Military Families

G.:

I take it your SIL moved back "home" while her husband was deployed?

Stress affects everyone differently. They could be adapting to life without Daddy. Or they could be (if they moved) adapting to a new environment.

Your sister is most likely stressed and while she is most likely NOT taking it out on the children - they are picking up on her stress and reacting to it.

Every child potty trains at different times! My daughter was 4 when she was FINALLY potty trained. My oldest son? Potty trained in ONE WEEK!!! And he had just turned 2 (and I mean JUST!!) My youngest son? Took him almost six months to potty train and he was almost 4 by the time he was potty trained.

If I were your SIL I would give my daughter PULL-UPS and stop pushing it. I know our society has these "rules" about "when" a child SHOULD be Potty Trained - it doesn't apply in all children. So tell her to drop it. Give her pull-ups and do NOT stress over it. Leave it be. She will get there.

I would strongly suggest that they skype their daddy so they can see him and talk to him. that will help. However, do I think his deployment is the cause of this? No. I think it's just life in general and the stresses of life.

Of course it could. It's hard to know for sure, though, of course. How long has he been gone? Was the younger one doing well until he left? Could the older one be copying the issues the younger one is having as a way to get extra attention?

We all know that the "experts" remind us eating and pooping are about the only 2 things that little ones can actually control. Maybe they are trying to control their world, since Daddy is beyond their reach?

Or... maybe the younger girl just has "normal" issues with doing #2, and the older one is jealous of the attention and wants some for herself.

My son in law was deployed for about a year and at the time my granddaughter was too young to really understand where Daddy went. However before Brad left he recorded himself reading bed time stories which we played ever other night. The night before he left he gave her a "Daddy doll" she carried with her everywhere. The doll was made of camo colored cloth like a uniform. The face was designed for you to slide Daddy or Mommy's picture into.

She carried it with her everywhere! At first people thought it was strange for a little girl to carry around an Army doll but when they realized the doll was her link to her Daddy everyone promoted the idea.

Fortunately while he was over there he as able to skipe with my daughter more often than we though was possible.

Good luck to you. I hope sharing some of our expereince help you and your while your husband is away.

Make sure they are getting to see/talk to their dad as much as possible. If she doesn't have internet at home or a webcam she can go on base and most offer times they can go to family support and talk/see via webcam their dad.
Also family support can help her connect with other mothers who are dealing with deployment as well. Or if you know people in his squadron you can talk to the other wives who are also dealing with the deployment.
I know she doesn't want to but she might want to back off a bit on the potty training. The more relaxed she is the more the girls will relax. Kids will sense a stressed out mom even if she is a pro at hiding it.

It probably is. Deployment is tough on kids (and mommies):(
The base should have a family support center or something similar that has lots of helpful resources for helping kids deal with deployments. I would have her check there. Also, I think it's great that you are trying to help/support her during this tough time!

Could well be. My son was in the Navy for six years and his little brother, who was entering highschool at the time had a hard go of things and he had all the tools to communicate. But often no one can totally understand the gut sadness, fear and sense of loss in a family with military members.
I also had brothers and a sister in at different points.The anxiety is ever present really for some. And it is hard for little people to verbalize. We eventually turned to other military moms, groups, checked regularly on the website and sorted some of our feelings out. I still think we have what I'd call post family stress disorder, because although he is out we are paying the emotional consequences. So I urge you go to the military websites and in the meantime if you want to deal with it as a health issue use more fiber, fruits, vegetables, etc. I am sure I speak for many, thank her husband and herself for their dedication to our country.

My husband was deployed last year. Kids react in all sorts of ways to change. There is a site: www.militaryonesource.com that might have some resources.

Yes, of course it could - here is the thing for little kids, they can "control" bowel movements, where and kind of when so it is a "go to" move even if it is subconciously done. She should have a Support Group on base if she lives on or near base.

Militaryonesource is a great website! She can get all sorts of info.