for you and the best actions to take. Major kudos to you for all of your strength and perserverance!

I am sorry that you are being tested. If you are not breastfeeding you could consider taking some xanax ,it is for anxiety and a mild anti- depressant. It is for situational depression or overwhelmingness. You need to see a different Dr. if the way you look seems fine but he isn't "listening" to your stress level!!!!
Counseling would be helpful in aiding your lil ones with their loss.
Good Luck,
G.

Hi T.,
I am a single mom too. If you want to meet and get together and talk, I would love to. Let me know :)
M.
PS. My son is four and we live in Kent, Wa.

I empathize with you and the amount of responsibility and pain that you are feeling. You have received some very good advice. The only thing that I can add is that you may be able to find a grief support group thru a local hospital. I went to one at Providence Hospiital in Portland several months after both of my parents died within weeks of each other. It was of great help. It was free even without insurance and the deaths didn't have to have occured at that hospital or even in this state.

Call the hospitals, or query them on the Internet, to find out if they provide such a group/class.

The tunnel seems long but there is a light at the end which will eventually become visible. I'm wishing you the best. M.

You sound really overwhelmed right now! Just take one day at a time. I remember I had a really rough time once, I called my father and I asked him, "How the heck do I deal with this?"
And he just said "You just do. One day will become the next, and so on."

I would focus on the children, and give yourself some mom time here and there. I live in Vancouver Washington. If you need a friend, I'm here!

Hi T.,
I am so sorry for what you have been going through. Being a mom is a lonely job as it is..I am also a single mom and I know the isolation and pressures one feels.Plus you have an added factor of a couple of recents deaths in your family. My advice is to get your commmunity together. You are doing a great job by reaching out to people through this website. Also have several friends and other moms help you out even if it is just watching your children for a couple of hours while you get some sleep. Your body needs to rest especially with all the stress you are going through.
If you live in San Fran there is a great org. called LIFETIME which has a hotline and it offers respite care when you need a break, I don't have the number now but if you can't find it through GOOGLE let me know and I will look it up for you.
My heart and prayers are with you..Keep reaching out and TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF first.
Peace
Liz T

T.,

I am very sorry for everything that has went on in your life recently.

I to have went through a grip of stuff in life and the one piece of advice that I can give you is that you have to learn to settle up with yourself. As much as it is all normal to feel responsible, you have to understand that there are things in life that are simply out of your control not matter how much it affects your life, you cannot change what happened. At this point, you shoudl start digging down in your gut to unearth your feelings so they don't turn into self-destruction and severe depression.

If you ever want to talk, I am here. I know that sounds corny as hell but everyone needs someone!

How old are you? Where do you live? I am a 28 single mother of 3 that lives in Fremont.

T.,
What a whirlwind you have been going through! I am not a single mother, so I don't attempt to know what that is like, but I have had an incredible difficult year with the loss of my mom (BEST FRIEND) amongst many other things. I do know about stress and newborns and loss and difficulty AND two year olds :). I found that the absolute best thing for me, was to find someone and "let go" with everything on my mind. It can be a doctor, a friend, a church member, or even just an aquaintance on the internet, but someone who will listen and give the emotional support needed. I think you are a very brave woman, taking care of your two children on your own and you must be very strong and incredibly conscientious to come to this site and ask for help. I think as women and moms, asking for help can be one of the most difficult things to do, and you have shown much courage that many of us can not. If you want to chat, talk, meet for a play-date or anything, I encourage you to send me an email, or any other mom on this site. Good luck with everything. Remember, you have all of us thinking about you and wishing you the best!

(I'm a mom of 3 boys...7 1/2, 3 1/2, and 21 months. I've been through the "2-year-old stage and can really relate to what you must be feeling!) :)

First of all, I am so sorry for all the things that are hitting you at once. It sounds as if this has been a really hard year so far. My advice to you is, do not hide how much you are struggling right now. It will not help you, or the children you are parenting on your own, if YOU are going down the tubes. Go back to your doctor, bring lots of kleenex, and fess up that you are having a hard time. S/he might be able to recommend a good therapist that will take your insurance, and maybe some anti-depressants might be in order. I praise you for going through the normal hormonal changes that go along with having a baby, as well as all the hard stuff that has hit you at once. But being a martyr is no way to live if you are suffering needlessly. Please get help, you will actually be stronger because of it. Good luck

It sounds like you are really overwhelmed. Do you have any family that could help you out a little? Maybe someone who could watch the boys for you while you have a little time to yourself? If only for an hour or two- it will help you a lot.
I was a single mom for a short while and it's the hardest thing I've ever done.
I hope everything works out for you.

T.,

Hunnie put everything in God's hands he will take care of everything. The Lord never gives us more than we can handle I have quit a history for the past 7 years.... so I understand your pain, your frustration, and feeling completely alone! IF you ever need someone to lean on im here... I would love to be able to listen and help you thru what you are experincing...

xoxo
Love A. ( allee )

Hello T.,

Jesus Loves You. I know this is a hard time in your life,
but you can make it. Don't ever give up. I raised my son alone and he is a doing pretty well today. I survived too.
May God be with you. God understands

I feel what you are saying. I am now a single mom of just one child and he is acting out to what is going on and i do not want to be fusterated around him but it is so hard. The only thing I can say is that it is not all your fault we are only human and sometimes it is hard but your sons love you and they know you are doing the best you can. If you do as much as you personally can than that is all you can do. Good luck

I would check out this website.. this person is great. i think she would be able to help you work through things and help create a more comfortable you..
www.lifechallengsolutions.com
I have worked with her many times and find her techniques incredible useful..:) think posive and dont dwell on what could have been.. lots of hugs and love for ya:)