Mother of 2, Deciding on a Number3

I have 3 children. And, from my experience and other moms I have talked to, it's harder to raise an odd number of children than an even number of children. It seems that one child always feels left out. If it weren't for my health problems, I'd have had another.

Hi D.! Another Baby!!!! Babies are so adorable!!! I have 4 kids that are 8, 7, 5, 3 years old. My 8 year old and my 3 year old are just as close as the rest of them. All kids argue at some point and all kids are close to each other at some point in our household. It is really nice that they have other playmates to share their lives with. My oldest helps out with the younger ones and doesn't seem to mind. When he does, he lets me know and we give him the space he needs. But most of the time, he wants to help out with the younger ones. We had the same similiar decision to make when our last one came along. We had three and wasn't sure if we wanted to have another one. We were fine with just three. I really wanted another baby and we tried for months and did not get pregnant. So we decided it was not the right decision for us so we started getting rid of the baby stuff. I did all of my crying out being done with having babies. And then BOOM......we were pregnant! When the fourth one was born, BOTH of us had the same feeling that we were DONE. And my husband got a vasectomy just after she was born. That was three years ago. We just got her out of the diaper stage and this one night we both just started talking about having another baby in the house.....And we both realized that while we love babies/kids, we as a couple were done with having babies and wanted to focus on raising our children. My feeling on your situation is that the whole gap issue is not something pressing to worry about. Children will find a way to be close if they want to be. Every child will have their own personality and they are who they are. If you choose to have another child, this child will have all of the love and attention that the other two had, so how could you go wrong. And the diaper stage only last a few years at best. I have friends who have the same gap as you and they do not regret having another child. You are older now than when you had the first two and most likely more mature. I have found that I have become a better parent with each child. I don't get over bearing or over panic-ey about things now at 37. I was 32 when I had my third child. And I was not ready at that age to be done with having children. Look inside of your hearts and pray about your desires. The true answer will come to both of you. Really, You already have two children. I have found the hardest transition was going from one child to two children. And just adding the other two in my family really wasn't that big of a change. Good luck with your decision!

There is pros and cons to a third child but I believe the pros far outway the cons. Any child that is loved and wanted is a very exciting welcome to any family at any age so if your heart is guiding you to have another child then I would say go for it if the rest of your family is ok with it. The cons are minor such as the baby now will no longer be the baby. The 2 you have, are already school age (some loss from having a break with a new baby, but can also be good to have that special time for the new arrival.) Either choice you make is going to be the right one. Go with your heart!

I don't think there is a problem with the age gap on having another baby. You and your hubby are still young that you can do it. I just regret after having my scheduled c-section with my second son I got my tubes tied. My dr. tried to talk me out of it but almost a year later I wished I had never done it. My oldest boy just turned 4 and my youngest is about to turn 3. I am constantly on the go with them, but I love every minute of it. Whatever you and your family decide on it will be the right decision for ya'll. Take Care

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If your husband is agreeable then go for it. We started trying for #3 two years ago and we still aren't pregnant(Got pregnant very quickly with first two). Anyway now it feels like time is getting much to far away from us. My opinion is start trying sooner rather than later.

I totally understand the guilt feeling, I have two daughters (2 1/2 and 1 1/2, I wanted a third child, but now I am not so sure. The two girls definately keep me going, but what would it be like to have another baby in the house. For now, I have decided that I only have two arms, one for each child.

Hi D.,

I can very much relate to how you are feeling. I felt the same way several years ago. At the time my children were
10yrs. and 7yrs. 1 boy, 1 girl, but I still wanted another one deep down. My husband did not agree with me at the time and it made me sad to think my daughter would never be a big sister. I was almost 35yrs. old at the time, my husband 39yrs. After several more conversations about having another child my husband agreed to try. I became pregnant right away, on my husband birthday, what a gift!! I am so happy we had a third child, a boy! He looks just like my husband, the kids just love having him around (most of the time)! They are 13yr. and 10yrs. now, and the baby is almost 2yrs. old. It's great having older children, they help out and I think it's been a great experience for my older son, my daughter is another mother to him. I say go for it if it's what you both want. Your lives won't change that much and you will enjoy the experience all over again and for me I think I enjoyed it so much more the third time around.

Good luck and take care,
V.

I think whatever you decide, you should do it as a couple with both of your hearts in it. If one parent isn't sure then you may be bringing stress into your marriage.

As for the age gap, I think it's perfect. My son turned 6 when our daughter was born this summer and I'm glad that we waited a couple of extra years. He is the perfect helper, except for diapers of course, and is in school during the day giving me time to devote to the baby.

Dear D.,
I know exactly what you are going through with your decision! I am a 39 year old mother of three healthy children. My girls are 8 & 6, and my son is 17 months old.
My husband and I, like you, thought 2 was great, but we had always wanted three. Of course, there will be more mouths to feed, more problems to solve, more clothes to buy - along with many other expenses, and trying to decide how you are going to divide your time equally between three children!
However, things always seem to work out. There were a few things I had to give up and do "without" in order to be a stay home mom of 3, but I wouldn't change a thing! I am so glad we decided to have our third child. He has been such a blessing and addition to our family.
My two girls are about the same age as your children and they have been so helpful to me. I think the age range is great. The transition from 2 to 3 has been much easier than I thought and having older children will be a blessing.....trust me!
If your husband is fine with having another child, I'd say listen to your "gut" and go for it! You are at a great age to do so. Make your decision, feel good about it and God will do the rest.

Best of luck,
~ R. D.

If you feel that you and your husband can handle another one and REALLY WANT another one then go for it. I think that the age gap won't be a problem. If anything they can be of help and you can spend time with the baby while they are in school. I only have one right now and I really want another one. I thik that women just know if they should have another one or not. Good luck with whatever you decide.

I am a 27 year old step-mom of two: ages 8 and 17. I have recently told my husband that I would like to have a baby. It has taken me about a year to come to this conclusion. How I did it: I prayed...a lot! I just wanted to be sure that it was in God's plan and not just some kind of "selfish want". I feel it in my heart. My husband is going to be 35 in September, I will 28 January. We do not plan to start trying for another couple of years because we want to pay somethings down first. This will be a huge age gap in my children's ages. In my opinion, I don't worry about it because by the time the baby is born he/she will have an advantage that other kids don't have. Older siblings to look up to. It's whatever works for your family. I also have 3 yr old, 6 yr old, 22 yr old brothers and 16 yr old and 24 yr old sister. That's just my opinion though.