Peeing in Room

Her mess = she cleans. Maybe you can warn her ahead of time that SHE will have to clean it up if she does it again. Go through all the steps from blotting to shampooing to drying and wet/vac it up. You can even show her to put the wet clothes in the washer. Don't do it for her except to show her the first time. Be consistent, and I bet by the third time she has to clean, it will stop. GOOD LUCK!

That is a control issue, not a pee issue.

She must feel like she has no control in her life and/or no way to communicate her feelings to go to this extreme. I think a good counselor to help you (the parents) and her communicate more effectively, will provide insight & results.

Listen Listen Listen. She is trying to tell you something.

Have you made her scrub the floor after she pees on the floor? Maybe if she realizes she has to work and scrub up her mess she will think twice before doing it again.

Ha! I am so sorry, I find this hilarious from a bystanders point of view. Please forgive me my moment of smirk at your child's defiant independent wild nature! I have to admire her strong will and gaul from a former hard headed brat that I was myself. And on an equally bratty note, try giving her a pee-can! Ha! 'Chamber pot' on a sort of non-confrontational so 'here you go' type attitude. In other words, defuse the situation. Best way to deal with these hard heads. From one hard head to another!

Thanx, T.

First of all: Make her clean it up! After 2 hours of cleaning up her mess she will stop! p.s. don't let her see you cleaning up after she has tried! I have this issue with my 3 year old son and 1 week of him cleaning up pee, he goes to the bathroom! Also, don't send her to her room for punishment, sit her in the hall where she cannot see the tv but you can see her and make her sit there for 5 minutes with no stimulation. If she moves, talks, runs, the time out starts over. Keep putting her back, she will get the message that you are the Mom not her!

hi...i suggest maybe making her clean and scrub the carpet everytime she pees on it and maybe putting her in the shower to rinse herself off everytime she does this...good luck

Buy her a toy and then say if you don't pee in your room then you can have this toy.(I would wait for about two weeks)Hope this helps

Giving a reward for not peeing on the carpet sounds like a good idea. That, and don't overreact when you find she's done it as she may be trying to get your attention, even though it is negative attention. Also, you could try googling "enuresis," if you think it may be emotional. Are there a lot of stresses at home or at school?

Hi D., it sounds to me very much like a psychological thing going on. It sounds like both of you have gotten into a pattern that incites the peeing. Have you thought of other disciplinary options rather than sending her off to her room alone? What is inciting you to send her off to her room? How often do you do that? A neat book I read is called "how to talk so your kids will listen, how to listen so your kids will talk." To a certain extent she has found a route to push your buttons even more and I think she knows that. The peeing in part could be her passive aggressive way of protesting your behavior OR, it it could be a nonverbal way of calling your attention to her again - maybe asking for help with something that is bothering her. Another thought - maybe she is scared of being in her room? Another thought - does she have good bladder control at other times of day or does she actually pee a lot during the day as well? Sometimes uncontrolled peeing is a sign of a urinary tract infection. For me, for some reason, your story is raising some worry flags in my gut, I don't know why. You said that there are other children in the family, how old are they? There is a bathroom connected to her room, is it connected to anybody else's room? Is it possible that someone could be coming in to bother her in her bedroom once she is there? Well, I just have more questions than answers but maybe they will lead you to consider some different angles. Good luck!

I had a friend that gave her son cool showers to clean up after he intentionally peed somewhere other than the toilet. It seemed to work well, and he HATED them. I agree that she should have to clean up her own mess, though.

Also, I would try other methods of discipline rather than sending her to her room. Send her to time-out on the bathroom floor, at least then it would be easier to clean up.

It sounds like she is very HARD HEADED to say the least.
It also sounds like a manipulation tactic to show you that if you are 'mean' to her by making her stay in the room, that this is the punishment you will get.
You better nip that in the bud right now or she will run over you big time when she is a teenager because it just gets worse.
I am sorry that I don't have the answers. I would probably wear her little butt out so hard she couldn't sit down for a week. So I am not sure what to tell you. I just know that wouldn't go over in my house. I would talk to the pediatrician or see if you can find a free counselor somewhere for advice or maybe some other moms on here will respond with some good answers.
Best of luck.

MAKE HER CLEAN IT HERSELF! Nothing like taking the fun out of something to make it stop! Talking never does much good-don't be afraid to be the boss-kids require boundaries and will do anything to get them!

