Seeking Advice on Pacifier Use

Updated on November 13, 2009
C.V. asks from Whippany, NJ
14 answers

I have received conflicting advice from two different doctors in my practice in regards to my son's pacifier use. He is a little over 1 and only uses it in his crib to go to sleep for the most part. I rarely offer it to him during the day. The Female dr. said yesterday, esp. with my son's second ear infection in a month (mostly due to colds) time to get rid of bottles and pacis - he doesn't need them. The male doctor didn't make it as big an issue - he said - off bottles by 18 months at the latest and pacifier - you can try when you want or when he is older have the "paci" fairy come and take it away. Is there any true medical advice esp. on the pacifier? He is sick right now so I hesitate to take his bippy away but also don't want to increase the ear infections....Advice on when to end the pacifier - He is such a good sleeper!!!!:)

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Let the baby keep his paci. As long as it stays in his
crib, why not! He is only a year old and will not go to
kindergarden with it. Let him enjoy.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

The pacifier topic is as controversial to me as breast feeding and co-sleeping - LOL!!! Seriously, you have to do what you are comfortable with and what your son is comfortable with. Everyone is going to have their personal opinion and experience and that is not going to help you. Every child is different, every parent is different and every household is different (meaning what you as parents and your child can and are willing to tolerate) I say this b/c my son still uses his binky, he is 2.5 yrs old (he uses it at for naps when he is not in school and at night). I NEVER thought he'd still have it and wanted it gone before he was 1. We made a lot of mistakes IMO abot the use of it but we did our best and as my one friends keeps saying, no child goes to kindergarden with one! We tried to ween him off of it recently but that was an absolute disaster. I wouldn't try to take it away when he is sick though - he doesn't need that stress when is he already not feeling well. I personally do not care so much about the "medical" advice about the pacifier use. If he had it 24/7 then I would be (speech, teeth, infections - then it makes sense to me) but using it during sleep (when much of that time the paci falls out anyway) doesn't concern me. My son is a good sleeper with the paci, its his comfort - along with his blankets, bear, music and other things (he has a lot of comfort items!) when we tried to ween him he was not sleeping well and after several weeks he was so sleep deprived and sick and his mood swings were EPIC! I was scared for him b/c I serioulsy thought he had a mental disorder he was sooo not himself. Not worth it IMO. In the near future we will try cold turkey and go about it differently. My mom felt that b/c we were weening him (no binky for naps, just night time)that was making it harder on him b/c he knew the binky was in the house and he knew we just weren't giving it to him and he couldn't accept that. MAKES TOTAL SENSE TO ME NOW!!!!!Live and Learn right - LOL!? So from a mother who stresses over the binky and has lost the binky war on many fronts, I do believe that one day it will be gone (on my sons terms to a point) and one day I will look back and say - WHY DID I FREAK OUT SO MUCH ABOUT THAT! hahahahah - 1st time mom here!

1 mom found this helpful
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R.S.

answers from New York on

I work in medicine. Get rid of the pacifier. Bottles and paci's are hard to keep clean all the time, and using them introduces bacteria and liquids (saliva, juices, etc.) to the middle ears, especially when using them while lying down (like you would a paci). If you feel you cannot do both at this time, eliminate at least the paci, and sterilize nipples like crazy for his babas, while transitioning to a simple sippy cup. There's many ways to do get rid of paci - a paci fairy, bye bye paci party, cold turkey - but my favorite is when a patient of mine took paci to Build-a-bear and had it incorporated into a bear she helped to design and dress (it was added to the batting used to stuff the toy). She was allowed to sleep with Bear, and that was a nice way of letting her "sleep with paci" after after it was gone.

I am adding to my comments, I have seen what the other mothers above me have written. I work in medicine -- again, get rid of the pacifier. I would not be so opposed if your son was not getting sick. But he is. Sucking on a pacifier does not keep the ears "open." It allows air to flow in the Eustasian canal. Sucking encourages saliva production, and a lot of that flows up the Eustasian canal into the middle ear, encouraging infections. It's your kid, ultimately you do what you want, obviously. But if it were my kid, I would not allow the use of a paci for soothing if that ultimately meant he would have to go under anesthesia for ear tubes.

