Shy Toddler

When I was studying child development, I learned about a basic temperament type called "slow to warm up" and that is me, and it sounds like your daughter (at least for now).
To avoid the word shy, you could say:
-"She just takes a while to warm up in new situations"
-"She learns by watching"
-"She likes to think about things for a while"
-"She doesn't like surprises"
-"It takes her some time to absorb changes in her environment"
or just say, "Don't worry, she's having a good time"

Wow, if I didn't know any better I would think you were talking about me and my daughter. Although, after my daughter has been to the same place a dozen times or visits someone about a dozen times she acts like she owns the place. After almost 9 months of weekly gymnastics she finally did the group activity part last time.
I've been worried about finding the right wording so she doesn't feel like she has to be "shy" because that's what she has heard most of her life. I agree that if we label our kids they feel the need to live up to that label. I'm excited to see the other responses and just wanted to let you know you are not alone. I've also seen a huge change in my daughter starting about a month before she turned two. Her vocabulary also exploded around that time.
One last thing. I often tell people, she's a little cautious of new people, which I think is a good trait." I guess that would work too, because really, in this day and age who wouldn't want their kids to be cautious of new people?
Best of luck!
C.

It makes a lot of sense. =) But you know there is nothing wrong with being reserved, you probably get a lot more "lap" time than you would from a kid who is a social butterfly. Enjoy her! She might surprise you, in a year she may be the chatterbox of the group. As for other moms? I think I would grin and say, "You should see her at home!". That answer doesn't say yes or no to the "shy" question. Isn't it great that we are not all alike? =)

Yes, what you said makes sense, so I have to warn you strongly: Don't say she's shy in front of her!!!!!!!!

First of all, you don't need to explain or excuse her personality to other people. It's none of their business what type of personality she has, and anyway they can see and judge her for themselves. And you ARE conditioning her by saying those things in her presence. You are labeling her and creating a self image that is not a particularly positive one. Being shy is a burden. Instead you should comment any time she does anything brave or social, and bolster that side of her personality.

Being shy SUCKS. I was especially shy in my teens, and would go for hours in a group of people not saying one word, agonizing over trying to think of something to say, and wondering how everyone else could just so casually talk. But over the years I overcame my shyness, and if you talked to me today you would never think I'd once been that way. So you really want to try to help her to not be shy.

To that end: Don't ever call her shy again in front of her. DO PUSH her to go outside of her comfort zone, in small steps. Shy people need to face what they fear.

As a reformed shy person, I can assure you that completely reversing shyness is possible. Help your daughter to do it.