Getting Rid of the Pacifier / Binky

Updated on June 25, 2010
J.T. asks from Chicago, IL
23 answers

My son is turning 2 in August and we're planning on getting rid of the binky before his 2nd birthday (July 4th - 23 months). We've heard many different tactics - cut the nipple, put salt / hot sauce on it, etc. We've heard that kids can take a few days to adjust and some wake up screaming. We've slowly started to say that he's a big boy and that he only needs it for nap time, but that doesn't always work and he still wants it. He also has a blankie which he takes around with him, which I'm okay with him keeping. Would love to hear recommendations and stories of how you've gotten your kids off the binky.

Side Note - we're expecting our 2nd child this November - and so are trying to turn our little boy into more of a big boy before the new one comes.

Thanks!

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter was over two when we finally got rid of it. She mailed it to the Paci Fairy to give to a new baby, and the fairy left her a present the next morning. She did ask for it a couple of times, and I reminded her that she sent it to the fairy, and she was fine. My second child kept biting the nipples off, so we stopped giving them to her, and she was fine too.
Good luck!

S.G.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I told my daughter that it was time to pass it down to the next little kid that needed it. we boxed it up together, wrapped it like a present and "took it to my co-worker who's son needed it".

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

one of the speech therapists i know swears by the "cut the nipple" technique then you say "uh oh it's broken” “lets throw it out" (she has been using it for 10 years without fail)

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T.C.

answers from Bloomington on

Our daughter tore the nipple off her paci (with her teeth!) a little before we had planned on weaning her off it anyway, so we took the opportunity to tell her it was broken and take it away. A rough couple of weeks ensued, but it was worth it in the long run. We too did it in part because we are expecting a 2nd and knew it would be harder if she was still using it with the baby around. She has become more attached to her teddy bear since, which like you and your son's blanket, we're fine with. Just don't expect it to be easy. Then, if it is, you'll be pleasantly surprised. I was expecting it to be easier than it was and it was tough.
Good luck!

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T.M.

answers from Chicago on

We cut the tips off of all our daughters paci's. Each time she went to put one in her mouth she would take a suck, pull it out and throw it down. After 2 days of this, she said they were "broke" and threw them in the garbage! This truly does work.

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L.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

Here's a cute story. My nephew was just over two when my sister decided it was time to get rid of the pacifier. She'd read in one of her parenting magazines about tying it to a helium filled balloon and letting it go to heaven for another new baby. Kent was a big Thomas the Train fan at the time. Thomas was coming to town in a few weeks. My sister explained to him that only big boys got to go see Thomas and that he would have to give up his pacifier to be a big boy. She told Kent about sending the pacifier up to a new baby and he liked that idea, but wasn't ready. Every few days she would ask him if he was ready and the answer was always, "No." Then with only one day left, she told him this was his last chance, Thomas was coming the next day. Kent decided it was time. So they went to the grocery store and he picked out two colorful balloons. On the way home, she stopped by an open field, tied the balloons to the pacifier, helped Kent out of the car, and handed him the pacifier to hold. She figured he would just let it go and that would be it. Instead, he walked about 50 feet out into the field, held the pacifier up high and just looked at it for the longest time. Then he let go and watched it sail up toward the clouds. (It was a very sweet moment of which she did not get any video or photos! She didn't think to bring her cameras.) He never asked for his pacifier again.

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G.R.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter just turned 2 on May 8th. I was determined that the binky was going to go bye-bye by the age of two. However, at the point she turned 2 she was down to only having the binky at bed time and during naps on the weekend. When she was about 18-months old I stopped sending the binky with her during the day to the babysitters house so this made the "big transition" easier.

So a couple of weeks ago I decided that now was the time and I needed/wanted to do something. So I decided to have a bye-bye binky week. The week before I started I told my daughter every day that she was a big girl and really didn't need that binky anymore. So, in the morning as soon as she woke up I would take the binky and put it away.

She is all about princesses, Tinkerbell and Shrek right now. So, the following week I went and bought her some crayons and a coloring book. When I picked her up at daycare I started talking to her about how she is a big her and doesn't need the binky anymore. I told her what I bought for her and that we were going to go home and color and envelope for Princess Fiona. I said that we were going to decorate the envelope and send her binky to Princess Fiona and Shrek because baby Shrek needed it. She was excited about going home and working on the project together.