1 mom found this helpful

C.B.

answers from New York on

think the paci issue is a personal one and that is all the doctor's are doing. Sharing their personal preference. You do what works. You are mom and you most likely know best.

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K.P.

answers from New York on

I asked my pediatrician the same question and got the response you received from the male doc. We "kicked" the bottles easily and he never asked for them once they were gone. As for the binky... that's another story. I noticed that my son wasn't sucking on it during the day, but it was just hanging out of his mouth. So, the new rule was "night night" only, which is fine except that my husband tends to give it to him whether the baby is looking for it or not. The doctor suggested that when we're ready, we go cold turkey- meaning take them out of the house completely!

Our New Year's resolution is to get rid of it. We're flying at Christmas, so we'll keep it until after. I wish we never introduced it!

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A.P.

answers from New York on

Our pediatrician said it wasn't a problem for my 2 year old and our dentist agreed, however we didn't have ear infections. We took it when he was 2-1/2. The binky fairy came and he had no trouble giving it up - he did have trouble falling asleep on his own for about 2 months.

I'm planning to wait until my 13-month old daughter is around 15-18 months old (after she gets her molars in - the sucking really helped my son with these painful teeth). I do want to take it before she's out of the crib so she can learn to fall asleep on her own.
Good luck to you.

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M.G.

answers from New York on

My son was a paci addict and at a year my pedi said get rid of it. well, it took me till he was 2 to take it away cause i was afraid i wasn't ready for it! We went cold turkey and there were a couple nights that were ruff but by the end of the week it was forgotten about just like my pedi said it would be. I wish i had done it sooner because the longer over a year you go the harder it is for them and you. My friend has a daughter the same age who still dependant on it for comfort and i am so glad that it's just overwith and a thing of the past for us now. And I'm so happy he didn't discover thumb sucking when i took it away. Now he has a favorite elmo he sleeps with and i give him a rechargable flashlight to take to bed with him and he's content. You just need to pick a date and start warning him that it's going to a new baby who needs one, or the paci fairy, or i cut the nipples off all of his so he could see they were broken and had to be thrown away.If you do it like i did expect a few sleepless nights but it goes by pretty fast if you stick to the plan. What ever method you use good luck getting rid of the paci is a hard one for parents and child. Next baby I'm gonna start weaning off at 6mo!
Good luck!!

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L.D.

answers from Albany on

Trust your gut. If you don't do it already, you will get to the point where you just nod your head "yes" to some things the doctors ask.

Doctors tend to be so by the book - whatever the book is this year which is the part that bugs me. In 2 or 3 years, you'll hear some brand new advice "based on studies". I have three children ages 2, 6, and 9 and a lot of the "rules" were different when each one was a baby. Heck, even with my c-sections!! With the oldest 2, I could only have fluids until they were sure my body was working correctly again (broths and such). With my third, they not only brought me a meal within a couple of hours of having him but we are talking stuffed chicken and the works!! I questioned them as that concept was completely new to me and suddenly "studies" have shown it helps your body start working faster. I have also seen pictures of relatives' and friends' babies being given actual baths right after being born...I was always told sponge bath until the cord falls off. Those are just a couple of examples but I could give you a ton more.

Trust yourself! Do what is right for YOUR child. I do not think taking the pacifier just at night would be a problem and isn't sucking supposed to help keep your ears opened? Isn't that why we have them suck when taking off and landing on airplanes? Personally, I wouldn't bring it up to the doctor unless you get to a point where you think it is causing a problem but I'm with the other moms. Your little one is just 12 months old...he's still a baby.

Oh! If he still has it next year, I have heard having him give it to Santa can be VERY helpful. :)

Good luck.

