Out of Sight, Out of Mind?

I wouldn't say anything but I would keep reaching out. There is truth to the "out of sight, out of mind" thing. Just keep trying. You will maintain friendships with some and lose sight of others, but it will be less frequency. When you get a full life in AZ you will also think of them less..... that's my experience.

Welcome to AZ! We have family that just moved to Maricopa from MT, they are snowbirds. Its about 45 min from Gilbert. Anyway, yes, its out of sight, out of mind. I would just keep commenting on FB at least, that is a good way to stay in touch, even if they don't respond back. If they are "friends" that you had a history with, at least you can make an effort and facebook makes that easy enough to do. But I would stop emailing and texting, you don't want to look desperate and its hard to accept that maybe they dont want to put in the effort so just let it go. Good luck and I hope you meet new friends in Maricopa. =)

When you move, you pull up roots from one place and send down roots in another.
Your leaving will have created a void for some old friends and they will fill it with someone else.
Sometimes it's best to just look forward and make new friends in your new area.
Don't burn the old bridges, but some of your old friends might be just on your Christmas card list for awhile and then gradually drop off.

I moved away from home 11 years ago, and my friends' effort at maintaining our friendship has been quite surprising. Some of those that I was inseparable with in high school, I rarely hear from them. They are busy. Some of those that I was just casual friends with, I now interact with on a daily basis, and I have come to know them much better than I ever could have hoped to. Some of those who I barely knew have become my closest.

What I realized is that when I was putting so much effort into trying to maintain the friendships of those who didn't reciprocate, I was really causing myself stress, and it was preventing me from building a life HERE with new friendships. Over the past few years I have stopped initiating contact, and just make sure to send Christmas cards to those who seem too busy. Instead, I have focused on making new friends here. It took me 10 years, but I FINALLY have a few close girlfriends here that I can rely on, and who can rely on me.

In the time we've been married, we have moved three times. With each move, I have noticed that the majority of friends just disappear as soon as you are no longer a presence in their lives. Unfortunately, I've been guilty of that as well when I've moved (especially when I'm working to rebuild a support system in the new location). One of the things I've noticed is that the people who slip away quickly, while great people and a good support system in the flesh, are in many ways just superficial relationships. Once you're gone, no longer moving in the same circles, not able to give and take in the relationship in a tangible way, it just goes away. That does not mean that the good feelings you or they have towards each other are gone, it's just the glue that held the relationship together that is no longer there. As hard as it is to watch this happen, I've found it helps to not think of it as a reflection on me personally but to try to think of it as a season of life that has passed that I look back on with fondness and appreciation. By that same token, it really makes me appreciate the old friends who stick around no matter how many moves we make or how much our respective situations change. It's a rare friend who stands by no matter what.

Well, where a door closes, a window opens. Make an effort to stay in touch within your comfort level, remember that time in your life fondly, then look forward to and embrace the new possibilites in your new place!

:)

T.:

Ouch. I would say move on. Their loss.

friendship is a two-way street and both parties must participate in it to make it work. You've reached out. Now it's their turn. If they don't - again - their loss.

I hope you can let go of the past - as right now it appears that is where these "friends" want to stay. Make new friends. Make new memories there in AZ!! ENJOY!! Don't let the others bring you down!!

To answer your question, move on. We have experienced this after our short move from Dallas to Houston. We don't really hold a grudge or make more out of it than it is.
Busy lives engulf us all and require focus on the home front.
Don't get me wrong, this isn't the case in every friendship you/we have. My wife still has daily contact with some college friends from 20+ yrs ago.
Embrace the opportunity to forge ahead. Hope you're enjoying AZ, we did for sure.

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most friendships are based on convenience and proximity. this is a very natural progression. yes, out of sight does usually mean out of mind. the friends who stick around are ones who will be closer and longer lasting.
and that's a good thing.
i mean, there are only so many hours in the day, right? how many close friendships can you realistically nourish?
khairete
S.

People get busy with their present on this block life and sometimes forget that you now feel diconnected from everything your comfortable with and need the same relationship sans the facetime from before. A lot of times they are looking at the fact that you can't have the same appreciation of the current things happening because you didn't see them happen to rehash them. Keep talking to them but get in touch with new people in your new place time to form new bonds.

Yes it's usually out of sight out of mind. If you want to continue the friendship then make the effort to call or text. One of my brothers lives in Australia and we use to talk a couple times a month when he lived across the country. Now that he's move to another country our communications have changed and they aren't as frequent but we still make the effort to talk to each other.

I know just how you feel. I have a friend or two just like this. It was so hard when one in particular moved to Montana. We even took a vacation there a couple of years ago. She hardly ever responds to any messages I left. So I just came to the realization that this is the way it is supposed to be. She had to start an antidepressants after moving there because it was so hard for her to make friends in the new ward. She really tried, this is a woman who is talented, hubby makes really good money, and they have a wonderful family.

I felt bad for a while but then when I started thinking about it, she needed to make new friends so she could get a new "friend" family established. I haven't called her in about 8 months. I am friends with her and the rest of her family but as for picking up the phone and chatting...it's just not going to happen anymore.

Email and facebook work two ways, both sending and receiving, right?

Sad, huh. We so long to stay connected to those that shared happy times with us but it just seems like so many people are willing to just let it go.
My experience is that I make an effort and if it isn't reciprocated, to let go and when one door closes, a window opens !

While I don't want to discourage you, my experience of growing up in the military has shown me that most people do not stay in touch. A few will. But they are the exception. FaceBook has made it much more convenient for people to keep up so that's a nice help. If there is someone with whom you would REALLY like to keep in touch with, make an effort until you are done making the effort. You can't live with any bitterness, though. You will make new friends, too!