Need Help W My Daughter - Again.

I am so sorry to hear about your daughters hardship! I know how heartbreaking this must be for you. I have a daughter about that age as well.

As a young girl, I suffered horrible self esteem. I went through a very gangly phase with bad hair, braces and glasses (ha, didn't we all!) but it hit all at once and, for those reasons or perhaps other reasons, all my good friends decided I could no longer be in their group. I was no longer allowed by them in their yard (next door) and I remember being very lonely. Their words and actions were very hurtful. One thing my M. did that really helped was to do her best to distract me. She took me everywhere that summer; we were always away from the house doing fun things. Now, that really may not be feasible as it is not vacation time, etc, but it may help to keep her surrounded by people who treat her kindly. Can she spend some one-on one time with a beloved grandparent or aunt? Can you take her out on a M.-daughter date? go to the library, let her help with the shopping, etc. Give her lots of praise and love.

I would probably talk to her pediatrician as well and he/she can help determine whether she needs additional help. Good luck! Let us know what happens!

She sounds like my DD , even in kindergarten I went to talk to the principal because she says her teacher doesn't like her, ( nothing was the way she say, she tough that because her teacher smile more to the other kids than her)..sometimes she says that the other girls are like superstar and she had very low autostime , (my girl is beautiful on everyway) I think she's getting better now ...I just talk to her and try to make her see those thing in a different way ...like with the teacher I told her that there are to many childrens in a classroom and sometimes is not easy to smile at each one of the kids, or if someone say something about her, I say well do you really think that your ugly? And she's like ...no.
she use to feel that her ears were to big ( there not big but are open)and last year she wants her hair to always cover her ears, then in a movie I don't remember wich one , I saw an actress with big ears and I told her do you think she's pretty ? She was of course and have you notice her ears... I think after that movie I have made a ponytail everyday to school ..sometimes they just need to see that everything has another side to look and what one is thinking maybe the other don't ......I hope you find the way to help her..

I'm so sorry you're going through this! Some children are very sensitive and really take what other people say to heart. Your daughter sounds like one of those kids.

Have you tried getting her involved in an activity she can shine at? Sometimes it just takes a few "wins" to get back some self-worth. We have a kid's gymnastics team where kids as young as 3 compete. Everyone wins a medal or ribbon, but not everyone wins first. Last year everyone on our team won many medals and I've been told by many parents that this team really helped with their kids' self esteem! Perhaps they have something like that in your area? Soccer? Dance?

I also highly suggest Martial Arts. Yes, they do have it for kids her age! It will do wonders for her self esteem!

You can also playact what she can say when someone says something mean. Start with Barbie dolls and have her be the "mean" Barbie who says something to another Barbie. Then you demonstrate what to say or do in return. She may need some prompting such as "now your Barbie calls my Barbie "dumb."" After a few demonstrations have your Barbie be the mean Barbie and she can get comfortable on what to say back. Once she seems good at that, then do real life acting. She can start off as the mean kid and say things to you. Then finally you switch.

If she knows what to say back, she'll have more confidence. Sometimes that's all it takes.

It totally worked with my SD when she was 6 and getting picked on at school. The funny thing is, once she had the confidence in what to say, she never needed to use it! It's like the kids could sense that they couldn't pick on her.

Good luck!