Need Advice on Toddler Naptime

Oooooohhhhhh naaaaptiiiiiiiime. Miss it terribly. My sisters and I call it T-Minus because we so looked forward to a little break in the middle of the day that as the time grew near it felt like we were counting down the minutes... T-minus 30 minutes. Or I can't talk now, we're at T-minus 5 minutes and she still needs some cozies and a fresh diaper!

Sorry for the random, unhelpful thoughts. Okay, when my girls messed around instead of sleeping, I parked myself right outside their room and would walk in every time they made a peep or if it sounded like they were moving around (running, summersaulting, kicking, etc.) and I'd walk in and say it's time for sleep, no more messing around. They'd eventually calm down and hit the hay. The constant moving and messing around would keep them awake even though they were exhausted. Once they allowed their bodies to calm down they would pass out. It wasn't how I wanted to spend their nap time, but they learned that I took no hooey... nap time isn't play time.

She really is too young to forego the naps, so keep at it. Good luck!

Here is some advice I received from the sleep expert I called when my son started resisting his nap (out of the blue) at an even earlier age: First, pull the shades and turn off the light (assuming you don't have blackout shades that will make the room pitch black). Then, read one, and only one, book to your child and one stuffed animal if she has one that's particularly special. Next, give your child a kiss, let her know that you'll be in the house the whole time she is resting, and then leave -- no rocking, no singing, no cuddling, no playing. Anything more can be stimulating to your child, not restful. This process worked the first time I tried it. I had been over-soothing my son before nap time. Also, do not use the word "sleep," as in, "It's time to sleep now." All she needs to know is that it is quiet resting time. Many months later when my son would claim not to be tired, I would tell him that Monkey (his favorite stuffie) was very tired and needed the room to be quiet so he could rest. Just be quiet for Monkey. Inevitably my son would be asleep in just a few minutes. Also, nap time at that age should generally be around 1:00. You can go as early as noon, but do not go later than 1:00. Overtired kids have a much harder time falling asleep because their adrenaline has already kicked in. The book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby," might be helpful. You might not want to follow it to the letter, but the doc who wrote it provides a ton of useful info. He runs (ran?) the sleep center at the U of Chicago Med Center.

Dear A.,
Neither of my kids were day sleepers. They were like that from the time they were infants and I just never fought with them about it. They still had to lay down. I didn't care if they talked or sang or rolled around in their cribs. They were down and they had to stay there. When my kids got older, they still had rest time. I never used the N-word.....nap. I would read a book or make up a story off the top of my head and be still with them until the story was over and it was time for them to rest quietly alone. Rest meant REST. No getting up and playing with toys or coming out of the room until I came to get them. They didn't have to sleep, but they had to rest. My kids actually loved it when I would name bones in their fingers and their arms/legs/feet/toes....I told them they had to rest their bones. They fell for it! In fact, I did a little reverse psychology and told them they COULDN'T go to sleep. Rest your bones, but no sleeping! I swear, I never had to fight with them to lay down. Sometimes they would relax and konk out for a little while, other times they just layed there with their eyes closed or would talk to themselves or their phalanges. (Fingers).
During the day, I avoided the issue of actual sleep all together and both my kids slept all night. Sleep was for night time, but they had to at least rest their bones.
It worked for me, anyway.

Give it a whirl!

Oh, I also wanted to say that if she is pooping at about the same time every day, you may want to adjust rest time. She's almost 2....try putting her on the potty at poop time. No pressure. But, "we sit on the potty and try to go, then we flush, wash our hands, and then it's rest time". Try getting her in the habit of doing that routine, every day, and you might just get her potty trained while you're at it.

Try pushing her nap time back the necessary half hour or so, so she'll have the pooopy diaper beforehand. She may know what's coming, and that's why she's stalling. Generally speaking (from my vast experience with myself and 2 kids) people return to their 'usual' poop schedule given a few days after returning to your daily schedule. Also, sticking with your old routine is the right way to go-- it's what she's used to, so it'll work the best. Hang in there!

Hi A.,
I would start by moving her bedtime early, like 7pm, so she will wake more rested and able to nap. Check out Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth for age appropriate sleep schedules and needs. He breaks it down and gives suggestions for many common sleep problems.My daughter did the same thing around 2 yrs old, even the poopy diaper. No matter what I did she wouldn't nap. I ended up moving her bedtime earlier by 1 hour and giving her quiet time. I hope you aren't experiencing the end of naps as she still needs them. So, again I will suggest the early bedtime for 5-7 days and then re-evaluate the situation. Boy do I miss nap time!
Sincerely,
L.

Since you don't mention what time of day you are putting her down for nap, I'm not sure this advice will help. But, it could be that adjusting the time might be an answer.

