Mamapedia Profiles

Let me share my story with you. I'm not a mom but I live next door to my brother and I am helping him raise his two daughters who are 8 and 10. His wife died a several years ago, so I agreed to help him by being with the girls after school while he is at work, helping with meals, going to school fuctions, and supporting him as best as I can. It's hard to be a single dad raising two daughters and I know he has appreciated my help over the years.

I used to have this information in my profile, but I got really tired of moms telling me I had no right being on this site because I'm not a "real mom". I may not be my nieces biological mom, but I have been there for them as a mom, and have even gone to various functions when they wanted a mom wih them. They confide in me like they would a mom, and even get me cards on Mother's Day.

I finally removed all personal information about me from my profile becaused I didn't want anymore personal attacks about why I'm here. I need all the help and support I can get, just like all the other "real moms" on here.

Not only do I not want to share, but I have a neighbor on this site and she does not know I am on here - I want to keep it that way!

I guess I dont share much because this board is my "venting" spot sometimes. ANd Im afraid someone I know may see something I've posted and know it's about them?? I know that probably sounds crazy, but I never get out, I hardly have any adult conversations except w/ my husband. So I feel like I need this place to be private and safe for me to seek out advice and help and not be "found out" LOL

Well I got a picture!

Ok, ok, I'll put something right now, geez.

:)

When I started I didn't want to share a whole lot about myself to a world of strangers. Now that I've been on this site for a little while I don't share anything because I've seen people judged and ridiculed because of what they'd wrote about themselves on their profile.
I don't share a picture for two reasons: 1. Who cares what I look like? 2. A picture doesn't give any validity or level of importance to a question or a response.
Hope I helped answer some of your curiousity.

I'm not sure what my profile says, but I typically don't share a whole lot with the general public because I've had my husband's ex-wife stalk me on boards like this and attempt to use it against me. Of course, I don't much care anymore, so if she (or her sister or mother) is reading this now: Hi sweetie! :P

Michele,
Easy: Crazy people

I'm happy to share the basics: Married, O. child, 9, etc. but there are people out there crazy enough to stalk you if they don't like what you have to say/what you stand for/what you believe. I know. I've been stalked by a crazy on here that was motivated to stalk me (even though she was blocked by me) on FB until she found my last name. They walk among us. Sad, but like so many things, a few bad apples really DO spoil it for others.

I also wonder about people who insist on freely sharing their husband's names, children's names, friends names, etc. Some go so far as to put that specific info out their in their responses to people they might "know" on a deeper level through this site, but they show no respect for the fact that the user has chosen a "handle" (CHOSEN to NOT use their actual name probably for the reasons I've listed above, maybe because they don't want anyone to know who they are) by referring to them by given name, referring to their husband's by their names, etc. So even if the poster is trying to remain anonymous, there are people who have no regard for that fact. (I changed my "handle" when we all started adding symbols, etc., and while I think most regulars knew I was previously 'Denise P.,' and I made no effort to hide that fact, some made it a point to specifically mention it. Whatever. Small lives I suppose.
That doesn't bother me as much as the ones who repeatedly refer to their children, husbands, friends, by name. I mean it's O. thing to blow your own anonymity, but to offer up your kids, spouses, etc? To me that's plain nuts.

I think that if someone happened upon my profile by accident, and knew me in real life, they'd recognize me as myself by the details I share in my day to day MP questions and answers.

At first it was more important that I feel anonymous, especially because many of my quandaries refer to my niece. Frankly her bio dad scares me quite a lot and I like to keep personal distance. Wouldn't want my fears to be printed out in black and white, yah know?

I stayed at arms length to this site for the first 6 months I was on here. I *think* I had a little blurb written, but in my answers I kept the identifying information sparse.

I'm not sure if it's an entirely good idea or not, but I've pretty well thrown that fear out the window. I get a lot of good reflecting and relaxing time in on here and it helps to 'know' some of the regulars. Feels more familiar and helpful. I figure that if I share some real stuff, I'm more likely to get real feedback too - and it's more helpful in looking back into my own mind as well, sort of like a philosophy journal or some such measuring stick.

I've considered putting up a photo of my face, but that's a little too close for comfort still. I don't use my real name either. That way my thoughts can be candid without feeling risky.

