Should I Feel Guilty About This?

my son was 10 months old when i found out i was going to have another baby, who is now 3 months old. i felt so guilty (and still do sometimes) because i knew he wouldnt be at the center of my focus anymore and i wouldnt have all the time to spend with him i did before. i cried for a few days, and tried to go on with everything. i spent a lot of the second pregnancy worrying how cameron (my older child) would react to his sister or brother, and about how he would feel like we wanted to replace him, which could never happen. i ended up not even enjoying the pregnancy, and i was diagnosed with PPD after julian was born. i wouldnt wish that on anyone, and i hope that doesnt happen to you. i try to spend as much one on one time with both boys as i can, but it gets hard. i have cameron help me with small things around the house, and he loves to help me feed julian, the 3 month old. i wont even talk about the sleep i dont get. we're working on that. :) the guilt will eat at you if you let it. if you are pregnant, then congrats and good luck. it will be tiring to chase after toddlers and be pregnant.

THAT IS NATURAL. WHEN I FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY SECOND CHILD(ALSO SECOND PREGNANCY) I THOUGHT I WOULD BE NEGLECTING MY FIRST. I FELT LIKE SHE WOULD THINK I DID NOT LOVE HER AND ALL SORTS OF THINGS. BUT IN REALITY SHE LOVED HAVING THE SIBLING. SLEEP DID NOT COME EASILY IN THIS HOUSE EITHER. BUT AFTER A WHILE YOU KICK INTO AUTO-PILOT. IF INDEED YOU ARE PREGNANT, THIS CHILD MAY BE A GOOD SLEEPER. YOU MAY NOT MISS SLEEP AFTER ALL. BEING A MOTHER OF FOUR, YOU ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO MAKE ENDS MEET. I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM WHILE MY HUSBAND WORKS(A CONSTRUCTION WORKER). I HAVE TRIED WORKING, BUT HE AND THE KIDS DID NOT ADJUST WELL AND THEY ALL WANTED ME HOME. ANYWAY HE DOES PUT EXTRA HOURS IN BUT WE DO MAKE IT. WE MAY NOT HAVE ALL THE EXTRAS OTHERS HAVE, BUT WE DO HAVE OUR FAMILY AND LOVE. AND NO AMOUNT OF MONEY CAN BUY THAT. ALSO RIGHT NOW THE OLE HORMONES MIGHT BE IN OVER DRIVE SO YOU HAVE ALL KINDS OF FEELINGS THAT WILL DISAPPEAR LATER ON. DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP OVER THIS. IF YOU ARE GOD FELT YOU COULD DO THIS AND GAVE YOU ANOTHER ONE OF HIS ANGELS. GOOD LUCK AND MAYBE CONGRATS.

very normal! when I got pregnant in the summer of 2004 then I felt guilty to the point I actually wasn't sure if I wanted the kid or not. I was a newly single mama of the 2 I have, & the father was my best friend who happens to live in Canada. but I still love the angel, no matter how unsure I was some of the time

This is absolutely normal as far as I am concerned. My husband and I knew that we wanted another child and that we wanted them close together so when my son Mason was 12 months old we became pregnant with our second...I worried with every day that I would not have enough love or time for this child. (and I didn't have twins) (obviously in my heart I knew better, but at the time it seemed impossible to me to be as devoted to another child as I was to Mason) I can tell you as the proud mommy of a 4 month old and a 25 month old that your heart and your ability to stretch yourself even thinner will GROW to fit your new sized family.
P.S. I too stayed home with Mason for the first year and was back at work for 4 days when I found out I was expecting Jay, I felt terribly guilty for a while but now realize that I am SO blessed to have a great job that gives me the opportunity to give me some adult time and the extra money I want to give my boys every (almost) opportunity they want in life! You and your family will be GREAT! There has been nothing better in life than watching a new child become such a HUGE part of my fist childs life...they are CRAZY about eachother and it will make you swell with pride everytime you see them interact!

