Procrastinating Husbands....How to Make Them Get Things Done!!!!

Updated on August 30, 2010
A.G. asks from Rush City, MN
9 answers

My FH is the biggest procrastinator in the world. My 1st son is now 18 months old and his room is still not done. All it needs is trimboard and a closet door. Im due with a girl in less than 3 months and she does not have a room or nothing yet. I understand he works, but he has the weekends off and always comes up with excuses not to work on the house. There are 3 simple things I have been asking him for over a year now to finish. (1. Put trim board around all doors and windows in house 2. finish sons room and 3. insulate the porch because it collapsed last year) He will be getting laid off soon since we live in MInnesota and he works construction, but he will be ice fishing instead of working on the house. I have tried everything from being super nice, offering sex, refusing sex until he works, etc etc. Anyone have any ideas to get him to finish his 3 things before the new baby gets here???? Im going out of my mind.

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

Tell him if he doesn't get it done then you are hiring someone to do it. And when he doesn't do it follow through and hire a handyman. Hit him in the wallet if you know what I mean.

3 moms found this helpful

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N.P.

answers from San Francisco on

What works for me is when I start to try and do it myself. I noisily gather supplies and start working. He'll rush up to see what I'm doing and complain that he was "going to do it". I'll say something to the effect of, "I was tired of waiting and now I don't care if it's done well or not I just want it done."

Then he'll snatch the tools away from me and get to work. I find that he works better if I hang around in the room with him doing my own project. Not all guys are the same though. Some don't want you in the way but mine seems to work better when I'm working along side him on something or other. I guess it's a case of "misery loves company" or something.

Once when there was a leak under the bathroom sink and I had to turn off the valve to the hot water in our bathroom, he promised to fix it but months went by and I had to wash my face in the kitchen. I finally got sick of it and when he was sitting downstairs on the couch watching a show, I waited for a commercial before plopping the phone book down on the coffee table and dialed a plumber I found in the yellow pages. Following conversation:

"Hi! Yes, do you fix leaky bathroom sinks?... You do? That's wonderful! How much do you charge for a small drip at the U bend? $50 an hour?..."

My husband perked up and started gesticulating at me to hang up. I continued my conversation:

"... well I'll have to discuss it with my husband and get back to you. Thank you so much for your time!" *click*

"Yes dear, what do you want?"

And then he'd explode about me calling and wasting money on a plumber when he could fix it for free blah blah blah. Then I said, "I've waited over two months for you to fix it and I'm sick of washing my face in the kitchen with a hand mirror. Do it by Monday or I'll hire someone and take the money out of the savings.

Then I got up and went upstairs. Sink fixed two days later. I would have paid for it if he hadn't done it too. There's more than one way to skin a cat. If your husband won't do the work. Take his fun money and pay someone else to do it or attempt it yourself.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.F.

answers from Reno on

Here's how my stepmom handled my dad on house fix-it chores...

There was a ceiling fan that needed some work (it rattled). My stepmom mentioned it and my dad blew her off. The next week, my stepmom mentioned it again, this time with a deadline (the end of the week). My dad blew it off again. The next time my stepmom mentioned it, it was to tell my dad that the handyman had been by and the bill for his services was on his desk, due immediately. My dad learned that he had to choose between doing it himself or paying the bill.

Perhaps price quotes from 2-3 handymen/contractors for the remaining work would startle your husband out of his apathy? I think it would be very embarrassing for a man in construction to have to pay someone to do work he could easily do himself.

In the meantime, I would order a crib, a dresser and a changing table. Those you will need, whether or not your husband steps up to the plate. I would just plan on hiring someone to assemble it, just for your peace of mind.

OH! Another thought. Try doing it yourself. Maybe seeing his very pregnant wife struggling to do his work would snap him out of it. (Obviously don't do anything to endanger the baby.) My husband refused to mow the front lawns when I was pregnant with my second son, so I pulled out the mower and got to work. My neighbor across the street chewed my butt off for doing such a thing. Well, that fool sat in his man cave (garage), WATCHED me mow my lawn and then chewed my husband's butt off for not taking proper care of his woman. My husband never forgot to mow the lawn again (until after the baby was born <wink>)!

Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful

M.L.

answers from Houston on

procrastinate making his dinner and doing his laundry :)

really, I would just tell him this is really stressing you out, and it would be a wonderful gift he could give to you and the children to finish these things so that all can be done before the baby comes, when you will have a lot of pain and hectic schedules and tired nights.

Or, just go out and start putting windows in yourself... do them wrong and he'll have no choice to jump in and help. Or, tell him you hired a contractor...

2 moms found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Rockford on

Hire contractors and take the money out of his ice fishing allowance.

1 mom found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Open the yellow pages and call a contractor--or two--or three. Get quotes/bids for the work. Show them to hubby and see which O. he wants to do the job. That will get him going.

1 mom found this helpful
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T.A.

answers from Toledo on

If I had the answer it I would bottle it and sell it!!! I would be a millionaire!!! Good luck!!!

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C.B.

answers from Tampa on

Do you have the funds to hire someone to do these things for you or is there someone in the family that would do it? Having someone else do it may just light a fire under him. If not, well then he's lazy and you need to be tougher with him

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C.M.

answers from Dallas on

Hmmmm....when you get the answer, would you let me know???? :-)

Good luck!!!!

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