When we got home we ate dinner and then colored the envelope together. We walked to the mailbox and I let her see me put the binky in the envelope (I think that was her aw man moment because she had a look on her face like "hey, what are you doing") and while I was putting the binky in the envelope I was explaining to her again that baby shrek needed it. I let her put the envelope in the mailbox by herself and close the box. When we got home we colored in her new coloring book. At bedtime that night, she asked about her binky and we talked about the evening and that the binky went bye-bye to shreks house.

She asked about it the next night and by the third night she was not asking for it at all and hasn't asked about it since. I know it sounds a little silly but it worked and believe it or not she actually sleeps much better. She is not waking up off and on during the night looking for her binky anymore and, in turn, mommy is getting more sleep too. She is much more rested and alert in the morning now and still happy as ever.

The biggest advice I could give: What ever way you decide to get rid of it you must be comitted to the change. Do not give in no matter what! If you give in one time then it will twice as hard to make the transition.

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T.K.

answers from Chicago on

My 16-month-old has managed to lose all four of his binks in the last week. We're packing up boxes, getting ready to move, so we think he probably put them in a box when we weren't looking and we'll find them after the move. We're using this opportunity to wean him off the bink and he hasn't seemed to notice. It's just not there anymore. So maybe try cold turkey.

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

We cut the pacifier cold turkey for our 10 month old, however we eased him into the process by only giving him his pacifier during naps and bedtime (not during the day). We took the pacifier away from him so early because he was throwing it out of the crib (despite having tons more in there) and crying for it every hour. I knew we'd have to tackle both sleep training and binky training in one foul swoop. The results were surprising - he started sleeping through the night!

That said, I would caution you about training him before your second one comes. He might need the extra comfort and most children regress when a new baby comes. If you are successful now, just know that he might take it up again (maybe even taking his new sibling's!) so don't be discouraged!

Good luck!

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K.L.

answers from Chicago on

We used the Binky Fairy story with our son at the same age as yours - I thought he might be too young to get it, but he totally understood. We put all the binkies in a colorful bag (for babies who need them) and hung it on the front door at night for the binky fairy. The next morning there was a cool truck waiting for him and he was really excited about it. He asked for his binky once or twice after that but we reminded him the binky fairy took them for babies and he never looked back! I highly recommend this method. Do it soon so he doesn't still pine for the binky when your second baby arrives and has one.

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S.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

It seems like it is so much harder to raise kids these days! My oldest is almost 22 and my youngest is 9, and I guess things have really changed :) When I was raising my kids, everyone I knew potty trained their kids over a weekend by simply ditching the diapers. We threw their binkies away and told them they were done. We took cribs down at 2 and packed up all the bottles without a second thought. Our kids didn't sleep with us and letting them cry it out was standard procedure. We fed them on a schedule and no one wondered if cow's milk was bad for them. I don't know if we were too h*** o* our kids or if new parents today are too "easy" on them :)

I realize that times have changed . . . but I just wonder if they have changed too much? Ok, I will get off of my soapbox now :)

I would toss it in the garbage and be done with it.

M.H.

answers from Chicago on

At 18mo we told my son it was broken (it did have a tear in it) and he threw it out himself never to look back.

At almost 2 I told my daughter she had to give it up and took her to the store to pick out a new baby doll. For three days the babies sat in the box on the shelf above her bed and every time I put her down I said do you want the paci or your new baby. After a couple of times she choose the baby, I tossed the paci's. She fussed a bit and tried to trade them back but I reminded her that she was a big girl now and she had "bought' her baby with the paci. I had a friend who did the same thing but had her child take the paci's to Gymboree and "buy" the toy from their teacher so the paci's stayed at the store.

E.C.

answers from Dallas on

When my daughter turned 18 months I said this is it. I use to run a daycare I know the cons of them still having it after that and I was determined to get rid of it. My mom just cut the nipples with my brothers. That didnt work for my daughter as she just stuck it in her mouth and held it there.

