Have 4 M/o and Expecting

Hi K.! I have two a year apart. One boy, one girl. You can do this! I promise you it will not be easy at times but I can promise you once you're over some of the humps you will say, "I'm so glad I did this". Mine are 2 and 3 (just turned) and basically best friends who do everything together. They are potty training together, of course they are getting into trouble together as well! We had a very very rough start because we have no family here. Once we got ourselves a sitter and began to have date nights together and tweeked our schedules for work around a bit everything calmed. Just remember to never lose each other and you'll be fine. Your husband is your rock, and you are his! Keep calm, your daughter should be very nurturing to the baby, it will be busy and fun. The pregnancy part was the worst part for me. Take care and good luck! Keep us posted! C.

YOU CAN DO THIS!! I have 3 each 1 year apart (and they are all singletons.) Sure life gets crazy, but it's wonderful. Don't be afraid to ask for help! It is hard in the beginning, but gets easier and easier!! Please feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions!
Jenny
Mama to Irish Triplets:
Haley 2004, Ella 2005 & Ronin 2006

I know it is difficult, because of the lack of sleep with an infant and a lot of new sensations with a new baby inside you, but you are a mother and you are strong, so everything will work out just fine. You will be twice happy and proud. Good luck!!!

Hi K. d.

I know what u mean. I had 2 son that is one yrs apart. That is very close to ur situtaion. It will feel it hard at first. And goes thur alot of stress cuz they will be in pamper and pull up at the same time. Trust me sweetie u will be just fine. Just take it slow and do what u doing now til it get there while ur new baby is here.. U had alot of time to think bout ti but dont stress ur mind on it. I have 5 that just turn in june and 3 will be 4 in oct this years and had 1 yrs old daughter. I know exactly how u feel... Just like i say take it slow and easy take care one u got now and everything will be just fine til the new one come.. And congrat on ur new upcoming.

S. p.

Hi K....
I was in a VERY similiar situation except my children are further apart (19 months). We started the adoption of our 1st daughter after 9 years of being childless and then got pregant as well! Everything will fall into place naturally for you...I'm sure of it! I was nervous as well, but just think about the diapers that you'll have out of the way once they both reach potty training (most likely together). You'll be accomplishing a lot of things at the same time! Your younger one will probably mimic the milestones of your older child. Think of it as a bonus instead of a negative. You'll definitely have your challenges, especially if your children use pacifiers or similiar soothers or toys, but you'll have plenty of great stories to share with others.

Good luck!

B. P.
http://www.MrArmadillosBackyard.com

No real advice, but YOU CAN DO THIS!! Just keep reminding your self that the pregnancy part is just temporary. There is no magical advice I can give you that will make the transition from one child to two easy. It is exhausting and difficult and that never goes away. I have learned to slow down more, take some time for myself or go nuts, and accept any help that is offered to you. I didn't do any of this with the first one. The first year is going to be difficult, it has seemed to ease up some, but it's still exhausting A few pluses about your situation. Your 4 month old still takes several naps a day, so you get to nap when your tired(DO IT!! don't feel guilty about resting you won't get any when the second one arrives), the other plus maybe that she hopefully will be too young to go thru the jealousy thing. I know it's stressful and exhausting, I wish I could give you something to make it better. I feel for you.

First of all congratulations! I don't have any been there done that advice myself, but my aunt was in the exact same position. Her girls are 11 months apart. I'm sure it was a lot of work when they were young, but she did it. And they have a very close relationship now.

Enlist all the help you can and have faith it will all work out. Good luck!

