Neighbour's Deep Wading Pool

Call the owner of the home directly. The owner is liable for whatever may happen on her property. Can a cover be installed over the pool? I'm all for watching one's children like a hawk, but hey, accidental drownings happen in a split second. I know because my fireman brother has had to go out on calls for children drowning in unfenced/uncovered pools. What a nightmare.

I guess I am the one who is going in with a different approach? First off - and maybe I am an overprotective mother - but why are toddlers being allowed to play outside of any parents sight? Maybe I misunderstood how you wrote it, but I couldn't imagine my toddlers out of my sight and playing by themselves?

Anyways, we have one of the little wading pools in our yard with no fence on either side. All the parents in our neighborhood are very good about watching their own children. They are all aware that we have the pool there, but it is our yard. As far as mosquitos... I dump the water every 2 days and clean it out thoroughly. Also, if I know we are exepcting bad weather then I clean the pool and put it away so that it isn't collecting rain water as well.

Not sure I am helping you in anyways, I guess the obvious to me was why are toddlers out of sight of their mother/father?

Good Luck with your situation.

It's her yard. How would you like it if people started dictating what you could and couldn't do in your own yard? Children need to be supervised. There is absolutely no reason why these children should be outside playing by themselves, even at the age of 5 & 6. I don't think you, or your neighbors, have an rights here. It sounds like you just don't like this woman and are finding way to get kind of nit picky about what she does. The parents need to be supervising their children. They need to explain to them that that yard and pool are off limits.

I'm with Proudmamma. And maybe I've misunderstood too. But yes, it is a concern to any parent with small children but why would a parent let their small children outside without adult supervision anyways? My youngest just turned 4 in May and I allow him to be out back with his almost 10yr old sister or if hubby and I are out doing yard work he won't be in our line of sight the whole time but he knows not to leave the back yard without permission.
IMHO it is her right to have a kiddie pool up too in her back yard and I hope that maybe she is keeping an eye out that no one goes near it because it would be tragic if an accident would happen.

My yard isn't fenced and we have a 12ft enclosed trampoline, a swing set and during the summer a blow up water slide and a 3ring blow up octogane pool that are up and down all summer. I keep an eye on my back yard because there are parents around us that don't!

Good luck
S.

Proudmamma said it best.........why would small children be without adult supervision.........I see you live in New York and to be quite honest with you, in New York sharing is not caring and I don't exactly know how it works with row houses, but I would recommend speaking to all of the neighbors and getting a variance to erect fences......she is a renter and even if she moves there will always be a shared yard.......I suggest you give the landlord a ring and explain what is going on because anything bad happens with that pool and the landlord will be liable.....good luck........nothing worse than a crappy neighbor with no fence for seperation......

You don't say if these houses are owned or rented. If she is renting perhaps talking with her landlord might help. If she has a husband or boyfriend living with her, it might help for a husband or boyfriend to talk with him. Men do seem better able to resolve issues at times. There are usually less feelings involved.

I would also check with local city ordinances to see if there is a law against leaving a pool accessible to neighbors in such a situation with water in it

I had a wading pool in my yard for my grandchildren and we didn't leave the water in it for longer than a day or two because the water would get dirty with grass clippings. A couple of times I left the water in it for a week and the bottom and sides got slimy with algae. Eventually we just stopped using the pool because it required too much work. You might just wait and see if she does keep it out and full for any length of time.

There is a web site and a book entitled Non-violent Communication that has been mentioned often on this site. I think this would give you ideas on how to approach her. She sounds like someone who is quick to take offense and who doesn't want anyone telling her what to do. I've dealt often with this sort and have found it helps to not ever tell them directly what you want. Educating works better.

You'll have to wait awhile now that she's "up in arms" but you might try mentioning having read about how small children drown in a bucket of water and how concerned you are for how she'd feel if that were to happen in her pool. Pad it with lots of approving statements such as I think it's a great idea to have a wading pool for your daughter. And towards the end, if she's still listening suggest that you'll help her find a way to both have the pool and protect the little kids. The most obvious way being that she empties it when it's not being used. Yes, it would be full for a day but probably not every day which would be a compromise.

With her one definitely wants to start out with a statement about how she has the right to do whatever she wants in her yard. Tell her you don't want to tell her what to do. Be very careful to make comments that give her the sense that she has the power. Not an easy thing to do when you've already gone rounds with her.