Then I got an idea. I took all the pacis we had and let her hold her favorite (it glowed in the dark) and put them in the grocery bag. We went up to the mall and I threw away the bag of pacis. We went into build a bear. I asked him to pick out her favorite animal. She chose Elmo even though she never like Sesame Street. When they went to stuff Elmo I asked my daguhter to put the paci in Elmo so he can watch over it. She stuck it in there and I asked the person to just stuff him half way. They sewed him up and she could feel the paci in his belly. She kept saying ELMO ATE MY PACI. Well that night she fussed a little and I reminded her OH NO ELMO ATE IT. She then went to bed and never fussed again. When she thought about it she kept saying Elmo ate my paci. She is about to be 7 now. She still has elmo on her bed and still remembers. But it was worth the $30 on the Build a Bear to save my daughters teeth, speech and my sanity.

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K.M.

answers from Chicago on

With all three of my kids, we stopped giving the pacifier in the car, telling them they no longer needed it and we were going on a short trip. They cried for a few minutes and forgot about it after "sightseeing" with them in the car. After a month or two we then told them they could not have the pacifier until they were in bed--nothing while they were up and playing. Keeping them distracted with games, toys, stories, etc. eased that transition. A month or two later, we took it away for naps. Again telling them they were big boys(girl) and no longer needed it for napping. This took longer for them to get over it. They did cry a lot at first and continually asking for it. We just kept stressing that they are too big and that by the time they turned 3 they wouldn't need it any more. We used 3 years old as the "your a big kid and all baby things are gone". We worked with this for almost 6 months before "Pulling the plug" at night time. Yes, it is rough for a while, but if you stay firm and don't give in to their crying, it works. By day 3, they only asked for it a couple of times at nap before giving in to sleep (mainly because they were so tired from not napping the previous few days). A few months before they turned 3, we really poured on the your going to be a big kid and the pacifier is only for babies. Just before their 3 year birthday, we made a big deal about throwing the pacifier in the garbage (they actually threw it in themselves) telling it good by, etc. Of course,we always fished it out after they went to bed and gave it a good wash and hid it (just in case,but never needed). It took a while of continually asking and not going right to sleep, but it worked and by the time each of my children's third birthday came, they were pacifier free!!!

Hope this (or some of it) helps. Good Luck. The key is to stick to what you decide and do not look back.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

If your going to have another baby, good luck with the pacifers! I had my second child when my first child was 20 months. He was not even interested with the pacifer until the baby got home! Since the baby got the pacifer, he decided he wanted one too. So I had to ween two boys at the same time. The youngest was easy, because he didn't want it either, but my oldest, I just threw one pacifer away per day until there were none. I told my two year old that he was a big boy, and mommy won't buy anymore pacifers. He complained for two days and then didn't care to have them after that, so in a way I just did cold turkey.

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N.Y.

answers from Chicago on

We finally got rid of the paci last Friday - my daughter is almost 2 1/2. We had been prepping her for months that she was getting bigger and would no longer need the paci anymore. We said that she was a big girls and needed to give it to the babies who need pacis. I then left a little gift bag out on the table for a few days and told her when she's ready, she could put the paci in the bag and give it to the babies next door (our neighbors have ~5 month old twins) and they will be so happy to have a new paci. I had been dreading this transition for almost a year, but it went WAAAYYY better than I expected. She cried the first night when we put her to bed, but once she went to sleep she slept all night. She never really asked for it again and has just occasionally mentioned that the babies have her paci. She has a little trouble falling asleep without it, but not too bad. Good luck!

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L.A.

answers from Chicago on

We did the paci olny at naptime, and started cutting the nipple. She eventually decided she did not want it anymore.

When I had my twins ( 8yrs old now), We did give them pacifiers, but they did not like them much ( I was SOOO glad for that).

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L.Q.

answers from Chicago on

When our daughter was 2 1/2 we were also expecting a new baby and so we started telling her that she was a big girl and getting her ready to get rid of the pacifier. (she called hers an ucky). What we did was took her to Build-A-Bear and let her pick out whatever she wanted (a dog) to make and we had her put her pacifier in the dogs belly and watch it get sewn up. She was okay with it. She had a few days of crying/whining for it for nap or bed, but after that she got over it.
Now she has her dog, who she named Ucky, to sleep with instead fo the pacifier itself.

We talked about it for a while with her before we did it though...so she knew what we were planning, etc. She got excited about building her own stuffed animal, etc.

Good luck! (and congrats on the new addidtion!)

