My Daughter Is Out of State. Wondering the Best Time to Go ? Should I Stay With

Updated on April 06, 2019
D.D. asks from Boulder, CO
10 answers

Should I stay with them in small apt or close by

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

Why don’t you ask your daughter?

She’d be the best option to answer this question.

6 moms found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

You give so little information, it's hard to even guess. Things to consider are your existing relationships and your personalities (same, different?) and your past history of living in the same house. Also, does she have a family, lots of extra room? Or a tiny apartment with you on the fold-out couch? Do you want to hang out and observe their everyday life and just go with the flow, or do you expect her to entertain you? If you stay in a hotel, will you have a car and are you interested in doing things in the area to give her space, or will you expect her o pick you up and drop you off which could inconvenience her more?

My mother always stayed her and just hung out - she was content to read and crochet and create her own quiet time, but she was happy to do ordinary stuff with us when the opportunity came up, like going to the bus stop to meet my son or watching him play with driveway chalk. She enjoyed puttering in the garden and pulling weeds. She loved simple family meals and didn't expect to be waited on. When my dad was alive, my parents stayed in a hotel so they could have a large bed and their own space - my dad was extremely particular and also had a medical condition that made it easier if he had a big and private bathroom where he could spread out his supplies. They got breakfast on their own and took their time before coming over. They were happy to drive their own car, and he always liked to take everyone out for dinner during a visit to keep some of the load off me. So I've done it both ways.

5 moms found this helpful

T.D.

answers from New York on

Why not ask your daughter?? She will have a better answer of what she wants than any stranger online. If it were me and you were my mom I would say come anytime and stay in a hotel.

4 moms found this helpful

T.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Ask your daughter. Personally if she lives in a small apt with I'm assuming no extra bed/room for you then I would suggest getting a hotel room. Why can't you just talk to her about this (?)

3 moms found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

For timing of your visit - ask your daughter.
Stay in a hotel.
Everyone will be much more comfortable.

3 moms found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

is this a haiku?
khairete
S.

2 moms found this helpful
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S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

D.

I don't understand your question.

Is your daughter married and living with her husband?
Have you asked HER when a good time to visit would be?
How long do you plan on staying?

Personally if she's a newlywed? I would stay at a hotel and only for about 5 days. I wouldn't stay any longer than that. Even if she is having a baby and wants your help? I would NOT stay too long. This is something she will need to do on her own too. It's great for the first week or two, anything after that and she won't be the mom she can be because she'll have you there.

More information would be better.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Best time to go? Would you not ask her this - my mom would just ask (same as I would ask people I visit). This is the most considerate thing to do.

Generally speaking, if you're doing things together, you would go when she has time off (weekends, vacation time, etc.) unless you're helping out .. what's the purpose of your visit?

There's not a lot to go on here.

If she has space/guest room, you'd likely stay with her.

Again, best to ask her what she'd prefer.

My mother used to stay with me/us until we had children and then she (and if she traveled with a friend or other relatives) would stay in nearby hotel/B and B. It was whatever inconvenienced us the least as we had kiddos.

1 mom found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Ask your daughter when it's a good time to visit. Give her some date options that work for you. Have her check her calendar and talk with her about what works for her. Ask if you should stay nearby in an airbnb/hotel or at their place. Depending on what she says you will be able to make a decision.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

Talk with your daughter about wanting to visit. If she agrees, ask her when works best for her. Then discuss whether she has room for a guest or if staying in a hotel would be better.

Only your daughter knows the correct answers to your questions.

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