Sensitive Question: - Wichita,KS

I am 29 and have 3 children. I would be devastated if I could only have one.
Talk it over with him and come to a decision. It doesn't have to be a quick decision, you are only 26 and have plenty of time.
I hope you can be at peace with whatever you choose.
Good luck!

I feel for you being only 26. I raised my two step kids from age 25 on and fought my husband for years to have my own baby. By the time he agreed and I had my daughter I was 41. Who knows if I had had my first much younger if I would've had another. I'll never know.

If this continues to make you feel blue, you might want to find someone to talk to - a counselor or someone else you trust. I hope you and your husband can continue to talk, but our husbands are not always able to handle big topics like this.

The thing I always tell moms is to do your best, with your heart and brain, and then, no regrets.

Life is to short to go back and dwell on the what ifs.

I assume you have a happy healthy child?

Many women would love to have this and never will.

You have a lifetime to enjoy with your son. Do not waste energy that could be used for him.

Our daughter has just graduated from college. She is an only and my husband teases, we should have had a bunch of these, she turned out so great! I told him she turned out so great because she was an only and we had the energy and money to do things, give her experiences and not be stressed about multiple children....

Of course we would have loved any and all children, but we have been very fortunate and I fel live a very charmed life. No regrets!

I work in the child care at the gym. It is a great way to get all those baby snuggles you are probably missing. It is also an excellent reminder as to why I don't want anymore babies...they cry! When you get a crier, then all the memories of the sleepless nights pacing back and forth with a screaming infant come flooding back, and you think to yourself "Thank God for birth control!" Anyway, I would suggest you offer to help someone out with their baby, maybe that will get it out of your system. Five kids is already a lot of responsibility. I'm worried about sending to to university, I can't imagine five or six.

Hi!
This is why I always discourage my young friends from permanent sterilization. You never know what you will want 5, or 10 years later. I knew when I had my second child at 23 that I didn't want another child for a while... maybe ever... but I didn't know what I would want in a few years, so I did not make the decision to get my tubes tied. And sure enough, 6 years later, I got bit by the baby bug. Oh boy, do I feel for you, because I know how strong that maternal pull is. Men can never understand that feeling, so do not expect your husband to. However, how is he supposed to fix this for you? Get it reversed? He's 38. Understand this has been a closed issue for him. You're a lot younger than him... worlds apart from him on this issue. I wouldn't expect him to understand.

That said, you are only 26. You have every right to feel this way. You've only had one child. Please do tell him what you are feeling, and make him realize how important this is to you.

Practically speaking, can you afford a 6th child?

I hope this works out for you :)

This doesn't need to be a "one time" conversation with your husband. Considering the fact that you were 22(ish) when you first had this conversation, there is NO WAY you were mature enough as a wife and mother to make a sound decision.

Keep talking with him (not "to" or "at" him) and know that a vasectomy can be reversed. My uncle had one done after his first wife was "finished" having children... second wife wanted children and they have three beautiful, healthy babies.

If it makes you feel any better at all, this is a decision that even "older and wiser" parents second guess. My husband (39) has his appointment in November. We have two children and do not want to have anymore (I am 33). However, there are days when we still wonder if we should hold off.

It's OK to change your mind... keep talking with him .

Sending you a hug! I'm so sorry you are sad.

I know a lot of doctors that will refuse to do any procedures like this if one of the parties is under 30 for this very reason. You are just too young to realize how long you will be faced with wanting more kids.

One of the things I want to throw out here is you are saying you agreed with your husband so you are letting him off the hook. He had four kids and didn't want more, he was older, he should have known. I am not saying attack! but I think you are being too easy on him and too h*** o* yourself.

Just tell him I no longer agree, I understand where you were coming from but it isn't working for me and ask to get the vasectomy reversed.

I mean sorry but unless there was some reason you couldn't use oral contraceptives he went with a vasectomy so that when you hit this point this would happen. He could say we made a choice. No he made a choice and convinced you it was right.

As a mom of 5, and grandmother of 8, I know how you feel...when my youngest was about 4 I thought man I miss the time I spent with each of them as babies, watching them grow. And around 4 they tend to need less mommy time;( So yep, it is always a time when it seems to hit you! There is no right answer for this situation...oh and just so you know my husband is 15 years older than I am...we have a daughter and granddaughter 5 months apart!! Wanting another child is natural, and talking to your husband, not pressuring him, but making him aware that you are having problems getting past this is a first step. Think about volunteering at the childrens home, or a daycare center that needs help in the nursery. I hope that things get better for you and you find a happy medium on this problem!

