My Two Year Old Has Turned into a Monster

Hi - I too have a 2 (almost 3) year old that can be so wonderful, and then change into a little tyrant - I just can't believe how he sometimes acts & pushes limits, testing me and his father and throwing tantrums!

What I found helpful was to step back and remember that I"M the MOM - and although I'd do anything for my son, I do not have to put up with unacceptable behavior.

He gets a warning to stop the unnacceptable behavior, then if it doesn't stop, I calmly pick him up and carry him to his crib - I tell him that he can come out when he's done with his behavior and says "sorry", and I walk out of the room. He stays there until he stops the tantrum/hollering and then I go get him. The minute it starts again, it's back in the crib. The first time probably lasted a good 40 minutes, and it was hard, but I stuck to my guns.
hope this helps -
J.

She is a two year old ! Make sure everyone is using the same rules and punishments and no one lets her get away with her behavior even a little.
When your husband is home let him be daddy and correct her, that way she will know that the two of you are working together. It will pass as fast as it started Stay strong you are the parents she just wants to see if she can control her world she is to little to do that. Another thing she is using words that she has learned from someone now is the time for everyone to watch their mouths because before you know it other things will come out at the wrong times. Even when you don't think she is listening she is. Praise her when she is being good and correct her everytime she is naughty.

As a therapist, you know that two year olds are little sponges. Who in her life uses the words "shut up?" Don't give the words too much power if you don't want her to be so interested in using them. If you can't get them out of your life, help her to think about why you don't like them. Ask her, "what do you think when Uncle Henry says "shut up" to Aunt Martha?" Then tell her what you think. "I don't like these words because they sound mean." GIve her better ideas to express herself. Let her know that "Please be quiet" will work so much better in your family. If your focus is on helping her instead of punishing her, (after all, she is just trying to make sense of this very complicated world of ours), then she will be more cooperative and less angry.

The hot sauce idea, by the way, would be considered torture if done to an adult prisoner. Why in world would anyone consider that OK for a small child?

I know it can be hard !
I have a daughter that will be 3 in April.

when she has a tamper problem with me I send her to her room and tell her she can't come out until she says sorry and stops having a fit.

and I try to block it out. and then she stops ,

sometimes they learn this from other childern,. who's parents give in so they think it's gonna be the same way for them ,

I hope things get better but, sooner or later she'll grow out of it.I hope this helped, K. V

I would say talk to her ans ask her why she is so angry. Then offer your tactics to the other family members that watch her.Maybe you offer her choices and treat her as a person and others treat her as a child(I know she is). Or try stickers for every time she is good.Praise her positive behavior and tell her why. Just a thought.

I know you got a lot of advice, but thought I give mine too. My daughter just turned 2 and she is very talkative and has been talking since 11 months. Also she can be very terrible one minute and so sweet the next. We were putting her in her room when she was naughty, but that doesnt work anymore. Now she has to stand in the naughty corner for 2 minutes. She hates it. So when she does something bad I tell her thats not nice dont do it again or you will go to the naughty corner, and when she does it again I walk her over to the naughty corner make her face the corner no talking and set a timer for 2 minutes, when the time is up she has to apologize to whomever she hurt/insulted and then she is free to go. It has been working so far, we have been doing it about a week. Good Luck and let us know how it turns out. C.

Yup, sounds about right. She is flexing her power. Just continue to guide and direct her with what is acceptable behavior and this will pass. All children, including our own, are capable of being brats. Sounds like your baby is developing quite normally. Good Luck!

My daughter was going through the same thing when she was 2, and I must say that it is tough, and that sometimes people will act like critics about it, but the only advice that I have is that you will have to be very patient and keep up with the time-outs and redirections...even if it seems that it is not working. She is being testy right now, as this is what most will call terrible-two's. For me, I did not know that terrible-two's can be SO terrible! LOL! My daughter was VERY defiant and would just not listen and didn't care about punishments because she would just find something else to do. Like, if I put her in time-out, she'd have the time of her life, tracing things in the air with her fingers, laughing at things...she'd just disregard the whole point of why she was even there. And you know, Mom, she didn't leave this stage until after 4! So, if anything else, be patient, most kids do go through this at this age. Some are not as "terrible" as others, but all kids do go through this.

I would talk your daughters pediatrician and get them to recommend a developmental pediatrician that you could see.
K.