As a last resort and only if she leaves the pool full and not used, I'd call the police desk and ask to speak with a supervisor in your neighborhood. Perhaps an officer could come out and talk with her about the dangers. When I was working, we used a form of law enforcement called neighborhood policing and we would do that sort of thing from time to time. I was most willing to do that when the caller was calm and reasonable and not expressing anger. Technically, the police cannot force her to do anything, most likely and I did not like to get in the middle of a neighborhood squabble when there was nothing I could actually do.

For neighborhood squabbles our city/county has a Neighborhood Mediation Office. Perhaps your city has one too and you could try that. Ours is listed in the phone book business alphabetical section. Or it might be listed on the government pages. The police department would also know how to reach them.

Where we live, all pools 36" and deeper (whether an above ground, inground, portable, whatever) by law have to have a lockable fence around them. Check to see if any laws like this are in your area. I have to say your neighbor, although possibly quite within her rights to have that pool on her property, is pretty stupid. If just one child has a tragic accident in that pool, she could be held liable for it. Does she *at least* cover it when it's not in use? If she's following the letter of the law and there's nothing in the HOA that forbids such pools, you and your neighbors might be out of luck and will have to watch your kids when they're outside. But first, I'd check with your township about pool laws and if you're lucky, she's breaking one and will have to remove the pool or build a fence around it (which I doubt she'd do).

Attractive Nuisance laws vary a LITTLE from city to city... but the one you'll find nearly everywhere in the country are pools.

Call your local PD and ask about the situation.

Most likely (because this is what is true in most places) she will be required to fence it at the very least.

The call can be placed anonymously. Regardless. A toddler wakes up early, goes outside like they've always been allowed to until recently (or sneaks out), and drowns. Death of a child vs. a phone call. Everyone is up in arms... but it's the "dispersed responsibility" effect. The more people who know about a problem, the less likely anyone will do anything about it.

The call needs to be made.

If you don't have a HOA with rules about this, look further. In many municipalities, a pool is considered an "attractive nuisance" because of the potential danger to children. There are often laws requiring that they be fenced. Check with your city hall.

An informative article: http://law.suite101.com/article.cfm/the_attractive_nuisan...

Do you guys have an HOA (home owners association)? If so i would look up in the guidlines or contact them and see what can be done about it. Here in California there are certain laws with pools. For instance when selling a house if it falls under a certain guidline the previous owner has to provide a fence around the pool. Now obviously she's not selling her house but maybe there is some law about having children and having to have a fence around the pool? I personally would be a little upset about it because my baby is a toddler, but I also see her point because that is her yard. Good Luck that is a tricky situation.

I agree that there must be some law in your area about fencing in a pool of a certain size. I also think that it will become a mosquito breeding ground. If it's on her property, she certainly has a right to use and keep it if the owner agrees. I think a call to the local police to clarify the law is a good idea and then a call to a mediator, rather than to the landlord, is a good idea. Calling the landlord might further irritate this neighbor because you will look like you are tattling or going behind her back. The landlord should be invited to the mediation though and should certainly be aware of what's going on. It's definitely worth pursuing and resolving so that no injuries occur, either of her child or someone else's.

I don't know how it is in your area, but here, there is a law that if you have a pool that is more than 2.5 feet deep, you must erect a 6' privacy fence with a lock on the gate. Also, you are required to get a permit from the city...even for those soft sided blue ones. I would call your city administrator and ask them if there are any laws regarding a pool in a yard. Tell them about how your neighborhood is layed out and that it is a safety concern for the whole area. I wouldn't say a word more to the mom about it, since she obviously isn't concerned about anyone else. Go straight to the top and let them handle it.

Turning to us for more cooler heads...this one is very tricky and I do not envy your situation in the least bit, sorry. You have got some good advice and I see from your update that you have made a call to the city...sounds like there is nothing that can be done about the wadding pool.

I liked what one of the posters said about maybe involving the men in this situation, sometimes they can be less emotional...maybe you could get your DH to ask if she will at least make sure to dump the water at night? That way at least you all will be ensured some time w/out it being filled...and chances are she might not fill it up everyday? IDK? I do not agree at all that her kids (age 6?) should be denied some fun pool time because others around her can not/do not wish to have to keep an eye on their lil' kids every second, that is just wrong and very selfish on the part of your neighbors.

I am a little confused by this situation, I will admit. You say everyone owns except her...so you all knew and specifically chose the "shared/common" backyard living style (which I personally think is not smart) and it never ac cured to any of you that someone might want to do something with "their" space that others might not like? Hmmm, weird? I guess all your neighbors are just gonna have to watch their own kids now.