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I can't tell you how to get rid of it for good, because I'm not there yet, but when my husband and I decided our son didn't need it during the day anymore, we just took it away. He only gets it for naps and bedtime, and the rest of the time, it's hidden. I'll admit that occasionally, he'll find one hidden away and pop it into his mouth. We let him have it for a little while and then when he's distracted with something, we take it away again. He was probably fussy for it for two days, and now he just accepts that we take it away when he wakes up. I don't know how long I'll let him sleep with it, but he's only 16-months old, and still wakes up about 2 nights a week, so I think he'll have it for sleeping a little longer. Good luck.

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D.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

We realized that our daughter's dependency on her pacifier had more to do with the pressure built up from her disposition to ear infections (despite having had tubes twice, the fluid is not draining correctly and has caused pressure).

Day care has really been instrumental in helping us wean her, but we feel quite hypocritical because her older brother sucks his thumb, and we've been advised by the pediatrician to allow natural weaning from that. It's a moral struggle why we let him have his soothing mechanism, and she has to have hers taken away.

Restrictions are in place that it's only for bed time. She doesn't get it at all during the day at day care, but they have the ability to sit with her and rub her back to help lull her to sleep.

The people I know who have been successful have limited its availability to bed times, then taking it away at nap and only for nighttime and eventually having the "big kid" discussion about losing it all together - usually with some kind of bribery.

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D.B.

answers from Chicago on

J.,

The best way...cold turkey. My oldest never wanted a pacifier & my youngest LOVED hers. She loved it so much that there was never a fight at nap time and bed time (once she was old enough to ask for it, we only allowed it in bed) because she couldn't wait to get to her bed so that she could have her bink. Then she went with me when I took my older daughter to the dentist. Right away when she smiled at him he said "get rid of the pacifier". I hadn't noticed, but her teeth were starting to come forward at the top. I told him that she only had it for naps & bedtime and he said it didn't matter. Maybe hearing it from the dentist helped, not sure. We went cold turkey because after a few days of crying for it and giving in I realized that if I had one in the house (or car or diaper bag) I would give in and let her have her binky. It really only took two days of cold turkey vs. days and days of trying to get her off and she knew that she wasn't getting it back. In order for cold turkey to work you must throw every single binky out......every single one of them. You will cave...as a mom that's what we do when we see our kids are sooo sad. Good luck, it's really not that bad. My daughter still has a little blanket that she sleeps with and gets every time that she "needs" it...she calls that her binky now. Not sure when her binky went from a pacifier to a blanket, but I'll take the blanket.

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N.O.

answers from Phoenix on

We cut our daughter cold turkey right after her second birthday. It took 2 rough nights and maybe 4 days of her asking for it or about it (the days were not so bad) and then she was over it.

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M.H.

answers from New York on

ah, I did the same thing.
I told my son for a couple of months that the binky fairy starts coming around now looking to pick up binkies and bring them to the new babies.... because he (my son) doesn't need it anymore.....

I just kept telling my son that he is big now and doesn't need the binky, so he should give the binkies to another baby who needs it more than he does....
I would go on about how one day the binky fairy will help him find the new babies who need binkies, if he doesn't already find them on his own...
Whenever we saw a little baby with a binky, I reminded him that maybe the binky fairy gave him/her that binky....
If a baby didn't have a binky, I pointed out how that baby needs a binky and is waiting for the binky fairy to come.

Then when I got to my deadline (2 months later) ...... no more binkies..
My son knawed on his blanket for months after that at bedtime... but it was just not a big deal.... Maybe he had a little whimpering when falling asleep, but just for a day or two.....
I just kept praising him for being so wonderful to the new babies.... that those new babies are so thankful that he gave them his binkies.

Then he moved to needing his blanket more... so now we have duplicate blankets, so I can keep one rotating through the laundry.

I only recommend that you use a completely different binky with the newborn... if it looks and sucks differently... your older son will not bother with it. When my son didn't have his binky, he took each twin's binky... they were a different shape and he spit it right out.
I also told my son that the twins are almost too old for binkies, so those are going to get picked up by the binky fairy soon too...
Then, the twins were cutoff from their binkies shortly after my son... as people told me it is easy to ditch the binky when babies are only 1yr old. They were right.... justs thought I would mention it for your baby #2.
good luck.... :)

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