JFF: Burn the Good Candles

Updated on September 30, 2011
E.J. asks from Lincoln, NE
7 answers

My friend texted me last night (she lives 2 hours away) wanting to come and stay the night here. She has 3 boys and so naturally all I could picture was my house getting trashed. I was at first tempted to say we were sick or some other reason. But.... I told her to come and that I was excited she was coming. She was so glad I told her I was excited b/c she said she didn't think I was. I'm so glad I said to come. The house can be cleaned again and someday I'd hate to regret not welcoming her over just b/c of a little mess. It make me think of what my mom always says, "Burn the good candles". She got it from Erma Bombeck. (see below)

So... How will you burn your good candles? :-) Hope everyone enjoys! Happy Friday!

"If I Had My Life to Live Over" by the late Erma Bombeck

If I had my life to live over, I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained and the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television - and more while watching life.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There would have been more "I love you's".. More "I'm sorrys" ...

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute... look at it and really see it ... live it...and never give it back.

What can I do next?

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

Life is too short......I work fulltime and have three kids so my house is not always tidy and i'll bet 9 out of 10 times you'll find a dish I should have washed or I missed a crumb on the table that should have been wiped. I do my best and have people over regardless. Burn those candles indeed :) Have a nice weekend.

5 moms found this helpful
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K.P.

answers from New York on

I love this and it reminds me of my grandmother and her best friend, both of whom influenced my life greatly. Neither of them looked back on their lives with a list of "I would haves..."- mostly their lives were full or laughter and great stories! Their best lessons that they passed on to my mother and us...
- Use the good china whenever you can. If it gets chipped, so what! It does no good in the china cabinet
- Drink good wine and don't apologize for it
- Wearing black is for those in mourning... you're young, wear color (coming from two women dressed in aqua and violet at 80 & 85)
- Have tea parties with your grandchildren using the good china and let them wear your wedding gown whenever they want (still some of our favorite pictures together)
- Wear the red high heels and let people stare, who cares?
- Have fresh flowers in your house. Of course they die, but don't they look and smell lovely while they are alive?
- If your child asks you to cuddle/play/read a book, drop what you are doing and say "yes". There will come a day when they stop asking and you will miss those days.
- Don't go parking with a boy after 10:00. I'm not sure what they thought would happen after 10 that couldn't happen before, but I think it had to do with public perception.

There are so many others, but the way they lived their lives was wonderful and my sisters and I still laugh when we put on our "sparkly flip flops" because they remind us of our Aunti Vi who wore them until the day she died because she just loved rhinestones! We also don't wear much black in our family... plenty of time for that when we're "old"!

5 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

My mom sent this to me years ago...it was great then and is still great now!!

I'd rather spend time with a friend than worry about my house being clean.

I'm sooo glad that you jumped on the chance to see your GF!! That's GREAT!!!

Thanks for the nice thoughts!! Keeping me in check!!

3 moms found this helpful
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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

And do you know what happens to the good candles that don't get melted but don't get burnt, that are always saved?

They show up at the thrift store, dusty and dingy and highly unattractive. They've outlived their appeal, but never got to do what they were made for.

It's not being wasteful to use and enjoy your things and your time.

3 moms found this helpful

N.N.

answers from Detroit on

I printed this poem a few months ago. I love it! I am glad you decided to bond with the gurl friend and the kids, we all need that! and need to make it happen more often.

2 moms found this helpful

A.S.

answers from Detroit on

Meh... I don't worry about my house. ESPECIALLY when it comes to my friends.

While my house is clean... It's not neat by any stretch of the imagination. And... Sometimes, you might get a piece of sucker stuck to the bottom of your sock in my livingroom if I let the kids have them that day. :)

Friends, family, and especially kids won't remember how clean your house is/was... They'll remember the good times shared.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

A classic! Thanks for sharing!

Similarly, I like this:

Life should NOT be a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in an attractive and well preserved body,
But rather to skid in sideways,
chocolate in O. hand,
wine in the other,
body thoroughly used up,
totally worn out and screaming
"WOO HOO what a ride!"

1 mom found this helpful
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