IMO: 4 and 5 yr olds should ABSOLUTELY know how to swim and shame on those parents who haven't taught or bought the swimming lessons yet!

I wonder if the owner of her home would be willing to talk with her? An even better option would be to call the police, talk them about the situation and ask if there is a local statute that speaks to this.
That being said, the rest of the neighbors need to agree to be extra vigilant of EVERYONE"S children until this is solved. I cannot imagine that this woman would be so unconcerned about the possibility of a child being hurt or killed in her pool. Does she have a husband that some of the men in the neighborhood could approach with better results?
I am sure that there is a solution to this but it sounds like there is a lot of animosity between the parties involved and my guess is that the first contact was not calm and quiet but rather heated and got things off to a bad start.

Sorry, but the safety of your children falls directly on the parents shoulders. If your neighbors are afraid their kids are going to fall in the neighbors pool and drown then they have to watch them every minute they are outside. Or put up a fence so they can't get out of their yard. What if she puts up a swing set? Will they be afraid one of their kids will fall off it, too, and get hurt? How about a trampoline? Why do her kids have to suffer by not being able to have the things they want because the neighbors don't want their unsupervised kids to play on/with it because they might get hurt? She is not breaking any laws or rules. And she must be watching her own kids because she is not concerned of their safety. Sorry, I'm on her side!

I'm a little confused. How is supervising your children robbing them of their safety/childhood? Part of parent's duty is to supervise their children. The children can still play and use their imagination.

I would call the city office and see if there are any safety ordinaces regarding pools in your town. If there are, report her. The city will give her so many days to make it safe, or she will have to take it down. That is a tragedy waiting to happen. And drowning accidents happen quickly! All it would take is one child finding a sliding door unlocked at home, and toddle on over before mom knew what happened.

HI
Check with the local laws for swimming pools, not just your housing but city, and state. There are laws in our little village: locks, ladders up, emptied, fencing etc for just that reason. Some are diligent to put buzzers on them and there are all kinds after all most people don't want some neighbor child drowning in their yard. I have heard that the neighbor bought a buzzer for one family and they used it too.
Just some thoughts to avoid a feud.
God bless you and all your decisions

See what your local laws are on pools. In my area they need to be fenced and many towns also require a permit. In my opinion a wadding pool should be dumped daily to prevent bacteria, algae and mosquitoes breeding there. If the pool is big enough to stay up longer than 2-3 days it should have a filter and chemicals it is permanent enough to need a fence and/or cover. If it is a wading pool maybe a compromise like a toddler enclosure would be workable. I've seen them in the store for about $100 and on sale as low as about $65. It wouldn't keep the 4 and 5 year olds out but it would be some safety for the under 3 year olds.

I say to handle it find out your local rules and laws, try talking to her calmly. If it doesn't work contact the landlord and lastly, report her if she is violating the local rules about pools.

As for other posts. Anyone with more than 1 child knows it is impossible to keep your eye on 2 young kids at the same time and be watching both of them every second. Mine have fallen and gotten minor cuts or bruises when I was standing in arms reach! If there are many kids of different ages it is definitely best to be safe. Also, expecting kids as young as 4-5 to all swim is totally unrealistic. I worked at camp and about a quarter to a third of the elementary school age kids were non swimmers and another third or more were "advanced beginners" who could swim a little only. I was put in swimming lessons year after year and it took a long time for it to take.

I am personally against doing something that would potentially bring a death to a child. She should take it down. BUT, I am also against, even more so, any child of any age being allowed to run in packs. Too many other dangers exist. I let my guard down, got tired of the terrible arguing and allowed my kids a little too much freedom. I checked in with them every few minutes, looked out for them constantly, but I'd get busy. Sometimes they were out of my sight for 30 minutes or so and my 14 year old lost her virginity during that time of her life. It NEVER should have happened. You are even talking about little children and they should never be out of the parents line of sight, PERIOD.

Shaun is right, it's her pool... so when a child falls in and dies from drowning, she could face some type of lawsuit later and live with a death on her hands.

If I were you, look up who owns the rental and call up the owner. Tell him/her that this pool is unsafe for the whole neighborhood. I agree with you that we should be able to let our kids out semi-unsupervised around the age of 5. I grew up that way and my kids are growing up that way.

