I just went through the exact same feelings just one year ago at this time. I understand exactly how you feel. I think the hardest part is the worry itself. But really, though, your daughter will be fine. When my younger son was born this past January, my older son didn't understand what was going on. Now, though, six months later, he is literally just starting to understand that he is the big brother now and said, "Goodnight Baby Brother!" for the first time, all on his own tonight!!! :) While I was pregnant, I did a lot of reading about what to do and how to balance taking care of both because I was so worried about it. Like the previous Mom said, definitely have your older one spend a few minutes here and there with some independent time toys. Throughout the whole time of having your baby at home, be positive for your older one and spend time with her while baby is asleep-SO important so she knows Mommy is there with her and loves her just like before, but now there is a new baby for all of us to love. Involve her with baby's care, even if it's "Thank you for being such a good helper!" (even if she doesn't do much-it helps her feel important!:) Other things that helped me while I was feeding and pumping (still do now-I had to pump exclusively for 6 months and just starting the weaning process) are: don't be afraid to pop in a video...Baby Einstein and Kipper the Dog are good ones. The library would probably have some DVDs you can rent for free-We go there about once a week and get new ones all the time. Have some new fun toys (or stuff you've put away and get back out after awhile) in a basket ready for independent play time--you will see they grow more and more independent as the months go by. You will learn to trust your instincts and figure out who needs you the most at a certain time. Put the younger baby in the Moby wrap (that thing was my best friend in the early days) and later on the Baby Bjorn and Ergo (I use both now) while feeding your older one and doing tasks. I take my showers in the early morning before hubby goes to work. Start freezing food NOW by making double batches of stuff like lasagna, enchiladas, etc. or use Dream Dinners (that prepared stuff you can make and freeze) so you have stuff prepared ahead of time and can pop it into the oven. My baby is now 6 mo.old and it's finally starting to get easier. You will have good days and bad days. The hardest part is, you can't sleep when the newborn is asleep because you have the older one to take care of. Later on, you are able to get into a routine, try to aim for some overlap with their afternoon naptime (my older one has an afternoon nap.) so you can try to catch some zzz's. Trust me, it's not easy in the beginning, but you can do it!!! I had a repeat C section on top of it so my recovery was tough and I couldn't lift my toddler in the beginning for a couple weeks but it was easier recovering the 2nd time around. I also had my niece (college-aged) come over to help 3x a week to do chores and help with my older one, etc while I recovered from my csection and up to now. That also helped tremendously. Now that my baby is a little older, my next goal is to get out there and start meeting Moms with kids that are my son's age so I can get out of the house more. I'm really excited for my boys as the years go by for them to be able to be playmates and best buddies. Anyway, hope this helps! Sorry it was so long! :):) Don't worry, you can do it, and it will all be okay, and you will have a wonderful new sibling for your daughter to love!!!