Obviously, she is trying to "pay you back" or "punish" you for punishing her. try making her scrub the pee out of the carpet herself. Of course at 5 yo, she won't do a very good job, but you can redo the cleanup job, when she's not around. Once she realizes she is being held responsible for her actions, punishing herself, instead of you, she should stop. Make sure you tell her in a calm even voice, too, don't loose your cool in front of her, as it may be worth it to her just to know she can "push your buttons" even if she does have to clean it up herself. If that doesn't work,another thing you might try is covering her whole floor with plastic sheeting and old newspapers until she out grows this stage of rebelloin. You should still make her clean it up herself, but will save your carpet. At 5, she will soon get embarrassed explaining to her friends why her floor is like that, and stop.

Whatever you choose to do, be consistent with it. For me, I'd give her a spankin' and make her clean it up. That's just gross. That's what dogs do. That's what babies do. You should let her know that she is neither of those and that you expect her to be the big girl that she is.

Have you taken her to a therapist? It sounds like there is a deep rooted problem that she isn't able to communicate. Maybe giving her a timeout in the living room corner, where you can see her, would make a difference. But if she's only peeing in her bedroom when being sent there for disciplinary purposes, it's something deep rooted. I agree with Laura. There is something psychological going on and it's deep rooted. Lots of people don't believe in counseling for children. But times are different than when we were growing up. The same disciplinary tools that worked on us, just don't work for our children. Mine are 20, 19, 16, and 13. The earlier you can get in counseling, the sooner you'll be able to prevent problems from developing. Be blessed.

I agree with other moms that this is a control issue. She's 5 years old and knows better. I recommend taking her to the doctor to make sure it's nothing physical and then have some mom-and-me time. Talk with her and make sure she knows you love her but do not like it when she does that. Good luck!

Because your daughter is often demonstrating this behavior following being punished, I would consider the purpose of her behavior to be revenge... which most often follows a lost power struggle.
Preventing a win-lose outcome to power struggles can be an effective way to solve the problem.... and can be achieved by stating your bottom line, non-negotiable limit (your win) and then offering choices within that limit (child's win).

The root of all revengeful behavior is HURT...
So, when revengeful behavior does occur, an effective and helpful way to respond that will not escalate the situation or give the behavior a payoff would be to first acknowledge the child's feelings or perspective (because until this is acknowledged and resolved, the child will continue to express his/her feelings through revenge)... then communicate the limit.
"I can tell that you are upset and angry, but peeing on the carpet is unsanitary and is not an appropriate way to express your feelings....
Would you like to talk to me about how you feel about what happened?... Do you understand why I did that?... What do you think we could do next time?
AFTER addressing the hurt that caused the revengeful behavior, THEN you can deal with the way the child expressed the hurt.

Except from the book, "The Parents Toolshop".....
"... we can simply point out the emotional consequences of revengeful behavior...
'When people feel hurt, they often hurt back, which only creates more hurt and doesn't solve the problem'.
If children damage something, we can show them how to make amends.... If possible, we want to use Problem Solving to reach this agreement. If we tell them what they WILL do, we can start a new power struggle or revenge cycle. The trust level is still shaky, so we need to carefully choose our attitudes, words, or actions.... "

Hope this helps!

S.

PS - if you want to learn more about the Parents Toolshop resources (which I just quoted above) including FREE parenting teleseminars, and tele-classes in which you can engage in brainstorming/problem-solving sessions with the author and other participants check it out at... http://www.parentstoolshop.com

There is also a new, first time offered...
T.I.P.S. Tele-Class (for parents of children ages 1-18). 8-week Tues. evening series. 7-9 p.m. EDT + optional 1/2 hour FREE Brainstorming Bonus session each week!

* I mention this because I have worked with Jody to help ME to solve many parenting challenges that I have experienced and have felt SO thankful for the benefits of her guidance.... and I thought that perhaps, if you haven't found a solution that works, you may try bringing it to one of the brainstorming/ problem-solving sessions.

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Sounds like she is doing it to get attention.Get her a training potty for her room and tell her since she wants to be a 'little girl' she can use the 'little girl' potty.If she wants to be a 'big girl' then she should and can use the 'big girl' potty..see if that works.Specially is she is going to start school in the fall if she hasnt already..good luck..
S. B