BTW, I really disagree with Shaun's post. That is her pool, yes. She also carries a responsibility to keep her property safe if it is not enclosed! That's like leaving alcohol/guns/whatever out on the porch and just assuming that no one will touch it or telling your neighbors "tough s&*^" if they have kids.

Good luck :)

I have a 4 year old and 1 year old twins. I have a hard time keeping all 3 kids in my eyeline at all times. To all the perfect moms who claim to be viligant 100% of the time - good for you. For those of us who are more haggard, it's not so easy to watch everyone all the time. What happens if someone has to go to the bathroom, do you drag multiple kids in for the 30 seconds it takes? Yes, A child could drown in that time. We all do turn our backs for one reason or another.

That said, they make pool alarms. A good one costs about $150. If the neighborhood chipped in, I think she would have a hard time turning it down. She can keep her pool, and your neighbors will have some peace of mind. It's a nice diplomatic solution.

That

Dear S.,

Sounds like you are on the right path to help alleviate the situation. I just wanted to say how lucky you and your neighbors are to have this communal backyards where your kids can roam relatively free. I had that as a kid in the same town I am living in now, but can no longer live that way. Our moms used to send us out after breakfast, yell out our names for lunch, send us back out again till supper. It was fabulous. Now I can't even leave my son for a minute in the yard to run to the bathroom for fear of what could happen. If the ordinance you were mentioning is right I also do believe you are not allowed to have a pool with out a fence or some form of cover on the pool. Would she respond to concern? Like what if a child drowns? She would be sued and the guilt alone would be unbearable. On a positive note, if she is a renter maybe she will move eventually??!! I know it doen't help your present perdicament but one can hope.

She has the right to put up a pool for her family. If you don't like it put up a fence to keep your kids in your yard.

Generally, a person is not allowed to put up a pool, in ground or above ground, unless they have a fence around it. Call your down and ask them. You don't have to report your neighbor but ask as if you were asking for yourself whether you can put up an above ground pool without a fence. I'd be surprised if the answer was no. Then go from there, either approach your neigbor or, if she is difficult, send in the town folks and they will make her...There should be no messing around with kids' safety so to me these things are hardly negotiable. Good luck.

I didn't have time to read all the other responses, but did anyone suggest calling the landlord? If she rents, she has to answer to someone. It's such a shame that when living in a situation like that everyone can't get along and address situations like this so that every one can be happy! I hope that no one gets hurt, and you are able to work this out!

Here in Georgia by law if you have a pool you have to have it fenced in with a gated lock. I would check your laws on that and take it to the authorites and let them handle it since she obviously doesn't care about an accident waiting to happen and a simple solution-she's just being difficult. It will most likely piss her off if the authorities are called upon but they are most concerned with Public Safety.
YES the mom and dads should be keeping an eye on their toddlers while outside but just like another poster added it only takes 2 seconds for a child to escape out of a unlocked back door and something bad would happen before the mother even knew the child was missing. Can you contact her landlord and see if you can get any help from them? This is a safety issue for all the other children in the neighborhood regardless of supervision. The land lord "should" be concerned because wouldn't or couldn't they be held liable IF something did indeed happen?
Check your laws is your best answer for this one. It wouldn't be any different if she had a dog that ran loose attacking people-that is why here in Georgia as well they have what they call a leash law. There are certain laws in place for a reason and that is because there are idiots out there that are not responsible enough to have an animal and live within society just as there are those idiotic enough to set up a pool in a kid friendly neighborhood without proper safety devices to prevent a horrible accident. I know! Why doesn't she just leave a loaded gun outside too for one of those poor innocent kids to get a hold of and blow their brains out....I'm sorry but ignorant people make me so angry! I so hope you get this stupid person in trouble....stupid stupid stupid! Then we wonder why in the world we see and hear of such horrible accidents on the news!

I guess it is up to all the mothers to make sure they know where their
4 and 5 year olds are. Guess you can ask the town about regulations.

Most towns have rules regarding pools & fences - I would first check with the town - 2nd since she is a renter anything that happens on the property will also affect the owner – I would notify the owner as well but first check with the town.
Having a pool without a fence is very dangerous, recently I have read of 2 drowning at homes that have a fence but it was the their children not the neighbors who drowned.
Good luck.

Yes, sadly I must agree. The renter is still free to use the space as long as they are within guidelines. I agree that freedom is something that childhood may be missing, but I would still watch my kids no matter what. I could never live with myself if something happened and I wasn't there to help. The common space thing is just that. Common space... sadly that is what you agreed to when you purchased. Good luck!