Outing myself.....need Divorce advice.....urgent

I'm surprised you only have 2 responses. While I was not in your particular situation, I have been through a divorce. The first thing you need to do is consult with an attorney. I know you say you don't care about the money, but you will change your mind. I'm sure he is a great guy, but rignt now he is manipulating you. Please don't let him do that. He can fight for custody, but that will be difficult. He really has to prove you unfit. You are entitled to half of everything, including his savings, 401K, everything. And you deserve it and will need it. Don't worry about the fact that he makes more than you and has a savings. The savings is half yours and so is the house. I know you want to be able to get along with him, but just know that in the beginning, that probably won't happen. And that's ok. When I went through my divorce, it took probably 2-3 years before we could really get along. Not that we fought all the time or ever in front of our daughter, but we did fight and it could get very ugly at times. But for the last 7-8 years, it's been much better.

Call Dennis Brewer, Jr at ###-###-####
He is in Irving and he is WONDERFUL! He will guide you and help you make the best decisions for you and your children. His web site is:
http://www.brewerjackson.com/attorneys/

Good luck and remember, you HAVE to look out for you and your children. That is the most important thing. Don't let your husband manipulate you. You are very vulnerable right now.

Dear Diane,

Ditto on Sherry M.s comments! I've been through Divorce myself and my ex was totally cheating on me, he also tried the scare tactics and sweetness to try to take the kids away and leave me pretty much homeless and kidless. He even called my boss and asked him to fire me because I was going to Divorce him. You need a good attorney that is going to take care of you, advise you, and not let you make the biggest mistake of your life. He is probably not a good guy like you want to think. Your attorney can make your ex pay for some or all of your attorney fees as part of the final settlement, and sometimes even in the interim. DON'T SIGN ANYTHING! Consult a good lawyer.

I recommend you John Haugen at the Haugen Law Firm. Their website is HaugenLawFirm.com, phone # ###-###-####.

Best wishes and God bless!

I live in Denton county. I also have three kids and was blindsided by my ex when he wanted out of the marriage. I gave him 6 months (he partied the whole time and dated!) and then took matters into my own hands and served him with papers. I did end up with the house, but I ended up spending about 10K on my divorce to fight him for various things. If you have documented the affair and strongly feel that it is in the best interests of your kids to limit their time with him, then try and fight for custody. I realize that he may have more money than you but don't underestimate the court system in that "he" is the one who is committing adultery and has "nude" pics of the other person. That says a lot to his character. What if one of your kids found that photo?

I, too, wanted to be able to get along with the father of my kids, but he makes it next to impossible by calling me names and cursing at me. You may want to get along with your ex, but consider that if he really cared for your feelings, he would not have led you on for these 3 months. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Hang in there and I hope you have a good support system.

wow, i'm surprised I am the first to respond. I don't have a recommendation for a lawyer. I wanted to suggest you speak to a trusted source, like a wise family memeber, minster or counselor if you can afford it. Sounds like you are holding onto the idea of marriage and perhaps someone can help you understand why. Also, a mediator might be able to help you sort out (with your husband) the custody? I think you have to be proven an unfit parent to lose custody. Finally, I suggest seeking assistance from legal services groups who provide free or reduced cost so you can be prepared for anything your husband tries to pull. BTW, I think most divorces feel like hell at least in the beginning. But perhaps things calm down after a while. Sorry that you are going through this at the holiday.

Seek a consultation with a lawyer ASAP!!! Texas is a community property state so don't think that you don't have a right to the house or money or savings. You guys were married for 10 years, he doesn't get to just take it all. I know a great lawyer in Denton county and would be happy to pass the info on, but you are probably better off looking for someone who knows the judges and court system in Collin county. Most, if not all lawyers, will do an initial consult for free.

I am an attorney (not family law), but I would strongly recommend that you find an attorney who practices regularly in the family law courts in the county where you live. I know that others have recommended good attorneys, but I cannot stress enough how important it is to have an attorney who regularly practices in the court in your county. Also, make sure he/she practices in family law. I have a friend whose father hired a high-powered expensive team (some of the lawyers who defended OJ Simpson), but they were criminal attorneys, and did not really know much about family law. Spent a lot of money and did not get a good result.

I have to say that....unless you really think that there is a way to save the marriage, it pretty much does not matter that you don't want it. And even if you try to make it work, you may just be that much more hurt and angry.

I will say that if you fight through a divorce, both parties (and the kids) usually lose and only the attorneys win. If it can be done amicably (even if you don't want it), that will probably be the best way. Do talk to an attorney, but don't let others talk you into "fighting." If he is involved in other things, he is probably not interested in custody (unless it becomes a battle, then he might be interested, just to win).

Sorry you are going through this. Hope you find some peace for yourself