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K.J.

answers from New York on

Hi C.,
I too left a teaching position to have my children. I have an almost 4 year old and a 6 month old. For my older one, yes, we began getting rid of the bottles at a year. We did it one at at time with the bottle before bed being the last to be cut. He was fine. Pacifier, we'll I agree with Mary. It wasn't as easy. We broke him of it at 2, cold turkey. There were a couple rough nights but he managed. Good luck!

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D.S.

answers from New York on

I think you have to do what is best for your family. My son hated it and my daughter had hers until she was 2. I think as long as you use it for just sleep and do not let them walk around all day with it it is fine. The reason why I say that is it can hinder or cause speech issues. I once had a little girl at my daycare who learned to speak with the paci in her mouth so she did not pronounce her words clearly. Learning to speak has to do with placement of the tongue so talking and holding a paci in at the same time can be a problem.

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T.Q.

answers from Albany on

There are so many questions and opinions about parenting. I know have had a rough day myself! Anyway, as far as the paci... I see no problem having the paci to sleep until somewhere around 2 years. I just think it is inapropriate for older toddlers who use it all the time, in public etc. My daughter was just 2 when we took it away. She only used it to sleep, and it was A LOT EASIER, than I ever could have imagined. One night we were staying at my parents house and I literally couldn't find it at bedtime. After looking a while I was not going to go buy a new one so I just told her, "La (that's what she called it) is all gone". She looked at me and said, "La all gone?", and rolled over and went to sleep! She asked for it for a couple of days and I reminded her it was all gone, and that was the end of it! She did/does have a favorite animal though, so that helped. Maybe try to implement a favorite comfort toy that he can sleep with as a comfort item before trying to take it away. Maybe wait until he is old enough to understand that the paci is all done, but not too old that it is too much of a habit. Regarding the ear infections, my daughter who used a pacifier to sleep had just a couple of ear infections in her life (she is almost 4), and my son, who is 21 mos., NEVER took a pacifier (hated them), had 8 ear infections last year, had tubes put in over the summer and is doing better (but did just get over another ear infection). So, I don't necessarily believe that the pacifier is a big contributer to ear infections, although it might exacerbate them....
Just go with what is right for you. Just don't let him turn into a 5 year old who needs a pacifier in all the time (saw that at the store the other day, he just seemed a bit old for that! Using it too much or beyond toddlerhood can lead to teeth problems, and speech issues).

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C.S.

answers from New York on

My son is also a pacifier user!! He has also been on night-time/nap use only since one. He got a lot of ear infections as well, but got tubes places at 18 months and hasn't gotten one since, so I don't think it had to do with the pacifier. I do suggest you get him off the bottle b/c it is easier now than when the get older and it is better for their rapidly developing oral motor skills. However, we went to the dentist this past week (my son is now 26 months) and he said that we absolutely need to have him off the paci by the time his 2 year molars come in b/c they can already see spacing between his teeth and once the molars come in, if the paci continues, the spacing will become permanent. Something to think about.... good luck :)

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G.S.

answers from New York on

My oldest daughter was 15 months when they finally put tubes in her ears because of double infections. At 6 months we pulled the plug on the whole pacifier thing so I honestly don't see how the two could be related.

I think that sometimes ear infections just happen and it seems as though a doctor just doesn't want to not have an answer for whatever things are. My oldest also has very sensitive skin, the point where she had to go to a dermatologist prior to being a year for these awful bites she would get and the dr's prognosis was that she was allergic to the flea bites she was getting from our animals - wrong........we lived in an apartment and had no animals. To boot wouldn't my husband and I have gotten them too.

Sometimes I just nod in agreement with things that are being said but know deep down that it's just something going on. Good luck!

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C.F.

answers from New York on

Hi C.. My youngest son used a pacifier and never had an ear infection! so not sure what I beleive on that one. My opinion is that you do what works for you! If you get that female dr. again tell her, yes he's off the paci, but he's really not. he's still little and if it works for him at bedtime, I'd certailnly keep letting him have it!! no one (as fas as I know) has gotten married with a pacifier in their mouth!!! LOL good luck!

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