My 2 daughters are 19 mths apart. It took us 7 yrs to get pregnant with my first daughter. We went through infertility to trying to come up with money to adopt then finally I got pregnant. While I was still nursing my first child I got pregnant again. It was totally unexpected but I was so excited. If I could have forseen want it would have been like with 2 so close I would have been more careful and not gotten pregnant so soon. It is so much harder then you can ever imagine and the guilty you feel is so hard. I cried the first 2 weeks straight.. everytime I had to feed the baby and not play with my 19 mth old or everytime my husband got to do something with her and I couldn't or everytime she would cry because she wanted me to hold her or dance to the wiggles with her but I had to feed the baby. Then I would cry everytime I put the baby down to play with the eldest. I contantly felt like my youngest deserved to be someone's first child because she is so good and deserves the attention my eldest had and the attention I just can't give her. My youngest was colic and had acid reflux, she cried non stop for the first 3 mths. I would go to the bathroom, change my eldest's diaper, eat everything with her crying. After that she was amazing. I think it might be easier for you then it was for me because yours will be closier in age i.e. your eldest wont be walking yet. My oldest had to be watched all of the time because she is so active and can climb or jump or run and hurt herself on anything.. My pregnancy was hard. I was contantly tired and trying to keep up with a toddler that is running around but also trying to work and I had mono during the first part of my pregnancy. The only advice I can give you is get your husband involved with your first child as much as possible. I didn’t do that and it created a lot of problems. I work so I love spending every minute with my daughter, I hogged her. When the baby came she wanted me to still do everything for her, she would cry when my husband gave her a bath or put her to bed or even got her a drink…she wanted me to do it all and it made her transition so much harder and mine. I hated to see her scream for me. It will be hard very hard but you can do it and be prepared to be depressed over the situation. I never had post partum depression with the first but I did with the second and it was all guilt. You can't do everything. I use to hate my daughter crying now they both cry and I just have to tune it out. I can't not feed the baby because my eldest is crying and I can't hold the baby all the time either. My eldest is good but she can't be left alone with the baby. She sticks stuff up her nose or eye .. they are too young to understand so you need to make sure you have a play pen. My issue is that my daughter can climb in and out of the play pen now so no where is really safe for the baby. Just remember it will get easier when the second one is walking, that is what I am waiting for. Just make sure you have help because my 2 go to bed at the same time and it is nearly impossible for me to do it alone. P.S. being pregnant is the easy part it is when you have to juggle 2 children that it gets hard. Enjoy the time you have now. Good luck.

lol! my best advice to you is to BREATH! My children are not as close in age as yours will be,but they are close enough. My daughter was 18 months when my son was born, and he was 14 months when our baby was born 4 weeks ago. I did not plan any of my kids (just like to gamble with birth control.) When we found out about each of the boys, we both freaked out a little. It was an overwhelming notion. But, that feeling passed shortly thereafter and was replaced with happiness that they would be close to each other. The only thing that still worries us, is that we feel guilty about the kids having not as much one on one parent time. But, we try to make up for that, by spending a little bit of quality alone time each day with each child. It doesn't have to be anything huge..just each of you take a child and play with them for about 15 minutes and then "swap." You can blow bubbles, cuddle, read a book, color, build blocks, or do a mini show with their stuffed animals. We put our son to bed a few minutes before our daughter, so that she has some big girl bonding time with us at the end of the night. I would also like to say that you may want to start buying diapers and wipes now! We go through about one box of wipes, and one and a half bags of diapers in any given week! Pampers has gifts to grow points..go to their website and you can sign up for this..basically, you get points for buying diapers and wipes and the points are good for toys and other products through them. I love this program..because, I am getting a special bonus for buying something that I need! The kids are going to squabble with each other..don't worry about that! Introduce the baby to the idea of a new baby now! She will understand more the older she gets and the closer to the due date of her sibling..and it makes her a part of the process. Once the new baby is here, you will figure out ways to keep the two of them close, and blend their schedules. Routine is everything! I would also suggest that you invest in a good sitter, because you and hubby are going to need dates atleast once a month to get some couple time and to have a conversation that doesn't involve talking over a fussing child or a diaper changing timeout. You can do this! Good luck!

Hi K.,
Yes you can do it! My daughters are 11 months apart and it is such a blessing. I will be honest it is hard at first, you will have 2 in diapers and it will be a chalange, but as they get older it is so much easier. My daughters are now 10 & 11 and they are best friends. I had all the same feeings you are going through now, but as a mother who has been in the same position - you are blessed. As they grow older and become more on the same level I think it is easier than having just one. Use your time wisely and remember they grow up so quick and the memory of having two children in diapers will be just a (funny) memory. CONGRATUALTIONS and good luck. If you have any questions or just want to vent email me anytime. ____@____.com a lucky woman and in a few years you will see how much easier it is.

K.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!
I think it's a blessing in disguise at the moment. When you have the baby it will get easier. (Trust me I have twins!) Just relax as much as you can, when the infant sleeps you sleep and if you don't feel like doing anything other than playing with the 4 month old while being pregnant then don't do anything but that. Just take it easy and make sure you ask for help when you need it.

Hi K.-

I was in your shoes. I have 2 year old twins and a 6 month old. Never turn down a nap or help!! You can do it!

*hugs* Congrats on both your daughter and your pregnancy! You CAN do this!! I have no personally been in your shoes, but I have close relationships with some who have. I know it can seem crazy at times, but I believe you are never given more then you can handle. This was put in front of you for a reason.

Here are some great mommy message boards where the ladies have been in the same situation! Good luck!!

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-psadoption
http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-pscloselyspa?redirCnt=1