PS I love, love, LOVE being able to see photos of MP mamas, as well as information they share. Helps create more of a round character in my mind.

Because I'm super-lazy & haven't decided how much I feel like sharing.

ETA: Just tried to edit my profile & guess what? I can't do it because I'm on an iPad & that stupid add is in the way.

I agree! What's up with that? I mean, I don't need your life history but come ON, at least say a little something about yourself. And give us a photo, if not of yourself at least your cat or something!

I share enough info that the posters on this site may know my background and experience. I do that so that when I give advice they will know I speak from experience not ideas I got from a comic book.

I often look at profiles when answering questions because I want to give valid answers and genuine help. When a mom or dad asks why their son or daughter won't do what they are told, it makes a difference if the child is 2 or 12 or 22.

If a woman asks about her looks/appearance and has no photo, it makes it real difficult to give good sound advice.

I'm here because I genuinely want to be of help to those in need.

Good luck to you and yours.

I don't want my privacy compromised at all. I have friended a few people here who play the same games I do on FB but as for the general public who can create a fake email address and sign up I choose to not share more than I would tell a stranger.

There is no privacy on this site at all if you don't do it for yourself.

I can go make up a dozen email addresses and use each and every one of them to attack, spam, advertise on others questions, etc...and never be stopped due to being able to go make up more emails and do the same things. I won't allow too much of my private life to be posted in that.

I do allow some to have more personal information but not many.

People, please don't fool yourself into thinking you can't be found on the internet. If you have a personal email, a facebook, a friend with a facebook that post a pic of you, have purchased a home, pay taxes, ever been arrested, married, divorced, have given a ticket, ever been mentioned in a newspaper article, been in a car wreck, have a home phone, have a cell phone, ever had a cell phone, have a child that made it in the newspaper, involved in a lawsuit, had a foreclosure..... YOU can be found, sometime at a cost to the person wanting to find you, but you can be found.
Me, personally, I have nothing to hide. And I have no problem 'proving' who I am, which I have had to do on here..... ;)

I don't share anything personal, because I (and my husband especially. He works with computers, so he knows what's up) am very worried about security online. I think some basic facts out my beliefs,family, and marital status can be easily seen in answers to questions, and my questions. Anything else I don't share...actual location, family names, etc. I don't have a profile, because most identity thieves look for profile information. Just a precaution, and not anything personal!!

I have not read the other responses....

Public forums are a mixed bag of characters.

However, there are definitely a lot of crazies on this site. Not in the beginning, but over the years they have found us. So, I do not share too much personal information to protect myself and family from unstable personality types.

I will share personal details with the friends I have made here. As a matter of fact I plan on taking them all on a cruise in a few years, but they don't know that yet.

Bottom line....it's important to practice good identity and internet safety. Especially with people who's professions place them in the public eye already.

On a personal note, I have been sued before by a crazy couple, because I was married to my husband, therefore his profession and I represented the community at large. Yes, no kidding. So this couple has a child. They are not your average couple. They were both living in the same adult daycare due to serious mental issues. She gets pregnant, has a baby, they decide to keep the baby and can no longer live at the adult daycare as a consequence. My husband sees the child in clinic, because the child is also not of average IQ and suffers other medical issues. He placed the baby on a specific epilepsy drug for seizures. The child gets a virus, an adult comes by to check in on them and the baby is very sick so the responsible adult takes the baby to an ER where the ER doc prescribes meds based on that issue. Of course, they are not 'with it' enough to inform the ER doc that the baby is on other meds. So there is a severe allergic reaction in the baby, who already has a compromised immune system, and the baby ended up in the hospital with a terrible skin condition which took weeks to heal. And this special needs couple sued us for prescribing the seizure medication....and yes, they found an attorney to take this case. It consumed months of our time and energy and was professionally a tad embarrassing to my husband, because we really aren't innocent until proven guilty in our country. The lawyer was ridiculously aggressive and thick headed and he saw pharmaceutical $$ or at least a big payout by the insurance company to go away. Fortunately, he got neither.

i understand the concerns about privacy, stalking and info sharing.
it just doesn't faze me much. i suppose if anything rotten ever happens to me i might re-think it. but i'm just sort of an out-there gal.
edited to add, what IS up with the edit profile button? i'd love to put a more current picture up!
:) khairete
S. (off to MP stalk theresa)

It is kind of funny, huh? I've got my brief intro and website address. Perhaps it's because I'm already 'out there' online, don't have any stalkers, that I feel okay in giving out that little bit of info.