Oh sweetheart, no. It's perfectly natural to feel that way. I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my daughter. We found out I was pregnant my son was 9 months old. I was scared to death that my son would feel put out or like he wasn't loved as much. There were several occasions I would cry uncontrollably at the thought. Don't worry, when the new baby comes everything will fall into place. Your twins will always feel as loved as they did before. My husband and I would set up a routine where when he would get home, we would each spend some time alone with each little one so they felt like they were getting an even amount of attention and love from BOTH of us. Even if it was my son helping me with laundry, or helping me clean up the playroom. We make a game of it. Don't feel guilty, I felt the same way. Everything will be ok.

Hi E.! If you are pregnant,make sure you spend as much time with the twins now.Then it might help a little when you have less time with them months down the road.I had a almost 8year old daughter,then i found out i was pregnant.I felt like i was about to start all over again!My daughter Haley was very excited to know she was going to have a little baby to help with,until she cam along.I was starting to feel so guilty everytime i held her,feed her,i'd cry.I just kept thinking in my head i hope Haley isn't getting jealous. A girlfriend of mine give me the best advice.She told me that you have already had the chance to do this with her.So relax about it.It will all work out!Remember don't feel guilty,you can spend time with them when the baby's sleeping! You are all going to be a family now and eventually they will understand!!! Good Luck! Let me know when you find out! M. M.

E.,
It looks like you're already getting great advice on this, but I'd like to echo the support of these other moms a bit. IF you find that you are expecting again, just praise God knowing that your family will naturally adjust to fit the new miracle!

I'd also like to say that I think it's a great sign that you instinctively worried about quality time spent w/your twins. It means you're a good mom!! Just remember that one of the best gifts a parent can give a child is the gift of siblings. Your twins will learn to share all over again (toys, attention, etc) and to care for someone smaller than them. Just trust that everything happens for a reason and enjoy your growing (?) family.

Let us know when you pee on the stick!

I just went through this about two weeks ago. I absolutely do not want any more children and after my second I had an IUD put in, which messed with my cycles really bad. I was about three weeks late and very nervous. I finally took a pregnancy test and it was negative and I started about a week later. Stress does a number on a woman cycle and with twins, a new job, and the (motherly) guilt of not being with your kids all the time is enough to throw your body way off track. My advice is to take a pregnancy test so that you know one way or another. You may be worrying for no reason! Good luck either way! You have nothing to feel guilty about, kids are exhausting and take a lot of energy! You are human!

I can relate to your situation to a degree. I have 4 daughters, all very close in age (2-7.5!!!) After our 3rd, we weren't convinced we were 'done'. So I surely wasn't ready when we found out I was pregnant again, when our third was only 9mo old. I cried for a couple of weeks, then I adjusted and was okay with it all. You will be surprised how another baby will fit into your existing schedule. After a few months, you won't be able to remember what it was like before the baby came along:) Don't feel guilty if you aren't able to stay home as long with this newborn as you did with your twins, if you do have to go back to work, try it on a temporary basis, and see how it goes. But, of course, before all that, take a pregnancy test and see if all your worrries are valid or not!!!:) ((hugs)) everything will be fine!! If you're not pregnant, you may find yourself disappointed, and then want to actually 'try', who knows??!! Please let us know what happens, okay!
C. G.
p.s. If you live in the Fort Wayne area, did you know about the Mothers of Twins club? if not e-mail me, and I'll put you in touch with someone ____@____.com

E.
Oh please don't feel bad this is so natural. In the end all your new baby will need is love and attention and that is all that matters. Just because you put them in daycare right away doen't mean that you love them any less.
Good luck and let us know when you find out a positive or neg test.
A.

I felt guilty,sad and not excited too when I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd child. My daughter was 18mths old when I had my son..who is now 19 mos old. I felt guilty for my daughter because their were so many 1st things I wanted to do with her and it was hard with the new baby....my Husband works a lot so, I do a lot on my own. I too was happy with my routine before the baby. My daughter started sleeping through the night and I like being buddies with her and my Husband, but now I can't imagin my life without my son, he is a pain in the you know what, but he is a lot of fun. There is a difference with the 2nd child, but it was a blessing in disguise and you develop an new routine. It all works out in the end.