Making It up to My Son

I'm a single mom and super busy...sometimes it happens. I just talk to my son about it and explain why I forgot. I then ask for his help in reminding me when big things are coming up so that I can remember. This has helped both of us out A LOT! He has his own calendar and keeps track of everything we have to do too. Two brains are better than one!

I agree with the other posters. In addition, maybe you could also all talk about a way to make sure something like this doesn't happen again. Maybe you need a new calendar system or other kind of organizational improvements. This will be good training for someday when he's in the work world: mistakes are made, you own up, apologize and figure out how to make sure they don't happen again. Best of luck.

Unfortunately this is an opportunity for a life lesson for you both! I would sit down with your son and genuinely apologize. Ask him if there is something special, although not "equal" that he may want to do together- his choice. If he doesn't want to do anything, then that is his option.

I would take the opportunity to talk with him about how people make mistakes and the importance of a genuine apology and forgiveness. I think we have all been in this situation- one side or the other. He will eventually get over it, but you may hear about it for a very very long time!

Unfortunately there's not a whole lot you can do if it was a one time deal. You've done all you can in my opinion. You've apologized and offered to make it up to him in some way.

Hi Karen,

You can talk to him about the importance of accepting a sincere and heartfelt apology, especially from the people who love him more than anyone in this world.

He's your boy, what does he like to do the most?

I would take care not to over compensate, even young children must learn there will be disappointments in life and we must get over it and go on.

Blessings.....

Kids have long memories but forgive easily. Ask him what you can do to make up for it.

you should just ask your son this question. It would solve the situation

This happened to me when my son was 7. Humbling, isn't it? His was a pool birthday party, so after apologizing, I said, "Do you want to go swimming -- just you and me?" He was thrilled to have some one-on-one time. I told him I knew it didn't replace Megan's party, but that it would still be fun. I also had to apologize to Megan's mom -- the woman I had RSVP'd to! Moms make mistakes. Just try to "make it right" as best you can -- and relax. Kids are forgiving little creatures. Best of all, they don't hold grudges.

I believe another life lesson moment here is forgiveness. Can you forgive yourself and thus teach him forgiveness.

What I mean by forgiveness is: instead of sitting in - "This shouldn't have happened"; you acknowledge "what is", feel the feelings (disappointment, frustation, anger, pain), and then you take the next step to move forward.

Letting go of the "shoulds/shouldn'ts" and acknowledging that we all do what we do for all the reasons we do is what forgiveness really boils down to. I doesn't mean we won't feel the pain and we won't need to make some amends. It just means that we don't sit in the place that can't ever be changed and beat up ourselves (or the other person). We acknowledge what happened, feel all our feelings, and then let go by taking small steps forward.

Oh my... I am so sorry. That one will probably be a big one in his book. The two of you set him down and sincerely tell him how sorry you are and tell him you want to make it up to him. Take him on a special outing that you normally wouldn't do. Does he like to go boating, fishing, camping? Have a fun weekend. Take him to a real ball game, something that will really make a memory for him. I don't know what his interests are, but take them and make it something fun!

My son plays violin. He was supposed to play at some event earlier this week. When we drove past the place where the event was ,he about lost it. He was very upset because he wanted to play at it. I didn't realize it was that night. I felt horrible. I tried to tell him I was sorry but it didnt' really help that night, or the next. Today he is fine. We talked about what to do to make sure it didnt' happen again. I wish I could tell you what to do to make it better but it really isn't your choice to make it better, its his. He has to be the one to forgive and realize that things sometimes happen. You need to forgive yourself though. Nothing can be done now, just let it go.