I'm not used to a child of 2 being in a crib, so am wondering if a change there would also help.
You have to understand, my recent experience with children is as a daycare provider, and we use cots for napping other than for the infants. If this is something you might be interested in, I recommend a cot made by Regalo. It folds up and goes into a bag just like the fold up chairs that have been so popular in recent years. We got ours through Walmart.com, because they have their ship to store option that saved us about $8 each in shipping costs. They cost us just under $30 each a year ago, which is the same price we'd have paid for any other daycare cot. There are several reasons I like these better than anything else I've seen... they are easier to store because of the fold up feature, and the bed sits higher off the floor than most cots, allowing more air flow around the child, and putting the child up higher for the caregiver to pat backs. This would be a nice investment if you are a traveler or camper too, as you could fold it up and take it along easily. The cots are large enough for a child into the early elementary years. I believe there are two sizes available and that we got the largest. if I remember correctly. Hmmmm I re-read this and realize I sound like a 'salesperson' for Regalo cots. Really... I'm not, but sure wouldn't mind if they'd offer me a commission on them! (I always worry when I recommend things too much, that the next time I need one, it will all be sold out because I sold people too much on them. LOL!!)

My 2.5 year old went through a stretch where I was thinking napping was over. He still needed the sleep, as evidenced by him being no fun to be around late in the day, and by him falling asleep in the car, or on walks, or in front of the TV later. The good news is that it seems to have been just a phase, and he is now back to good naps most days.

I don't know what more you can do besides stick with putting her in her crib. While the curtailing of the nap routine sounds reasonable, I found that when my guy was in his non-napping phase, I had to put in the extra effort to get him to sleep or it just wouldn't happen. I have a baby also, so I couldn't always do it, but if I made him lie in bed and read, read, read to him, he often would fall asleep. The wordiness and rhymes of Dr. Suess worked well. I was surprised to read in the Healthy Sleep Habits book that one of the suggestions for non-nappers at this age was to lie down with the kid. I guess sleep is that important, no matter how you get there.

Of course, it helps if you ensure the toddler gets lots of exercise before nap time.

With my boy, we settled back into napping at a later time, around 2:00 most days. I know there's a danger of getting an overtired kid if you miss the window though.

Hi A.,
My girls are now 2 1/2 and we only do one rest period in the afternoon. We have never used the word "nap" but call it quiet time. Both girls know that at 2:00 pm, they are put in the cribs for quiet time. I tell them they can read books, play with their animals or rest. But they have to be quiet. We started this a longtime ago so that when they out grew the "nap" phase and the crib, they would still be used to quiet time in their beds. From what other Moms have told me, some kids outgrow the need for naps as early as 1 1/2 and others as late as 3 1/2. Your daughter may be ready to eliminate the afternoon nap. You could try not doing it for a few days and see what happens. Nap time may be on a day-to-day basis. Good luck.

Hi A.,
Since I'm known as the "Nap Nazi" around my house (my husband is so helpful with the nicknames), I figured I had to respond. I agree, she's too young not to nap. I also agree with the other moms - maybe moving nap and/or bedtime will help get her back on track, AND maybe cutting down on the pre-nap routine a little will help. If she is over-tired and/or over-stimulated, she's going to have a hard time falling asleep. My hunch is an earlier naptime, coupled with a pared-down routine (as in, change her diaper, put her in bed with her book or whatever, and leave the room) will solve your problem.

My other (I admit, totally off-topic) thought is, if she's pooping at the same time every day, get her on a potty and potty train her! Just think, you can have naptime back AND not have to deal with poopy diapers ever again. Ah, nirvana!

I hope you find something that works - bottom line from where I sit is, don't give up on naptime. Tell her Fancy Nancy takes naps - worked for my sparkly little girls! =)

I am also wondering what time you are putting your daughter down for nap. I went through something similar with my son a couple of months ago, and so I just started putting him down a little later. He used to go down for nap right after lunch (sometimes falling asleep while eating lunch), now I wait until 1:00. Sometimes he is in there playing, but I just tell him as I'm putting him down, he needs to settle himself, he needs to sleep, because that's when he's growing, and he can't get out of bed until he has slept for a while.

Oh, and he is still in his crib at almost 3 years old. When he turns 3 we're going to get a big boy bed. I don't know if he'll stay in it, but I'll worry about that when the time comes (next month).

As for the poopy diaper, maybe put her down after she poops. Oh and I cut down from 3 books to 1 that is a little longer. Also, I pull the blinds before I change my son and start reading. I read with the light on and turn off the light.

Don't know if these small changes will help, but I think your daughter is going through a phase. I don't think the naps are gone for good.

Both of my kids started to resist their nap when they were around 2, even though they usually needed at least an hour in the middle of the day or else they'd be cranky messes by dinnertime. With my first, I would take her out for a long walk right after lunch and she would usually fall asleep in the stroller, and then I could carry her into the house (still in the stroller!) and she'd stay asleep there for another 30-60 minutes. We are in the throes of this problem with the second kid now and what works for us is to go out for a short drive around 12:30 or 1, and when he inevitably conks out in his car seat I can drive home and transfer him to his crib where he'll sleep for an hour or two. Not all kids will sleep through the transfer, but it might be worth a try...for us there is kind of a "window" when he's been asleep for more than 5 minutes but less than 15, and he'll sleep through anything at that point. Good luck!