However, I don't use my son's name or image on this site or on my own blog. He has the right to grow up without total strangers knowing his business.

I imagine some women might use no descriptors because they have been stalked online or may want to limit the drama in their lives. Perhaps they post here for advice anonymously because there are other family members which might use the site?

And I agree with 8KidsDad: I mention my work with children because I do want people to know that I am giving 'qualified' advice and am not just getting my information/ideas out of nowhere.

Oh Megan you are a real mom!!!!! What you are doing is a wonderful
thing. Those girls will always remember everything you have done for them.
You deserve the same recognition as birth moms. What you are doing is
a wonderful thing. God Bless You. Those girls and your brother are very
lucky to have such a wonderful person in their life.

Now getting to the question. I just never thought of putting anything in my
profile. I just enjoy having the chance to ask a question and get the great
answers and opinions of others. Also enjoy answering questions when I can. Have a great weekend everyone!

I think a lot of people do not share anything for safety reasons.
I like to share that I am married, have 3 kids and their ages.
Some people ask questions about their kids and I have to figure out myself how old they are by their profile. Or not find out and just wonder......

I agree as well! I said my age (31), marital status(married), said how many kids I have(4) and their ages (3, 5, 7 and 8), what I do for work (SAH), and my favorite hobby (painting). not too much info, but enough:)

I update it as things change. I just turned 31, and I have not always been strictly SAH.

I wish people gave a little info. For one example, a lot of people ask questions about their child and don't mention the age of the child and then I check the profile to see the age and nothing is written there as well.

I don't go so far as to give out my name or my kids' names. I will not put up my photo either. I say some things on here that I'd rather just be on here, and I'll choose what I want to talk to my in-person friends about. Not that I have secrets or talk behind someone's back or anything, but sometimes I just want a Mamapedia opinion:)

I don't want any stranger knowing about us for obvious reasons, but the info I give does NOT give that stuff away.

Also, I live within 15 minutes of it, but I do not live within the Occoquan city limits.

I used to, but the edit profile link broke almost a year ago. So I'm stuck with the old stuff

It's a good internet safety practice to not give out too much info about yourself.

I put a little info because I think it is helpful. It helps me keep people straight. Im someone who remembers nearly everthing I read or hear so profiles help me sort out who's who. I want other people to get that from me as well.

On a side note...I've been able to edit several times. My daughter turned 5 and then we moved, so twice within 3 months. I wonder why some can andsome can't.

and my question would be ... what does ANY of that (especially a picture) have to do with the advice you are going to give?

About the only thing that might matter would be the age of my child, if it's not mentioned in the post.

i dont share personal information about myself on line ( on my personal email line, by request, sure, no problem) but on line, where just anybody can get my address and phone number, no, i dont think so.
K. h.

I am in the group with the lazy ones, that is mostly why I haven't done it. I figure my questions give away a lot of info about myself anyway, and I'm usually careful to include whatever info is needed in my posts.

Besides it's discouraging after I had a crazy take a cheap shot and make a nasty comment about some of my past questions in a totally unrelated post. And of course that person doesn't have any personal questions on their page.
It's like, yeah you feel free to stoop that low because no one else can play your dirty game since your safe with your empty questions page there? Oh yes and I'm sure you've never had a rough day with your husband. I can't stand that immature stuff.

What really creeped me out is when a woman addressed me by name when she answered one of my questions. My name is not even on my profile, I changed it a long time ago, but I asked her and she said it popped up when the page was loading or something. I don't know if it was an error on Dramapedia's part but it was wierd!

I agree with everything onecrazylady said, and Momma11. I like the anonymity of this, and I've read Ben Elton's Blind Faith, which really got me thinking about a post-apocalyptic world of online 'sharing'.

I believe I've shared tons of info in questions or my responses to others however I have a paranoia about stalkers. No, I do not mean you wonderful moms and dads on here but rather just crazy internet stalkers. Plus, I often forget how much I divulge in what I write & I tend to repeat myself constantly and am afraid my profile info would babble on......yes which is what I'm doing now. :-P