Hey! Sorry to hear you are sad. I know how you feel in a way. I'm a very guilt-ridden person and I am always wondering about past decisions, feeling like I could have done something better and often wishing I had made different decisions. I often struggle with the fact that when I was pregnant, my husband and I bought a house and now we are a slave to our mortgage. We thought it was so important to have a house for our son, but now we have a long commute and we both work a lot, and I would love to work part time (and did for a year), but it makes us so broke. I wish we were just renting. But I made a decision based on the information I had at the time, and I shouldn't get down on myself for it because there is no point. I should either be happy with what I have, or I should change the situation. So, you shouldn't dwell on it - either be content that you have a great family and that you made the best decision you could at the time, or change the situation now if it doesn't make you happy. But be willing to accept the consequences of whatever you decide to change if that's what your'e going to do. But whatever you do, don't stay sad about it for too long or you might miss something really cute that one of your kids is doing right now! :)

I think that a mom always wants another baby! You forget how much work they are. I feel for you, though. Some decisions can seem to logical at the time. You are very young so I can understand you desire for another child. I feel your pain. :(

What are your reasons for wanting another child? If it's truly to have a child to love and add to your family---ADopt or foster paretent to adopt.

Otherwise i think you do need to stand by your decision.

His kids are probably old enough at this point to be close to having their own, and i'm sure if you are close to them you can play a big part in raising them.

Sorry you are going through this, I had two children and was satisfied with our decision for my husband to have a vasectomy, I have never looked back. Is your husband open to a reversal? If he isn't then I think you need to allow yourself some time to mourn this, and then focus on what you have, and try now to dwell on what you won't have. I know easier said then done. Looking back is never a good thing, keep busy, try to think positive thoughts and hopefully this will all pass soon for you. Again, sorry you are going through this, hugs coming your way!!

I'm sorry that at the age of what, 22?!? you had your first child and decided the radical decision to have a vasectomy should be done. I was 24 when I had my first child and never thought I'd want another one, but still, that's what birth control is for.

Now your husband may feel differently because he has a whole brood...5 children!! These days, that's a lot, so I can understand him not wanting more...and he's much older...but it's unfair to ask you not to want more. I think many mother's just naturally have a craving for more children...when my oldest was 4, that's exactly when it hit me that I wanted another child so that's when we conceived our second.

I am so sorry for your loss, because that's really what it is. :( Vasectomies can be reversed and your husband really does need to know how you feel.

I certainly want to tread lightly when dealing with the yearning to be a mom, but I just want to mention that this is just a chemical reaction in your brain.

It may ALSO be a sign that your family has room to grow - but just like love, happiness or sadness - our brain is interpreting and sending out chemicals that influence our mood, desire, cravings, etc.

I think if you seperate out the mature deliberation of whether adding another (or 2 or 6) is a good idea from the emotional feelings that are chemical reactions in your brain and glands - then that's a good starting point. THEN you can make that deliberate decision of whether to have more kids, and either let your brain go, or research and take some steps to turn off those chemicals that are making your clock tick louder.

Again - I'm a dude and this is just from the brain chemistry department. :)

I asked this same question nearly two years ago. He had two from a previous marriage, and I had one. We had one together and he decided to have a vasectomy because we were done. I asked how you know when you're done. I had people messaging (and posting on the question) telling me to get therapy. Four kids was too many and I need to get over it.

I'm glad that you're getting nicer responses.

I know that while you were part of the decision it can be extremely difficult to live with it. I understand the ache and yearning to carry another child in your womb. Talk to him about it. Explain to him how you feel. Tell him you want a real open dialogue and you want him to keep an open mind.

Good luck hon!

I know how you feel. Unfortunately from what I hear the vasectomy is permanent and there is realy not much you could do about it. I know that you can give it a try but it will be expensive, difficult, and often unsuccessful. I hope you can overcome your need of having another baby. There are other options to getting pregnant you might want to consider looking into them and just as you both decided to have no more kids you can talk about other options. After thre boy my husbad and I... wel it was more my decision I decided to tie my tubes and have no more kids. Now my husband tells me he would of liked to have more and to be honest I would like to have one more baby. But what can I do. I do sometimes feel bad and regret doing it. I am not sure if there is anything I could do to revese my situation :/...

Hang int there and talk to you hubby about it, maybe talking about it will help you cope with it, Hugs to you!!