Need Advice on How to Deal with Friendship Issues with My Kiddo

Well, mine was with a girl and it was the same time frame. Much of this depends greatly on whether or not you get good help and mostly on how you manage your reactions to what he's going through. My daughter is dyslexic and has some sensory issues and is just very sensitive and easily overwhelmed. 8 was her hardest year. The best I can tell you is that if you find a good counselor (not necessarily a psychologist it depends on the fit) and you learn what you can about behavioral modification thinking you can use this year (and it likely will be exhausting for you both) to teach him some extremely valuable lessons on dealing with stress. All kids of stress. We got her a tutor/specialist for twice a week after school to help her get the one on one attention she needed to focus on school - she was not falling behind or failing, but she felt like she was not learning because she was so overwhelmed by the noise and activity of the classroom. She was a great fit and super at teaching her coping strategies. She was put in a "friendhship session" group at the school counselors' office that met once a week to discuss social issues, not perfect, but still helpful. And, I worked my behind off in helping her focus on what was really happening around her and keeping the focus on her ability to control how she reacted. There were lots of tears and I was afraid she was going to need special schooling her whole life. But now in 8th grade(!!) she is well adjusted and so much calmer than her peers. She says she went through a terrible time in 4th grade but that it taught her to handle the drama of middle school. She has no clue how much work it took for that to happen she thinks she did it all on her own and fully owns her coping skills. I know this is long but he sounds so much like her!! Feel free to message me!!

We had a similar issue and when we found out that my daughter would still be in the class with the same troubled boy that has harassed her for 3 years, I said enough and went to the principal. We had been in there before with this boy and my daughter was in tears. They put her in a different class and we let everyone know it was just some normal student shuffling that occurs at the beginning of the school year sometimes. I think the gossiping mommies cared more about it than the kids. Talk to the school, get them to help.

can you maybe request a different classroom where he is not with the two other boys? just a thought, but have you ever thought of switching schools for him? (that might not be an option for you) but just a thought. :)
he is getting bullied? have you sat him down and tried talking to him and trying to see what is really bothering him. I think all children go through something like this and as parents we just have to do the best we can. sounds like you are doing all you can do. good luck! such a hard age to deal with.

Every year is different, so don't worry yet.

I think Samantha has a very good idea to request that he be in a different classroom than the other boys. At that age, they usually play with kids in their classroom.

You have a good reason for requesting a different class. Go push for it.

You probably should have requested him to be separated before the end of last year. Now, I think its a little too late to make the adjustment.

I think its true to say another year may be different you never know. But before problems arise it might be wise to have talks with him about how if a friend is mean and/or not being nice its ok to play with another friend for awhile. Also, this can be the time, since I do believe your son is old enough, to talk about other behaviors that are not appropriate and that you won't allow in your house. You will never fully be able to always take your kids away from the influence of bad behavior for the rest of his life so its best just to teach your son what the right behavior is. Your son could be a positive influence on other kids, think of it that way.

Good luck!

Kids learn this stuff. If he's not learning it from these guys he's going to learn it from the kids sitting next to him or the kids at the next table. Life is catching up to him.

I had a pretty protected childhood, I learned the "B" word when I was in 2nd grade. We could not understand why it was a bad word, it only meant a mama dog....what's so bad about that????

It does sound like he's having some sensory issues. It might be possible that he can do some things to help him feel better. Google SPD and see if you can find some knowledge that will help him cope.

We put a weighted vest on our little guy when he needed to sit down and concentrate and it was amazing! Night and day.

It's not age appropriate for him to be chasing after your car and being so upset he can't stay at school. Unless he's being sexually abused but the teacher or another adult or hit or humiliated he should not be having such a hard time. SO there has to be another explanation, that's my point....if he's in good hands at school and he's safe then he should not be having such a hard time. So SPD is a good suggestion by the therapist.

3rd grade is HARD!!!!

I think you need to accept he's going to be around these kids for the rest of his school years. He's going to have to be strong enough to make good choices when they offer not so good choices. Hopefully he'll learn to make the good choices and the friendships will die a natural death.

Even if they're in different classrooms they'll still be at school, in the lunchroom, on the playground, before and after school those few minutes, they won't be separated except when they're actually sitting down in class working on their lessons when they wouldn't be normally socializing anyway.

I'm not sure what the "thing" is you are asking if we have dealt with. A child who doesn't like or want to go to school? I'm sure many of us have had or do deal with that. A child who has a friend you don't want him to hang out with because your kid is learning inappropriate stuff? Yeah, probably had to deal with that also. However, I don't tell my child they can't hang out with someone because of bad language or behavior. What I do tell them is that they need to make their own choices about how they want to act/speak and they need to be be prepared to suffer the consequences for a bad choice. I do not let them talk about other people when they are in trouble. I want to know what THEY did; what x did is not my concern. So I teach them to be responsible for their own behavior and not to blame their poor choices on others.

They have their own mind; they make their own decisions; they suffer their own consequences. Good life lesson.