Seeking Advice on Naptime

Oh N.,

I feel your pain. I had to laugh when I saw your note about "growling like a tiger". Boy, have I felt like this many times when this scenario occurs at my house. It seems related to my own exhaustion level that day.

It sounds like you have a great routine already. You may just need to take a deep breath or even walk out of the room for a few minutes to collect yourself before going back in to deal with your littlest. Babies don't always have reliable sleep schedules/needs and we're the ones who need to be flexible. It's so hard when you're tired!

The advice about laying down and pretending to be asleep is good. That works great with my youngest when she acts like this. Otherwise, just hang in there. This too will pass!

M.

I have no advice, I just want to commiserate with you. You are not alone. My 2 yo naps, but my 4 yo son rarely does now. On the days he doesn't nap, I just unravel at naptime and start snapping. I try quiet time but he always comes in my room. I need a break! I'm excited for him to start afternoon preschool next year so I get a break from both kids a couple of afternoons a week. Of course you can't send the baby to preschool, so I don't know what to tell you. I just wanted to let you know I feel your pain. It made me feel better to know that I'm not the only mom who loses her patience when I don't get a little break from the kids.

I understand the frustration building into anger because you have other things to get to or you're tired, I've experienced that myself - still do on occasion. You have a good routine but it sounds like the baby is changing it for you. Maybe he isn't as tired and needs his nap later.

When you see that it's going to be one of those days, you could try taking your older son to his room for quiet time before you start struggling with the baby (if he's still awake), at least that way he'd be out of the line of fire when you start to get frustrated. And you wouldn't have to explain what's going on, why the baby is crying, etc.

I used to intentionally do things with my girls to tire them out in the mornings so they would nap, neither were good nappers if not manipulated. Swimming is a good one in the summer (if you have a pool) even for babies, lots of walking, big lunch, my youngest liked to do marine style pullups at 9-10 mos so I would encourage her and count them (she could do 20+). If he's still taking multiple naps watch the duration of the morning one, and see if that is causing the afternoon problem. Some people don't like it but you could work on encouraging the younger son to have quiet time as well by putting some toys in his crib and letting him play for a while and then coming back to put him down again a little later. Or setting up a blanket wherever you are and letting him play quietly there.

Falling asleep myself was the trump card, I often would lay her next to me in my bed and let her nurse. I would pretend I was asleep and since there was nothing else to do my daughter would follow suit, then I'd leave her where she was for her nap - they eventually 'pop off'. Sometimes I would fall asleep too, rarely though I was always thinking about what I needed to get done.

You are definately not alone girl! Getting the naptimes synchonized is quite an art, I have to say. I have four kids and have been doing the nap thing for 10 years now. You sound like a bit more relaxed parent than I am, I feel like kids have to fuss a little to go to sleep. My current routine with my little ones, 2 1/2 and 1 year olds, is wear them out in the morning....most days I try to take them outside for a while, the sun usually wipes them out. The one year old usually naps in the morning from about 8:30-9:30 (he's an early riser at 6:30). Big lunch at noon. Upstairs to the bedroom with both at about 12:30 and we draw the shades and read quietly for about 30 minutes. I put down the 2 year old in bed, turn out the light, shut the door. Then I go into the baby room and put my son in his bed and shut the door. They will both protest for about 10 minutes and then (on the best of days) they will both sleep from 1-3. I go straight into my room and lay down for that time too, everyone knows not to call my house during naptime :) Some days my 2 year old will stay awake the whole 2 hours, some days she sleeps so long I have to wake her up at 3....either way, I've had my rest and am a much better mommy and they have had their rest and will last until bedtime at 7. May be a little harsh, but it has worked for our family since my 10 & 8 year old were nap age. My older kids napped until they were about 3 1/2 and then had quiet time in their rooms until they started kindergarten at about age 5. I will still make them go to their rooms to chill out now when they are off school for the summer :)

I never understand parents that say their kids aren't nappers, you have to force some children to rest or they will be miserable kids. So much ADHD is misdiagnosed because of lack of sleep. Oh yeah, I also nursed all 4 kids for their first year of life and co-slept when they were birth-6 months. I always losely followed the BabyWise philosophy of eat-play-sleep so my babies NEVER got milk before bedtime. They NEVER were fed to get drowsy. You have to teach them how to fall asleep on their own. Best advice I ever got and best advice I can give new mommies! It takes some days & nights of tears, from you and them, but the rewards are for the rest of their lives! Good luck and I hope you get some rest soon!!!!

I agree with the previous 2 posters...I have done the same with both my kiddos. It really helps. If they truely aren't tired, it dosn't work and I just have to grin and bear it but if they are, it really works. We co-sleep so this makes it easier. I instruct my 3 year old to not interact with with his sister at this time, because she's tired and needs to sleep, and she'll play around for a bit and then she'll decide she wants her naptime nursies. Sometimes a warm bath, even in the middle of the day helps too. Otherwise I will make a bed for myself in the living room, set her up with a safe area to crawl around and play in, and I'll doze next to her. I at least get some rest this way.