Not Physically Attracted to My Husband

A.:

Go to the gym with him. Don't just ASK him to go. GO WITH HIM! Find a gym that has child care services so there is no excuse.

Go for a walk with him. Do things outdoors as a family to promote overall health.

Start making his lunches for work so they are healthier.
Fix healthier meals at home - less fried foods, less white carbs...after dinner go for a walk around the block - let the dishes set. They will be fine...they can be done when you get back.

Go on bike rides together...you are in MN - go skiing together...canoeing...get the whole family moving and exercising...show him how much you love him HEALTHY!!!

Good luck!

"Hey babe, let's go for a run."
"I was thinking--maybe we should go bowling for our next date."
"Oooh, it is so nice outside today--let's pull our bikes down from the rafters, pump up the tires, and go for a ride."
"I tried a new mashed potato recipe...what do you think? Good, right? Guess what? They're CAULIFLOWER, not potatoes!"

At first I thought this title was horrible, but I get what you're saying. Thank God my husband loved me enough even when I weighed a LOT!! I had gastric bypass surgery back in October and have dropped 98 pounds so far, but he loved my 98 pounds heavier too, and always let me know it.

My husband has also put some weight on in our almost 9 years of marriage. We are both working hard to get the weight off, eating healthier, moving more, etc. Maybe the gym isn't his place. What about taking the kids to the park and being active with them instead of sitting and watching them? Or how about going to the zoo or some nature trail and walking? Bowling? Golf? Anything movement helps I think.

Just start making major changes in your own lifestyle. Don't buy crappy foods, go to the gym, comment on how great you feel, and just keep asking him to come to the gym, go walking, go biking, whatever.

It might also help to have a serious sit down conversation with him about how you're concerned with his health. Is there anyone in his family with heart problems? High BP? Other health issues? You can let him know that you are worried that his current lifestyle will take years away from you....years that you can be active together, love on one another, and grow old together.

How about go the healthy route. Let him know that you are concerned about his health.

Offer adult favors as an incentive.

Works like a charm! ;)

I would tell him you are worried about his health and his current sedentary lifestyle. You've noticed he hardly goes to the gym anymore. I would suggest an activity you can both do together. My DH gained a bunch of weight a few years ago and we had a similar disconnect. If he won't meet you at the gym, then meet him where he is. Take a walk as a family. Go for a bike ride. Do a workout video at home. It does matter. It does make a difference. Further, if my DH doesn't work out regularly (he was a runner from long before we met), he gets cranky and who wants to make love to someone who snapped at you all day? Further, things like going for a hike can encourage camaraderie, communication, companionship and friendship. All good things.

You can also decide to cook better. My DH does a modified South Beach diet. We don't do all of it as a family but we do some, like reduced fat cheese. If the family dinner is high calorie, high fat then do something about the food in the house. For everybody's sakes. He is our main cook, so he dragged us all into his new kitchen, and it's been fine.

And sometimes there's nothing wrong with saying, "If you work out with me, I'll give you a nice long massage later...naked." Find what motivates your man and use it.

Sorry SEX is on my brain right now. Sex actually burns tons of calories. Maybe have more sex and make him do all the work. If he gets out of breath on his own it may convenience him to get into better shape.

Updated

Sorry SEX is on my brain right now. Sex actually burns tons of calories. Maybe have more sex and make him do all the work. If he gets out of breath on his own it may convenience him to get into better shape.

Really!? How would you feel if your husband said this about you?

My husband gained 100 lbs after our first daughter was born because of stress and over eating. Not once did I ever lose my attraction to him or even consider asking him to lose weight FOR ME. So far he has lost 23 lbs in 3 1/2 months. It's been difficult for him. But I made it happen by changing what we buy and eat (since I cook all of it). I tell him constantly how much I love him AND how he looks. And I encourage him to eat healthy and be more active. THAT is how you should be approaching this.

This is going to be a rough forum for you to get the answer you are looking for as each one of us has had our husbands still love us when we were fat with baby weight at one or more times in our lives. Maybe you should try a fitness based forum. For real.

I saw this the other day. It is well thought out and kind:

Help! I'm No Longer Attracted to My Overweight Spouse
http://www.joebeam.com/not_attracted_to_overweight_spouse...

I have a job where I sit at a computer 90% of the time. I have found that if I go out for lunch, before long, I have gained a ton of weight. If I bring my lunch then the weight comes off without much effort.

I suggest that you try to get him to take his lunch rather than to eat out every day. If you can get him to do that and maybe not drink alcohol, I bet he would lose a lot of weight without ever having to go to the gym. Alcohol and restaurant food pack the weight on.

I had lunch the other day with a former collegue. She was laid off 2 months ago. Since she's been home and not eating out (she used to eat lunch and dinner out daily) she has lost a ton of weight, and has not made any effort other than not going out to eat. It really makes a huge difference!

LOL @ your last comment! :)

You set the example and him seeing the fit and sexy "you" can motivate him. Share "creative" ways for him to work out with you. Hint, hint! ;-)

AV, I like your last comment about using what motivates your man and using it!

I thought that my uncle and aunt had a cute way of doing it. They would joke about who would catch whom while chasing each other through the house. The out-of-shape one would be caught quickly and easily or not be able to catch the other.

Maybe you can ask him how he's feeling, how he's enjoying his new job...wanna make sure that the weight gain is not because he's unhappy or feeling unhealthy. If he expresses that he's feeling unhealthy, then ask him what you can do to help him out. If he says that he's fine, then take matters into your own hands and just change up the meals around there...pull him outside for walks when you have time (evening catch-up chats).... If he gets winded, tell him that that means that he's out of shape and should work walking more into his schedule. So he can keep up with you. Because, otherwise, he won't be able to catch you when he chases you around the house.