Rant-reading Responses

Updated on October 15, 2011
V.C. asks from Plano, TX
20 answers

Does it bother anyone else that so many responders to questions obviously don't read what has already been posted before they answer?
If I don't have anything different to contribute, I just send a flower to the answers I agree with. It is really irksome to read the same thing over again and again. We are supposed to be sharing wisdom. I often learn something from the responses. Others might, too, if they only read them!

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

It's a public message board where people ask for responses! Many of these questions actually ask how many people feel or don't feel a certain way, so if they get 20 responses all in one camp and two in another, it gives them a pretty good idea of the "average" feeling on their topic. When I post a question, I want as many responses as I can get. If I get 50 that basically tell me the same thing - it's still helpful because I know that many people feel that way, so maybe they're onto something. In cases like the post several days ago where the woman was living with a hothead who is abusing her son and making them all miserable - she needed a wakeup call! I think many of us would have liked to shake her awake! She evidently didn't like all the responses and would rather have her children abused than be a single mom, but posts like hers NEED a lot of answers all saying the same thing. Who knows? Maybe it actually gets through sometime!

16 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

12 moms found this helpful

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I post first and read second, more often than not.

Personally, when I'm asking a question, I'd rather have 30 yes, 4 maybe, 9 no... than 1:1:1.

Same token I have yet to read a response that is turely repeating anyone else's, unless someone is ditto'ing someone else. Which I also find quite useful. Even then, when someone dittos, they usually add something of their own perspective, or continue on from the other person, saving themselves the time/space.

Also, keep in mind, the first 5-10 responders are all posting pretty much simultaneously. Great minds thinking alike is pretty common.

14 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Houston on

i never read first......i want the response to be all me and i tend to pick up on keywords and re-use them......i read afterwards and send flowers.

why are you so picky?.who cares what order we respond?

13 moms found this helpful

X.O.

answers from Chicago on

I usually post before I type, because I want my replies to be my original thoughts, not influenced by other opinions. But, I do go back and read the replies, after I post mine. I love to read the answers, even if they become repetitive.

11 moms found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Houston on

Sorry, I didn't read ahead. In fact I never do. If I feel the need to respond I do. I didn't realize that might annoy someone. I usually read through the responses after I've responded. It doesn't bother me to read responses that are the "same". Maybe this is why I don't respond very often.

10 moms found this helpful

L.L.

answers from Rochester on

It doesn't bother me one bit. I prefer to say what I have to say, rather than just give a "here, here!" and if I happen to repeat, then so be it. I agree with Julie B. that the more responses for one camp, the stronger that camp comes off, etc. I do also give flowers to people who I think make valid points or offer helpful advice, and I send a flower to each and every response I get unless the person is extremely unhelpful. Also...if I took the time to read ALL the other responses to ALL the questions, I wouldn't have time to do this at all.

8 moms found this helpful

ღ..

answers from Detroit on

I am probably REPEATING. Because I dont have time to read what everyone else said.
I personally appreciate people taking the time out to answer my question, even if they didnt have time to read all the responses beforehand. :)

7 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Yes, I really try to read them before I take the time to write out a response. as you do. If they have said What I was going to write, I also send a flower.. Sometimes, I might agree and just add a point.

There have been a few times, I answered and by the time I "post" it.. 3 others have written the same thing but faster than me.

I wish I could then delete my post makes me look like I did not read the other answers.. Oh well.

6 moms found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Lake Charles on

I'm guilty of that if it's something I feel strongly about, but I always say "I may be repeating another poster" mostly I just do what you do.. send a flower or figure someone already said what I would say.. sometimes it helps me if I ask a question and people may answer the same just in a different way..

6 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

I don't always read the other responses, and I don't feel the need to. For one, i think the best advice comes from the heart, before you have had your ideas watered down by reading what others think. Plus, if I ask a question and 3 or 4 people (or more) suggest similar things, that is an idea I will pay attention to.

6 moms found this helpful
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J.W.

answers from Fayetteville on

Victoria, I am like many of the others and will respond to a question without reading other's post until after I have responded. Now if I see a question that has 60 answers then I will most likely will just read the other ladies posts. I know I love it when I get multiple answers, even if they are similar. It lets me know that there is a common thread in the reasoning that they are offering. We are sharing wisdom. That's why I love this site. But sharing means including everyone who wants to offer a voice. That is exactly most of us are on here. And I bet that even includes you.

6 moms found this helpful
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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

Guilty. I almost never read other's responses, UNLESS it's my own post.

I thought this was about info sharing - your ideas, experiences and opinions. If the topic really hits home, I may read through all/some of the posts and send flowers to them too.

When I ask a question, I read ALL the replies and send flowers as a thanks for replying, even if I don't agree.

What bothers me is seeing the same questions come up over and over again! I mean there is a "history" here that's searchable. How many times do we need to read a question about your toddler's sleep issues or a baby who's not eating well?

I don't get upset, just mildly annoyed. So I don't read/reply to most of those posts, just the ones I'm interested in or think I have something to contribute to.

Sorry if my style bothers you. Don't mean to clog up the board.

5 moms found this helpful
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P.D.

answers from Detroit on

I don't usually read ahead. Like pp said, I don't want my answers slanted.

4 moms found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

It doesn't always mean what YOU think it means. I don't usually read responses that have been posted prior to my own unless it's a question that really calls for it so that the other responses don't influence my own response. If that means that it's too similar to other responses, I don't really care if that irks someone. That should just underline the fact that so many people are of the same line of thinking.

I will usually go back and read responses after I've responded. Sometimes I'll adjust my answer, sometimes not. Usually not.

4 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

Victoria:

I typically do NOT read what others have said. If I repeat, sorry...

for the most part, I've not seen people saying the EXACT SAME thing - many of us on here might not agree with a poster so our expressions are the same...others we totally agree with so again the responses are the same.

Sorry you are finding it irksome...I guess I should read your other responses before my post irks you too...

4 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

I only answer questions that I feel that I have a valid response to. Sometimes I repeat what someone else has said to complete the "poll". If I see that someone already has 20 responses, I keep away.

4 moms found this helpful
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L.C.

answers from Dover on

Lots of times, if it's something I am passionate about or have particular experience with, I don't read them, because I don't want other people's responses to the post to influence my own. Then I will read the other responses and add to my edited if I agree or disagree with a particular point.

Sometims, I will read other posts and if I don't have anything to add I won't post.

ETA - I only read the ones I feel I can answer effectively.

3 moms found this helpful
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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Just answering this now, so forgive me if I repeat ;)
I don't read the responses because I don't want other responses to influence me O. way or another.....it's not that it would "change" my response, but just sort of an honesty thing for me.
So if I repeat, sorry if it's "irksome" for you!

3 moms found this helpful

T.K.

answers from Dallas on

It bugs me that people scan the responses, only read the 1st line and then give a flower to everyone they agree with. It's not a poll.

And bother reading the whole response please. You might be missing the part where I say - However. As in, I understand why people think_____ however, I disagree. All people see is the I understand why people think ____ and think I am agreeing with them.

3 moms found this helpful
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