Rsv - Lawrenceville,GA

Updated on December 19, 2008
M.M. asks from Greensboro, NC
7 answers

I need some opinions...

My niece was diagnosed with RSV on Monday. The Dr told my sister in law that she should be okay to travel 7 hours (one way) to our house tonight (Thursday). She is having breathing treatments and getting up every 30 minutes at night. Instead of asking if I felt comfortable having them come with her, they plan to come. My gut told me to ask my girlfriend, that is a nurse and who's husband is a pediatric respiratory therapist what they thought. They said that she shouldn't come. I then called the pediatrician's office and the nurse said that she wouldn't have them come either. That hygene with 2 and 3 year olds is not very good and that we would be putting the kids health at risk. They all thought she would be contagious during her stay. My husband called to tell my in laws that we talked about it and thought that it was best that they not come. Not only because we didn't want our kids to get sick during the holidays, but because we were thinking of our nieces well being. She got upset and said that we had no faith in her parenting and that we did this to purposely hurt her feelings. We would never do that and I resent that she would think such a thing. Childish. My father in law called back saying that we really hurt her feelings and that I should thank my friend for her little opinion. How did this turn in THIS!? Ugh. My husband ended up begging for her forgiveness and told her that she is right, she doesn't get enough credit for her mothering. (I make an effort to tell her every time that we are with her that she is a good parent!) Then he begged her to come!!!! I am upset because she didn't have enough consideration to call us to see if we feel comfortable having her come. Isn't that what parents do? Isn't it OUR decision whether to not only expose our children to RSV, but in OUR HOME!? It isn't hers to make. I know that the DR said that she wouldn't be contagious, but I don't feel safe with that assessment. Especially when what I read says that it could take 7 days to 3 weeks to get over. AND that it lives on surfaces and is highly contagious. RSV can be quite serious too. She called the Dr this morning (didn't have her physically seen) and they said that she isn't contagious. That they are more concerned about her bronchial tubes swelling up...but they (my inlaws) feel that she is breathing better. My husband told them to come. I told him that IF OUR KIDS GET SICK...HE is staying home with them. WHICH is an incredible task for a man that cannot miss work because he is so busy and IMPORTANT! (Can you hear my resentment?) I love my sister in law, but she is spoiled and this always happens. She overreacts and everyone begs for her forgiveness. And now I am the bad gal for being a responsible parent. I need someone to help me feel as though I was doing the right thing as a parent by asking for another opinion and requesting that they not come. Am I wrong, but isn't it normal practice to ask the parents that could be exposed to make that decision? I am sick about this and want to say my peace, but my husband says to have a good weekend and wait. I don't appreciate being made to feel wrong and that I would do this to hurt her feelings. My children's health is my only concern. Period!

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So What Happened?

I want to say THANK YOU to all of you moms. You have no idea how much the advice of fellow (sensible) moms means to me. LOL. I cannot "update" you on the weekend just yet, but I wanted to take the time say hello, THANK YOU and HAPPY HOLIDAYS! I pray that you and your families are safe and healthy. (Pray that mine remains healthy. LORD HELP ME!)M.

More Answers

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D.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Holidays is such a hard time to be sick. You want to see your family that you haven't seen in a while and boom...your kids get sick. I hear you though. She really shouldn't come and expose you guys to this. I'm one of those parents that wouldn't go over to someone's house if our kids are sick...just wouldn't do it. It's not fair to expose others to sickness. You are right in feeling that way. But, unfortunately you've voiced your opinion even though others didn't 'hear' it. Sadly, your husband should have told his sis the concern. My husband won't let anyone in this house if they are sick and he won't go over to someone else's house if they are sick and that includes his brothers that he only sees once a year. We have to set our priorities...and as you said, yours is your family/kids and it should be.

There is nothing else you can do except start building up the immune system of your own kids. I would give them vitamin C each and every day. Depending on their age/size. My 2yo, when she presents herself with a bit of a runny nose, I give her 2000mg daily and the runny nose stays away. There are other things out there to boost the immune system. We use Beta Glucan (you can get at a health food store). It's awesome stuff!

With RSV, your sis-in-law could give her child colloidal silver in a nebulizer. I've done this for pneumonia and it went away in just a day or two. Love it!

I hope all goes well.

2 moms found this helpful
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T.

answers from Atlanta on

M., I'm sorry. My baby had RSV and I wouldn't wish it on anyone's kids. I also don't go to b-day parties, church, etc when my kids are sick. It's just not fair. You are NOT over-reacting. I would have had the same reaction as you. I would just not let them have too much contact with their cousin and make your opinion clear that you only have your children's best interest at heart. Just play it off as the over-protective, anal mom. I do that all the time...enforcing guest hand-washing when they are infants, etc. They'll roll their eyes, but who can really get mad at an over-protective momma?

1 mom found this helpful
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J.S.

answers from Atlanta on

You are 100% in the right on this and it sounds like your hubby caved in to the pressure of family. He is supposed you be YOUR partner not theirs!!

I think I would stick to my guns on this one. I know she is upset, but don't be afraid to explain why you feel this way. RSV is can be very serious and she should have at the very least ASKED if it was okay.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.A.

answers from Atlanta on

You and your husband were absolutely right in what you did! Your SIL is being very selfish right now to even think abou coming and exposing your children to this. RSV is serious enough that my premature daughter had to have $2400/month shots from oct-april her first year of life beacuse it could have been deadly for her to catch it. Now, it should not be that extreme for healhy 2-3 year olds but it is still extremely bad and h*** o* the kids who get it (as well as the parents taking care of them). I have had to miss family birthdays and holidays because of my daughter being sick, and it is hard. However, I feel better knowing that I'm saving my nieces and even my grandmother from exposure. You are being a good and concerned parent-do not let them make you feel guilty or otherwise!!!!!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.F.

answers from Atlanta on

If my child has a runny nose and we have a play date planned, I warn the other parent and let the decision be theirs. Even if I know my child is not contagious, other parents may not feel that way. It's called common courtesy. Your SIL needs to get over herself. My older daughter had RSV at 18mo and she couldn't go to school for a week. She had breathing treatments and everything, too. There is no way I would let her be around other kids. Your SIL is being a little bit selfish. And your husband should definatley be on your side! And you shouldn't have to fluff her up about how she is a great parent. Sounds like she thinks life is still all about her. She needs to wake up and realize her kid's health is more important and so is the health of her nieces. There are some arguments worth fighting and the health and well being of your children are one of them. I know you gotta do what you have to do and it's not easy. In-laws never are, but whatever you decide, let it be your decision, weigh all the facts and talk to your husband. But you have every right to feel this way, even if you have to take the high road. Just know that most of us moms agree with you. Good luck to you!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Let your husband know that you are making a reservation at a local motel/hotel, go there with your children for the time period, and lock the door!! The kids are your job, usually.
S. B.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Maybe sister-in-law is upset that you asked your girlfriend and also that her dr said that it was ok to travel.I would try as best as you can to keep your kids away from niece and try and keep your keeps from playing with nieces toys and make sure you wash everything niec touches with Lysol wipes and lysol spray.Hope everything turns out ok.How long is sister-in-law visting.Where does Father-in-law live maybe sister-in-law can stay with him.Is there a Mother-in-law in the picture since you didnt mention anything about Mother-in-law

1 mom found this helpful
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